Jamie Teague

Speakers Showcase

11 August, 2012

Outline

Introduction

Attention-Getting Device

  1. Sarah, a four year old girl, decides she wants to make lunch all by herself. So she gets out the bread, jelly, peanut butter and milk.
  2. Although she’s getting older, there are bound to be some spills and messes along the way. Does her mom:

A) Let Sarah make the lunch herself, but guide her and supervise?

B) Scream at her to never do that without “mommy’s help” and send her to time-out? Or

C) Ignore her while sitting on the couch watching television?

III. Sarah’s mom could have reacted in any of these ways, and each response creates a different relationship between the parent and child.

Credibility

  1. After taking a course in child development and reading much of the current research on children and the relationship with their parents, I have learned a lot. And what I have learned points to one conclusion.

Thesis

  1. The relationship between parent and child is extremely important.

Preview

To understand the importance, let’s examine how the parent child relationship can affect the child physically, behaviorally, and emotionally, and let’s begin with the physical.

Body

  1. The relationship between parent and child affects how the child matures physically.
  1. Infancy is an important time in one’s life, and a good parent-child relationship is as essential to the child’s physical needs as food.
  1. Nonorganic failure to thrive, a psychosocial disorder, is usually present by eighteen months of age and occurs when parents act cold and distant or impatient and hostile.
  2. Laura Berk, author of the textbook Infants, Children, and Adolescents, states that “if infants develop Nonorganic failure to thrive, their bodies look wasted, and they are withdrawn and apathetic” (Berk).
  3. The image on the screen depicts a Nonorganic failure to thrive infant before and after hospitalization.
  4. Even though a mother may feed her child regularly, give him a warm home and other necessities, without love and care the child can still waste away physically.
  5. We have long known how important such nurturing is for infants. There have been many different studies done about how important physical nurturing is.
  6. There was one study done by a collaboration of doctors about the touching or stimulation given to preterm babies.
  7. “The touched-and-moved babies averaged a 47% greater weight gain per day [than those lacking the stimulation].
  8. They were also more active and alert during sleep/wake behavior observations.
  9. [They also] had a hospital stay six days shorter than those who weren’t touched in the same manner” (Tiffany).
  1. The parent-child relationship doesn’t only affect the child’s physical health and maturation as an infant, but during childhood as well.
  1. Preschoolers with extremely stressful home lives are more susceptible to respiratory and intestinal illnesses, as well as more unintentional injuries, such as sports injuries and bike crashes, than others (Berk).
  2. It is also true according to Laura Berk, that “extreme emotional deprivation can interfere with the production of Growth Hormones and lead to psychosocial dwarfism” (Berk).
  3. Psychosocial dwarfism is a growth disorder that appears between ages two and fifteen.
  4. Characteristics of this disorder include shortened height and immature skeletal age- which is when the bones are smaller and more brittle than they should be.
  5. Other characteristics include serious adjustment problems that can range from difficulty learning in school to trouble making friends.
  6. The picture on the screen shows the dimensions of two boys with psychosocial dwarfism compared with a boy of average stature.

Transition: As we can see, the parent-child relationship has an impact on the child physically from birth through childhood. Not only does the relationship with a parent affect the child physically, but it affects them behaviorally as well.

