Friends of the Bridegroom
Session 1: Deep Friendship with Jesus
I.Discovering the Identity of the Bridegroom:
Jesus often spoke of His death and what would happen once He was gone. On one such occasion He stated that in His absence His dearest friends would long for His nearness and would begin to fast and mourn for His return. These lovesick friends would thus become living messages declaring His life, death, resurrection and certain return. Jesus called them friends of the Bridegroom who would represent a new era in Christianity.
- Importance of the Message:
This is still a fringe message in the Body of Christ; but it won’t always be that way because the Lord has significant purpose for the Friends of the Bridegroom message in our generation. The Lord is inviting us into a new identity where we would see ourselves differently and also see Him differently.
- New Breed of Believer:
Ultimately, this new breed of believer will usher in His return and will serve the final generation as those who are near to the Bridegroom and who declare heart in preparation for His coming. This series looks at those friends as messengers of God who will have intimate friendship with Jesus in the decades before He returns.
- Our Primary Passage:
The primary passage that we will be using to develop this theme is found in the Gospel of Luke because it presents many questions that we will seek to answer in this series.
“They said to him, “John’s disciples often fast and pray…but yours go on eating and drinking.” Jesus answered, “Can you make the friends of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; in those days they will fast.” He told them this parable: “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins…No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins (Lk. 5:33-38).’”
- Who is the Bridegroom?:
Why did Jesus refer to Himself as the Bridegroom and what in the world does this mean for us?
- Who are His friends?:
Why did Jesus refer to His disciples as friends of the Bridegroom and what implications does that have for us?
- What is this new fast?:
What does fasting have to do with the Bridegroom’s absence and what are they supposed to be fasting for when He’s gone?
II.Jesus Desires Friendship:
One thing that we can see clearly from this passage and many others besides it is that the Lord loves friendship. More than liking the idea of friends He is longing for intimate friendship with us and inviting us into it. As those on the invitation list we really want to get a vision for this so that we don’t pass up this incredible opportunity. If we respond to Him rightly and walk in accordance to the invitation then we can enjoy deeper friendship with God all the days of our lives.
“Jesus answered, “Can you make the friends of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; in those days they will fast (Lk. 5:34-35).”
- Jesus Calls His Disciples His Friends:
This is not an isolated passage regarding Jesus’ invitation into friendship; in the Book of John in fact He redefines His relationship with those that had been walking with Him for some time by that point, those that had left everything to follow Him and who daily listened to His teaching and obeyed His commands. He called them friends; opening up to them a deeper measures of partnership in ministry and allowing them to share in God’s purposes as opposed to merely doing tasks for a master.
“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit (Jn. 15:15-16).”
- Understanding What it Means to be a Friend of a Groom:
But Jesus goes further in His pursuit for intimate friendship when He gives his parabolic answer to John’s disciples about those He around Him being friends of the bridegroom. On the day of his wedding a groom surrounds himself with his closest friends, they rejoice and joke around. He chose his groomsmen out of all his friends to be the ones who would be there with him while he gets ready for his big moment. This is a powerful picture that Jesus chose to use in speaking about the nature of relationship He wants with us. It is a ministry of intimate friendship to His heart and ways.
- Friends Do His Will:
An important defining characteristic of Jesus’ friends is the non-negotiable nature of obedience. For Jesus He knows no such friend that doesn’t obey Him and seek to walk in humility with Him. He says that He opposes the proud (1Pe. 5:5), that He sees rebellion like He sees witchcraft (1Sa. 15:23), and that He will judge every person according to what they do and that we will all have to give an account of our actions (2Co. 5:10). It is impossible for us to grow as friends of the bridegroom if we are not fully committed to doing what Jesus says and repenting when we fall short (1Jn. 1:9).
“You are my friends if you do what I command (Jn. 15:14).”
- Friendship with the World Circumvents Friendship:
Of course the polar opposite life pursuit is one that seeks after the things of this life, that makes this world’s pleasures our purpose and is willing to sacrifice things God’s Word says in order to have more of the world and it’s ways. This is what it means to be a friend of the world.
“don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God (Jm. 4:4).”
III.The Fast for Increased Intimacy:
As we’ve been looking at this we have seen that Jesus was questioned about fasting He responded interestingly with a discussion about friendship. He doesn’t do so randomly however, He ties friendship to fasting by redefining the purpose of fasting altogether. Only Jesus could have offered this level of clarity on the subject of friendship with God to take an Old Testament reality like fasting and cause us to look at it from a completely different angle in order to bring it life and fresh new meaning.
- Defining Old Testament Fasting:
Jesus tells a parable of sorts where He refers to the practice of fasting according to Old Testament understanding as old wine that takes place in an old wineskin. This old version is the only version that the apostles would have frame of reference because no one knew that Jesus was about to more or less invent a new kind of fasting. Up until that point fasting was done as an act of humility before God and was used to amplify one’s engagement in intercession especially for corporate realities that required God’s powerful intervention; for instance seeking to move God’s heart to avert a national crisis.
“He told them this parable: “No one tears a piece out of a new garment to patch an old one. Otherwise, they will have torn the new garment, and the patch from the new will not match the old. And no one pours new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins; the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, new wine must be poured into new wineskins (Lk. 5:36-38).’”
- Different Fasts for Different Purposes:
Jesus’ parable also tells us that while He is introducing a new form of fasting there is still a place for the Old Testament version. As we look into Jesus’ new insights in a moment it is important that we do not do away with the Old because these two approaches to fasting each have their value. They are intended to remain separate concepts because each fast serves separate, though related, purposes in the Kingdom.
- Jesus’ New Fast:
Jesus was well aware that John’s disciples fasted as part of their disciplined life so it’s not like these guys were bring Him any new information. Jesus had left out the discipline of fasting off of the list of teachings and practices He called His disciples into on purpose. He was trying to wipe the slate clean so that He could introduce it again in a new light and with a new purpose.
“They said to him, “John’s disciples often fast and pray, and so do the disciples of the Pharisees, but yours go on eating and drinking.” Jesus answered, “Can you make the friends of the bridegroom fast while he is with them? But the time will come when the bridegroom will be taken from them; in those days they will fast (Lk. 5:33-35).”
- Longing for His Nearness:
The new version of fasting could look much like the old one in the outward expression but the focus and anticipated result was to be quite different. This new fasting was to be about relationship and more specifically bridging the gap that would be felt when Jesus would no longer physically be on the Earth. Jesus, invited His friends to fast in His absence because they miss Him and want Him near. This friendship based fasting is a very different approach to fasting, instead of trying to get God to do something in our outward circumstance this fast is about getting God to do something in our heart and to draw us close. The essence of this fast is all about longing for His nearness.
IV.Whole-Hearted Seeking:
This issue of fasting food is an aspect that is overlooked and is often missing in our pursuit of God in a wholehearted way. Jesus defined fasting as an onramp for our hearts to connect with Him and call out to Him in way that cannot be replaced with anything else; He invented a type of fasting just for this purpose. We should now begin to think of wholehearted pursuit as necessarily including fasting.
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart (Je. 29:13).”
“He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind (Lk. 10:27)”
“Come near to God and he will come near to you (Jm. 4:8).”
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