WANTED AND HUNTED

Chapter 6

WANTED AND HUNTED

Yet, Lord, You do not trial us, and leave us alone, but with the trial You give us an escape. My daughter told me that engineer Samir had heard the news and that he was on his way to move us to an apartment in Ma'mourah (a vacation suburb of Alexandria). No one else lived in the building. I could stay there and no one would know I was there. Samir came and transferred me there. Everyone else went back to Cairo, but I was not alone. My Lord kept my company. He was my family and my relatives. His love and kindness were enough for me.

Three days later I heard Your voice wake me up before sunrise to tell me that I should leave Samir’s apartment as soon as possible. I was surprised and cried to You Lord, “Why? Where to? And why leave?” A few hours later my daughter phoned me to tell me that Samir had been arrested by the “State Security” and that I should leave his apartment as soon as possible. What would I do? Where would I go?

You inspired me with a solution, “Go to the monastery and you will find a solution there. ” And, indeed I went there. One of the fathers was very pleased to see me saying, “I was praying that God may inspire you to come here.” Then he added, “When a friend of ours knew what had happened to you he gave us the key to his apartment, which is in a high-rise in the heart of Alexandria over looking the sea. No one lives there now because it is occupied during the summer season only. It is basically used as a resort residence. He is willing for you to stay there as long as you want.”

O my Lord. If I glorify You, thank You and praise You with each breath, I will not do justice to Your providence. If I knelt in front of You till the last moment of my life, it would not be enough. That is the way You are my Lord, You wound and You heal, You crush and You redeem (Job 5:17-18).

At the same time, Father invited me to spend two days with his family in the town of Kalioub (a town 25 km north of Cairo in Lower Egypt). I used to phone my children from time to time to see how they were doing. My younger daughter asked me not to phone them at the neighbor’s home because they would get embarrassed. She told me to call them at my younger sister’s place.

I felt uneasy at my daughter’s request. Why? Her neighbor is a decent woman and so are her children. Every time I phoned for my children there, she was quite obliging. I asked my daughter. “Is this a trick?” She assured me that it was not a trick and that I had become over sensitive about these matters. I arranged a time to call her at my sister's place.

I phoned them from Father's home. I noticed that my son was stretching the conversation pretending that he wanted to be sure that I was all right. My sister was eager to help, yet there was a latent feeling of anxiety that was troubling me. The call ended. It lasted fifteen to twenty minutes. Then I heard the Lord’s voice telling me this was a trap. They duped you and managed to get the caller’s telephone number.

Half an hour later the phone rang and someone wanted to know the name and address of the phone owner under the pretext that there was a parcel sent to the owner from abroad. The parcel had no name or address but just a phone number to call. I immediately realized why my daughter made that request, to call them at my sister’s place. My brother-in-law was attached to the Presidential Palace and definitely was able to trace Father’s phone number. O Lord how stupid they were. They could not wait a few hours to find out the information they wanted through regular channels. Now I knew for sure I had to escape.

I left quickly. My heart was being torn into pieces. My sister, my son, and my two daughters planed a trap for me in collaboration with the State Security! My son, the son of my life! My dear young daughter and my sister! I almost lost my mind. I did not believe what happened. But, it is so written, “Now brother will deliver up brother to death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and cause them to be put to death. And you will be hated by all for My name's sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved” (Matthew 10:21-22)

My Lord I have put my hope in You.

Help me endure these trials and tribulations until I meet You.

I thank You Lord. You strengthen me and You support me.

I always find You at my side.

I thank you Lord, because by the grace You granted me,

To became stronger than the trial.

I thank you Lord, You made me worthy to suffer for Your name.

I went to the monastery of Mari Mina the Miraculous (Mari is a Syriac word equivalent to the words abba or father) to spend three days there without telling anyone about my identity. This monastery is 60 km south- west of Cairo. I used to wake up early to attend Mass, partake in the Communion and spend the rest of the time praying. There I began to compose myself and felt comfortable and tranquil.

