Introduction to Pastoral Care part 1 Craig Mobey
Introduction to Pastoral Care part 1 (The nature of Pastoral Counseling as well as Empathy, compassion & understanding)
Acts 20:27 “For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God.” (King James Version).
A study guide on an Introduction to Pastoral Care part 1 for MINTS students
Ps. Dr. Craig Fredrick Mobey
Filadelfia Ministries, Bloemfontein, South Africa
Email: /
Web: www.filadelfiainstitute.org
MINTS International Seminary,
14401 Old Cutler Road Miami, Florida 33158 USA Tel. 786-573-7001, www.mints.edu
INTRODUCTION 4
STRUCTURE OF THE COURSE 4
COURSE MATERIALS 6
COURSE OBJECTIVES 6
COURSE REQUIREMENTS 6
COURSE EVALUATION 7
BENEFITS OF THIS COURSE 7
LESSON 1: THE NATURE OF PASTORAL COUNSELING 10
INTRODUCTION 10
FALSE SELF 14
TRUE SELF 15
BIBLICAL COUNSELING 16
THE TASK OF EDIFYING 21
THE TASK OF EVANGELIZING 22
THEOLOGY AND COUNSELING 23
WHAT IS COUNSELING? 26
COMMUNICATION 28
VERBAL COMMUNICATION 28
LISTENING SKILLS 29
FACTORS WHICH MAY HINDER EFFECTIVE LISTENING 30
HELPFUL GUIDELINES TO IMPROVE COMMUNICATION 31
NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION 32
HOW TO READ BODY-LANGUAGE 32
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF SUCCESSFUL INTER-PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 36
CHARACTERISTICS OF A SUCCESSFUL COUNSELOR 37
WINNERS 39
LOSERS 41
A FEW PRACTICAL HINTS 42
TRUE BIBLICAL COUNSELING 43
LESSON 2: EMPATHY, COMPASSION AND UNDERSTANDING 49
INTRODUCTION 49
DEFINITIONS 51
THE IMPORTANCE OF EMPATHIC RELATIONSHIPS 52
LISTENING TO AND UNDERSTANDING VERBAL MESSAGES 52
LISTENING TO AND UNDERSTANDING CLIENTS IN CONTEXT 54
THE HELPING CONTEXT IS ALSO IMPORTANT 54
EMPATHIC LISTENING 55
TOUGH-MINDED LISTENING 57
LISTENING TO ONESELF 58
THE THREE DIMENSIONS OF RESPONDING SKILLS: PERCEPTIVENESS, KNOW-HOW, AND ASSERTIVENESS 59
BASIC EMPATHY: COMMUNICATING UNDERSTANDING TO CLIENTS 60
THE BASIC EMPATHY FORMULA 60
EXPERIENCES, BEHAVIORS, AND FEELINGS AS ELEMENTS OF EMPATHY 61
PRINCIPLES TO GUIDE THE USE OF BASIC EMPATHY 64
RECOVER FROM INACCURATE UNDERSTANDING 67
POOR SUBSTITUTES FOR EMPATHY 70
TACTICS FOR COMMUNICATING EMPATHY 73
SUGGESTIONS FOR THE USE OF EMPATHY 74
SERMON NOTES ON EMPATHY 76
CASE STUDY ON EMPATHY 81
LESSON 2 ASSIGNMENT 1 83
LESSON 2 ASSIGNMENT 2 85
BIBLIOGRAPHY 86
BIOGRAPHY 88
INSTRUCTORS MANUAL 89
EXAMINATION 89
LESSON 1 ASSIGNMENT ANSWERS 93
LESSON 2 ASSIGNMENT 1 ANSWERS 103
LESSON 2 ASSIGNMENT 2 ANSWERS 109
EXAMINATION 110
All Scriptures are from the 1769 King James Version of the Holy Bible (also known as the Authorized Version).
PREFACE
Pastoral care needs to have as its primary focus, the care of all God’s people through the ups and downs of everyday life, the creation of caring environments within which all people can grow and develop to their fullest potential. Matthew 22:37 – 39[1] reminds one that pastoral counseling points toward a ministry of reconciliation with both God and neighbor.
This points toward the uniqueness of Biblically based interventions, in a world where almost every religion exercises pastoral counseling from the perspective of that religion.
INTRODUCTION
Counseling refers to a process of encouraging growth from within. It is rooted in a growing awareness of one’s self. From this should come a less distorted way of seeing persons and relationships and greater courage to accept one’s responsibility to make commitments and decisions[2].
