Checklist for Co-Mediating

Checklist for Co-Mediating

Working closely with anyone can be challenging and co-mediation is no different. Here are a few tips for a successful co-mediation experience:

Preparing to Mediate

·  Call each other before the mediation.

Discuss your style and strengths. Exchange comments and impressions from any documents you have reviewed, keeping in mind that your interpretations may differ. Differences are ok. They can be enriching for the parties. Who will bring the forms? Pick up the key?

Make sure you have “day of mediation” contact information for each other (cell phone numbers)

·  Arrive 45 minutes early.

Allow yourselves time enough to become familiar with the setting, meet the observer, coordinate the seating and strategy and take a break before the parties arrive.

·  Strategically use the seating arrangement to maximize opportunities for success.

·  Use the diversity of the mediation team to its maximum advantage.

·  Decide how you want to divide the opening between co-mediators and who will introduce forms.

·  Discuss strategies and level and focus of your interventions.

·  How to handle balance of power between the parties.

·  How to handle complexity of the issues.

·  What is your preferred mediation style?

Are there any style differences that pose a challenge for you? If so, discuss specifics of how you will handle.

·  Would you ever be willing to shuttle?

·  Caucusing

·  How do you feel about using caucuses during the mediation?

·  If you decide you want to caucus during the mediation, how will you make sure both mediators are OK with that decision?

·  Decide beforehand on how you will signal or what you will say to let your co know you wish to break, caucus, etc.

·  Adopt the principle of non-competition between mediators.

·  The lead should shift back and forth between Co’s at different times.

One person should not monopolize the lead or dominate the mediation. Talk with your co-mediator about the specifics of how you want to encourage this. For example, will you verbally check in at various points, take turns at designated times, signal each other, etc.?

·  If you and your Co Disagree:

Discuss what options there are if you experience an important conflict with your co-mediator during the mediation. Talk about your preferences for resolving such a conflict. If the conflict is not negatively impacting the mediation, commit to raising and discussing your experience of conflict during the co-mediator debrief. Commit to a Mediator Caucus if you feel the conflict is negatively impacting the mediation.

Working Together as Co-Mediators

·  Use the Opening Statement to set the right tone for the mediation.

·  Use the word “we” as often as possible to model team behavior.

·  Remember to consult with your co-mediator before making and announcing any important decisions.

·  Call a mediator caucus if you want to bounce ideas, tweak the process or make a change in direction.

·  Discuss sharing responsibilities. How will you communicate during the mediation if you want to change strategies? Look for ways to support each other.

·  Empower your co-mediator. Always treat your co-mediator with respect and consideration. Encourage your co to take the lead when possible. This is a golden opportunity to model empowerment, respect and sharing to the parties.

Debriefing and Learning as Co-Mediators

·  Allow time to de-brief. Figure on at least 30 minutes following the mediation to discuss the mediation. Include the observer in your de-brief. Take care to sandwich your de-brief, starting with what went well, what you would do differently next time and ending on a positive note.

·  Keep an open mind. Even if we have been mediating for years, there is always something new to learn. Each mediation has within it the seed for the next question, or skill, to work on. Ask each other for feedback and support.

·  Be flexible.

·  Have a sense of humor.

·  Be open, honest, and vulnerable with each other.

Be committed to your mutual learning. Be receptive to your co-mediator’s differences and willing to use differences to learn and improve your own mediating.

·  Enjoy each other’s company.

·  Debrief with SFEB ADR Program Manager. Contact Chris and let her know how it went. She learns from your experiences as well, and is always there to provide ongoing support.

Pre-Mediation Tips for Observers:

The Mediator in Training (Observer) plays a critical role in the mediation as well, taking careful notes on the process from a very different perspective. Because they are not actively participating, the observer is in a unique position to watch the dynamics.

·  Remember to not interject yourselves into the mediation. Takes notes and discuss them at lunch or in the de-brief.

·  For the comfort of the parties, try to remain invisible.

·  Observers will be introduced to parties as “Mediators in Training”.