On the fourth day I was surprised by Father's brother coming to take me away. I asked him,, “Did the police know your name and address?” He said, “Certainly not. The police did not come. It seems to me that your fears make you imagine things. Let us go and spend sometime at the family home.” Yet his demeanor and the way he spoke made me feel uneasy. What was I to do now? I had no choice. I gathered my belongings, but while I was going to the car I heard Your voice in my heart, “This man came to deliver you to the police.” I became ridden with fright. God, what do I do? Do I leave him and go to Alexandria? He knows my address in Alexandria. I was confused.

I rode in the car with him, raised my heart to our beloved Lord. Lord I do not want to fall into their hands. They are merciless beasts. Would You abandon me to them? Your answer came to me, “Do not worry. I will save you at the right time, so that all may know and glorify My name.” I said, “Lord help my weakness and forgive me. If you really are going to save me give me a clear sign. I am afraid.” It is raining and the clouds are blocking the sun. Let the rain stop now and the clouds dissipate. Let the sun shine. It was not a moment later, when the rain stopped, the clouds disappeared and the sun shone. I thank You Lord. You have filled my heart with your peace.

I noticed that he was driving the car at a low speed, forty to forty five miles an hour on the Cairo/Alexandria desert route. From time to time he would check his rear view mirror. I pretended that I did not grasp what was going on. I asked him, “Why are you driving so slow?” He replied, “The car has some technical problems and I do not want to speed in case it breaks down on the road.” On the way, I heard the voice of the Lord telling me, “Make a stop here, at the farms of St. Bishoy's Monastery and you will see my work.” I asked him to make a stop at the farms of St. Bishoy. At the beginning he objected, but when I prevailed on him, he agreed to stop there for a few minutes only.

There, was the surprise. All the monks knew what had happened had at Father's house and they were all stunned. “Where were you? Did you know that the police had raided Father’s house after midnight and arrested everyone?” It was a severe shock for me, even though I knew it in my heart. I looked at Father's brother chastisingly. He said, “Forgive me. I weakened when I saw them beat the old father so savagely” (This is a tradition in Egypt that elder parents live with their children as members of the same household). I told him that I forgive him and may God forgive him, but now he will have to go alone. He said, “No. Please. You must come with me.” I told him, “do you think I am out of my mind? Shall I go to them by my own will? Your brother asked me to tape my testimony, to mention my name in full and the names of those whom God has used in His work with me. He promised me that it would only be a private documentary, to be kept in the monastery’s library and it would be treated in total confidentiality. The next day the tape was all over Egypt. Today you want to convince me to deliver myself to the police.”

What agony! I sense every bit of bitterness. I feel that I am being torn into pieces. Now I know how one feels when subjected to treason. Forgive me Lord, I am not judging anyone. We are weak. If we do not seek help from You, we would not endure anything. Now I feel the extent of Your pain and torment when You were betrayed by one of Your disciples. Thank you O Beloved Lord, you made me worthy to relive a part of your pains.

Now what do I do?

The monks in St. Bishoy Monastery gathered around me in a circle. One of them said to me, “You must surrender to the police. There is no sense in being on the run. The ring is narrowing around you and there is no escape.” Another said, “I saw you in a vision with blood around your neck. This I interpret as you are bound be killed.” A third said, “Don't you want to be a martyr for the sake of Christ, and Christ himself calls you saying, “Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world?” (Matthew 25:34) I felt as if every one of them was holding a knife tearing at me, without mercy or sympathy.

I reflected, “Maybe they are right and maybe I should surrender.” I opened my handbag, emptied out everything in it and gave it to them, and decided to surrender. I had to go to Alexandria first, gather my belongings so that the police would not find them there and bring aggravation to my host. Also, my elder daughter who happened to be with me had to be taken to her father so that she would avoid what awaits me. I had no doubt about what to expect at the hands of the State Security. Yet I was certain that He who was with the three young men in the furnace will be with me and will save me. And why not? I felt like His pampered daughter.