Pastoral counseling represents a fusion of two not altogether discrete sources: pastoral care, i.e. the traditional shepherding function of the Christian minister; and dynamic psychology, which focuses upon the striving aspects of personality as the key to understanding persons.[3]
STRUCTURE OF THE COURSE
The course is divided into two lessons, which can be taught over eight parts, as follows:
1. Part 1: Introduction to the course and orientating the student to Pastoral Care. Important discussion points include definitions, differences & the potential counselor’s inner self: the wounded healer must be available to Him. This part ends with the section titled “what is counseling?” (Page 10)
2. Part 2: This part centers on communication. It is important to discuss communication in great detail and to practice such skills on one another. The potential counselor needs to master communication skills; not only read about them. This part ends with the section titled “the ten commandments of successful inter-personal relationships.” (Page 28)
3. Part 3: This part is intended to align the potential counselor with the characteristics of a successful counselor. The lecturer should refer back to the previous two lessons and deploy those skills and characteristics in this lesson in order to reinforce the foundation laid. Importantly, the potential counselor should understand what makes Pastoral Counsel to also be Biblical Counsel. Time should be made in order to prepare the student for the first assignment and prescribed book. (Page 37)
4. Part 4: The overall theme of this part is: listening, which is very different to hearing. The lecturer should spend a great deal of time in demonstrating the various concepts dealt with. This part ends with the section titled “tough-minded listening.” (Page 49)
5. Part 5: This is the 1st part of two parts dealing with empathy. It is a theoretical class; the student counselor must fully understand this, one the pivotal points of pastoral care. (Page 55)
6. Part 6: The second part to empathy is where the student must master the skills. Practical examples are called for. The case study is to be completed by the individual in class and feedback given in the same class. (Page 73)
7. Part 7: The entire class is to be dedicated to de-briefing students on the prescribed book & practical.
8. Part 8: This entire class is to be used to debrief students on the assignments, again touch base on the key concepts and to prepare students for examination.
COURSE MATERIALS
The students are required to read this guide thoroughly along with the Scriptures. Students are also required to do a Bible study of each of the Scriptures referred to. To this end, a good study Bible is needed.
The following book is prescribed; students are expected to submit a book summary of it after completing assignment two. YANCEY, P. 2002. Where is God when it hurts? Zondervan: Grand Rapids. [4]
COURSE OBJECTIVES
1. To introduce the student to Pastoral Counseling as a field within Practical Theology.
2. To introduce the student to basic problem areas as commonly encountered in the Pastorate.
3. To introduce the student to the fundamentals of Biblically based Pastoral Counseling.
4. Explore the concept of Pastoral Counseling as an expression of missionary work.
5. To equip the student with a working knowledge and ability to demonstrate empathy, compassion and understanding.
6. To translate academia into practice.
COURSE REQUIREMENTS
1. Know this study guide well. It is the foundation to Pastoral Care.
2. Complete the Bible study exercises on each mentioned Scripture.
3. Complete the assignments at the end of each lesson.
COURSE EVALUATION
1. Student class participation (10%):
2. Student Reading/Reports (15%):
3. Student Essay: (10%):
4. Student Homework (50%):
5. Student Exam (15%):
BENEFITS OF THIS COURSE
1. Understand the nature of Pastoral Counseling
2. Understand empathy, compassion and general understanding of actual problem areas.
3. Participate in the pastoral conversation.
4. Understand the parameters of pastoral counseling as a discipline as it relates to emotions, self development and management and the role of the Father, Son and Spirit in pastoral counseling.
5. Understand the fundamentals of Biblically based Pastoral Counseling.
6. Have a foundation to further studies in Pastoral Counseling.
7. Understand the pastoral dynamics of common problem areas.
8. Understand the parameters of Pastoral Counseling as a discipline.
9. Demonstrate understanding of pastoral care as a ministry in the church.
10. Engage in pastoral care in relation to personal salvation.
11. Comprehend empathy, compassion and understanding.
12. To demonstrate an ability to use empathy, compassion and understanding.
HOW TO DO A BOOK REPORT[5]
A book summary is a critical evaluation. A book summary demonstrates that the student has read the book and is able to place into their own words key ideas, information and arguments presented by the author. Having done this, the student may add personal commentary.
The purpose of a book summary is to evaluate the student’s critical assessment and understanding of the information and ideas presented by an author. A book summary is therefore much more than a coverage summary of a book.
The student may use the book summary to share dialog with the author and other interested parties. The student may agree and disagree – IF the student can qualify their point of view.
