Healthy Self-Concept and High Self-Esteem: What to Watch for and How to Cultivate It at Home

Healthy Self-Concept and High Self-Esteem: What to watch for and how to cultivate it at home.

How can teenagers hold on to a positive mindset and maintain a sense of who they are?

A healthy self-concept and high self-esteem will serve as a buffer for your teenager against depression, anxiety, loss, hopelessness, failure, burn out and stress now and later in life. The biggest gift you can give your teenager is the opportunity to develop a healthy self-concept and high self-esteem.

Tonight we are going to talk about self-concept and self-esteem. I will focus on what to watch for (the red flags that are indicative of things that may inhibit healthy development) and how you can cultivate healthy self-concept and high self-esteem at home.

Ways to foster self-esteem and a healthy self-concept in your teenager:

1. Watch FOR the signs of stress. As a family, spend some time brainstorming outlets for stress. The more outlets teenagers have and use, the less stressed and more confident they will feel. They will end up healthier, more successful, and stronger.

2. Watch for signs of burn out.Spend some timereflecting with your teenager. Find out what your child is passionate about and have a conversation about why they are doingextracurricular activities and school work. The more teenagers link their school work and their activities to what they are passionate about, the more meaning and satisfaction they will find in them.

3. Consider how your child expresses emotions.Encourage emotional expression.This will teach teenagers to learn how to release and communicate feelings. Repression of emotions leads to erratic behavior, self-destructive coping mechanisms, depression, and/or illness. Expression of emotions leads to increased self-esteem.

4. Consider the level of your TEENager's emotional awareness.Listen and reflect your teenager’s experiences back to them. By doing this you will increase your teenager’s awareness of his/her thoughts and feelings so that he/she feels more confident and in control.

5. Watch for a negative mindset. Provide reassurance and positive affirmation. Convey a sense that they are valuable and worthwhile individuals at home and at school regardless of their achievements. Encourage them to engage in areas that make them feel capable and confident. Model ways of shifting mindset from negative to positive (encourage a walk outside, a time out, or enjoyable activity). By doing this you will help them replace negative irrational thoughts with positive rational ones so that they develop a healthy self-concept.

With a healthy self-concept and high self-esteem, your teenager will see bumps along the road as opportunities to learn and to challenge themselves. In the face of hurdles, they will grow wiser and stronger.

Rebecca Caldwell, Ph.D.

School Counselor at UHS

415-447-1113