Father's brother left alone, while I decided to wait with my daughter at the Rest House (an oasis style facility midway on the Cairo/Alexandria desert road) to find a ride to Alexandria. Sure enough a man with a truck stopped for us and gave us a lift to the Rest House. We waited there for an hour trying to get a taxi to Alexandria, then the Greyhound bus came and we headed to Alexandria.

On the way I lifted my heart to You Lord and asked You, “Is this the end? Will I have to surrender to the State Security? You know them. You know their savagery. And I am weak. Overcome my weakness so that I may not endure their torture. Answer me Lord, what do I do?” The answer of my compassionate Lord was, “If I wanted you to surrender I would not have let you know that he is coming to deliver you to their hands. And I told you to visit the farms of St. Bishoy Monastery so that you can learn the truth there, and to give you a sign that I will not let you fall into their hands. No, do not surrender. Go to Alexandria and hide there.”

My Lord, how great You are.

You are the living and compassionate God.

You make me feel as if I were the only one on earth You care for.

You are looking after me, protecting me and defending me.

You make me feel as if I am the only object

Of your attention and shepardship.

How great is Your love O Lord.

I love you because indeed You deserve to be loved.

And because You loved me first.

Let me love You, know You and trust You.

I arrived at Alexandria tired and exhausted, but your peace that is beyond comprehension (Philippians 4:7) filled my heart and my soul. I must change residence and go somewhere else. Someone may yield my address to them and they may come to arrest me, but it is too late now. While I was absorbed in this debate His face lit the darkness for me. I felt safe and decided to spend the night there, then in the morning, look for another place.

The next morning, the Lord led me to a good Christian family who had a small-furnished apartment. We leased it and moved there the same day.

I did not tell the family who I was so as to stay in peace the longest time possible. I called my friends in Cairo. One of them did not believe his ears. He said, “Are you really Nahed? I do not believe myself, we heard that the State Security arrested you and killed you. Stay where you are for a week and do not go out until we come to see you and know everything from you.” I tried to stay at home and did not go out except for emergencies.

One day my landlady rang the doorbell. When I let her in she said to me, “Did you hear about the Moslem woman who believed in Jesus Christ and became a Christian? Her name is Nahed.” I said to her - while I was trembling with fear - that I had heard of her. She said jubilantly, “We bought her tape that she made in which she recorded her testimony recounting how she saw Christ in a vision, and how He talked to her.” I commented, “And you believe her?” She said, “Sure. Certainly. Why would a lady like her, of her status and caliber, from such a powerful family expose herself to such risks unless what she says is factual.”

Glory to thee O Lord. This is enough for me. It is enough for me that You chose me, not because of my righteousness but to shower me with the abundance of Your glory without measure. I thank You, and I will always thank You with every breath. I accompanied her to her apartment and listened to the tape. It was as if I was hearing it for the first time. I relived every moment of it. After we listened to the tape she said to me, “The police know that she is in Alexandria and are searching for her.”

O how awesome are You my Lord!

How great and how wonderful You are!

You are the sweetest thing in the Universe.

I find nothing to compare with You.

You are incomparable.

I was to leave Alexandria and go somewhere else, but I had to wait until someone came to help me move to another place.

Two days later a trusted friend came to see me. He did not believe his eyes when he saw me. He told me, “We heard that you phoned your children at your sisters place. This was planned in cooperation with your children to pick the phone number where you were through the State Security Network in order to locate your place of hiding. Thus they knew the name and address of the phone owner. The police went there at midnight and searched the place thoroughly. When they did not find you, they arrested everyone who lived at that address. They were savagely beaten and tortured. It was under this extreme pressure of beating and torture that Father Boutros’ brother had little choice but to plan to deliver you to the police. He agreed with the police to go to Mari Mina’s Monastery and to deliver you to them. He was accompanied by two unmarked State Security cars that tailed your car. When you stopped at the farms of St. Bishoy Monastery, the unmarked cars preceded you to the Rest House.