The design of a book summary assists the student with the development of their analytical skills:
1. The student must be able to summarize the content of the book per chapter.
2. The student must give an analysis of what they have read and then decide:
2.1. What is the core of the book and chapters?
2.2. Is the title of the book and chapter a reflection of said core?
2.3. What is the central thesis of the book and chapters?
2.4. Did the author remain true to his/her thesis?
2.5. Is the objective(s) of the book and chapters achieved?
3. Speculate about the book’s subject(s).
4. The student should communicate their thoughts, sensations and knowledge to the reader of the book summary.
5. The student is thus a:
5.1. Reporter.
5.2. Analyst.
5.3. Observer.
6. Book summaries are not written in an academic language, but in an understandable everyday language. If technical terms are used, they must be defined at the beginning of the book summary.
7. The student should indicate if the author has a valid point(s).
8. What new information, insight and truths has the book added to the understanding of the student, in relation to the subject matter?
9. Before you submit the book report / summary:
9.1. Is the book properly identified?
9.2. Is the author’s arguments presented with clarity and objectivity?
9.3. Are the two to three core outcomes clearly defined?
9.4. Have you provided reasons to your criticism?
9.5. Is there a final evaluation of the book’s importance, based on your discussion?
9.6. Have you provided a bibliography, if applicable?
10. Length of the book report / summary: three pages for BA, six pages for MA.
LESSON 1: THE NATURE OF PASTORAL COUNSELING
INTRODUCTION
By definition, the Biblical counselor is one who is persuaded of and allegiant to a Christian worldview, that is, one who functions within a frame reference that consciously sees all of the realities and relationships of life a perspective that is Biblically coherent and consistent, and thus honors God of Scriptures[6].
The one element of such a worldview that most dramatically distinguishes it from all pretenders is the commitment to a theocentric perspective on all of life and thought.
“From the very beginning, human change depended upon counseling. Man was created as a being whose very existence is derived from and dependent on a creator whom he must acknowledge as such and from whom he must obtain wisdom and knowledge through revelation. The purpose and meaning of his life, as well as his very existence, is derived and dependent. He can find none of this in himself. Man is not autonomous. ‘In the beginning was the Word’ (John 1:1) says it all.[7]”
Thus any model of counseling that is authentically Biblical will be framed, designed, and executed in happy submission to the Biblical demand that our lives be lived out entirely for the glory of God[8].
In short, Biblical counseling is animated by a Godward focus.
The temptation today, even within the Christian community, is to do otherwise, to conduct counseling with a primary focus on someone or something other than God. But the Biblical counselor must be committed to a Godward focus in counseling.
There are three basic reasons:
1. Because God demands it;
2. Because the natural exaltation of self is destructive; and
3. Because the soul-satisfying life God intends for children can only be found through Jesus' spiritual paradox in denying self and focusing on God[9].
The essence of who we are is made up of events and how we responded to those events. We are the sum of what we encountered in life and our reactions to those experiences.
Memory, the recalling of the past, is our spirit gazing at the substance of our soul, which at times, directs our life, rather than the word of God. Thus, most of our problems are due to ignorance on how to Biblically respond to life, and to use life's adversities to our advantage as opportunities to grow and mature in Christ (Romans 8:28-29[10]).
These spiritual resources are available to those who are born by the will of God. Having accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord, the believer is enabled by Holy Spirit to face life, to counter adversities, to grow in grace and strength, and to live in peace and joy (John 1:12[11]; John 3:16[12]).
The issue is the self, the soul of man. The self-created by God, belongs to God. The self, tempted to be god without God, became enslaved by Satan (Genesis 1:26-27[13]; Genesis 2:7[14]; Genesis 3:1-6[15])[16].
Soul: in religion and philosophy, the immaterial aspect or essence of a human being, that which confers individuality and humanity, often considered to be synonymous with the mind or the self. In theology, the soul is further defined as that part of the individual which partakes of divinity and often is considered to survive the death of the body[17].
The living soul is what we will deal with, learning:
1. To set it free.
2. To again be completely dependent upon God.
3. To follow Him and to glorify Him.
Philippians 2:12-13[18]; 2 Peter 1:3-11[19] tell us to work out our salvation daily being conformed to the image of Christ. The key is daily, being God-conscious twenty-four hours a day.
Either we are thinking God's thoughts or we defer to lower level thinking. There is no gray area. You are either for God or you are against Him (Matthew 12:30[20])[21].
Throughout the counseling session, the goal is to change the counselee's focus on the false self, a self of lusts and appetites to a realization of his true self, a self in union with Christ. This is accomplished by a continuous process of judging self, one's own sins, not others; changing focus from self needs to one of accomplishing God's purposes for his life by loving Him and others foremost; daily dying to the old man and putting-on the new man; and of maintaining a state of forgiving and reconciling throughout life. The ultimate goal now is for the counselee to be a disciple, to help and restore others to this same position whereas they, in turn, will do likewise.[22]