  1. The parent-child relationship can greatly influence how the child behaves.
  1. For example, how the parents discipline their child plays a big role in how the child will behave.
  1. An often-cited study by Dr. Diana Baumrind, research psychologist, found that “when parents’ requests are accompanied by warmth and affection, children tend to cooperate” (Baumrind).
  2. In contrast, if parents discipline their child harshly and impatiently, the child typically will refuse and rebel.
  3. If parents often are angry and quick to yell and punish, they likely will produce an out-of-control child.
  4. I’m sure many of you have seen the now-classic movie “The Breakfast Club,”which portrays the personalities of five kids in high school detention.
  5. The main character, a rebellious teennamedJohn Bender, briefly describes what his life at home is like.
  6. After he describes his quick-to-anger father, you begin to better understand why he is so insubordinate and has such behavioral issues.
  7. Although it is just a movie and the character is fictional, it reflects psychological findings. How parents treat their children affects them not only during childhood but throughout adolescence.
  1. The relationship between parents and their children doesn’t just affect whether the child is cooperative or difficult, but it also influences whether they are shy or sociable.
  1. Parents who listen to children without judging or belittling them will likely nurture a more sociable child who will feel free to share his feelings with his parents.
  2. The implications are profound. As Yen-Chun Lin, child psychologist from Pennsylvania State University writes, “Once children talk freely and feel valued by parentswhen playing, they may be willing to share things with them and connect with parents more often in daily lives” (Lin).
  3. On the other hand, if parents make judgments about their child and belittle him, the child will likely be afraid to share things with his parents and not only be more reticent and guarded but also develop a less trusting personality.
  4. For instance, let’s say little Johnny comes home from the third grade and tells his parents about the 86% he got on his history test.
  5. You see, he is extremely happy about this grade because he thought the test was very hard.
  6. However when he tells his parents, they say, “Well Johnny, that’s terrible! Only ‘A’ papers are acceptable in this house.”
  7. Most likely Johnny won’t be sharing his grades as often with his parents anymore, and when he gets below an A on a test or paper, he will be afraid that his parents will find out.
  8. You can see how important it is for parents to encourage their children, and not knock them down every time they make a mistake or do something wrong.
  9. This is not to say that these are the only factors creating shy versus outgoing children, but it is an important element impacting these behaviors.

Transition: The research is clear; parents’ actions can significantly influence the physical and psychosocial development of their children. Lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the parent-child relationship has a big impact on the child emotionally.

  1. The relationship between parent and child strongly impacts their emotional development.
  1. A major element of the parent-child relationship is caregiving since it’s related to what experts refer to as “attachment security”, a theory of connection between children and their caregivers.
  1. According to Kendra Cherry, author of the article “Attachment Styles” from the journal Psychology, those who respond to their child promptly, consistently, and appropriately, such as speaking in softer tones, while holding them lovingly create a secure attachment with the child. This means that these infants use the parent as a secure base, which is a good thing (Cherry.)
  2. On the other hand, a disorganized attachment, according to Cherry, reflects the greatest insecurity. A disorganized attachment is a lack of clear attachment behavior. The parents of a child with a disorganized attachment would most likely be inconsistent, awkward, and possibly hostile or impatient (Cherry).
  3. As Kendra Cherry explains, children with this attachment style feel both comforted and frightened by the parent and so there is some confusion.
  4. Let’s say a mother has a one-year-old baby that never seems to want to be held. Whenever she does hold the child, he screams, fights, and resists.
  5. As a result, the mother inconsistently responds to her child’s distress signals and is awkward when confronting him.
  6. Now let’s look five years down the road when the child is six. The boy seems to take on a parental role and acts as a caregiver towards his mom. For instance, he is more concerned with making sure his mother is okay than himself, and that she has gotten enough food, sleep, etc.
  7. His mother still isn’t quite sure how to respond to her child and easily becomes impatient with him. Those are key signs of having a disorganized attachment.
  8. We can reiterate here that it is not simply nature that influences a child’s development, but nurture as well.
  9. As you can see, the way parent and child assume their roles with one another impacts a child’s development. The way a parent treats the child also, as we might suspect, has a huge impact.
  1. A child who is not treated well often develops low self-esteem and depression (Berk).
  2. Low self-esteem can result, as well, when parents never allow the child do anything for himself.
  1. Think back to the beginning of this speech when I gave the example about Sarah.
  2. If her mom chose the option to yell at her for trying to make lunch on her own and sent her to time out, Sarah would probably develop low self-esteem.
  3. She would feel ashamed and guilty, and therefore probably wouldn’t try to make something on her own again.
  4. If Sarah’s mom had ignored her though, Sarah wouldn’t develop a sense of pride because her mom wouldn’t be there encouraging her and praising her along the way.
  5. Lastly, if Sarah’s mom had allowed her to make lunch but assisted and guided her along the way, these actions would help Sarah develop a high self-esteem, which is essential in the pre-school years when children must learn to master many new skills. By assisting and guiding Sarah, her mother shows that she is worth her time and attention, and that she has faith in her ability to learn and do.

D. Not only does involvement at home help lead a child in the right direction, but involvement in school does as well.

  1. Many of you probably had parents who came to every one of your soccer games, dance recitals, or track meets. Or perhaps one of your parents liked to do crafts and helped you make Halloween costumes and valentines boxes every year. Either way, your parent was involved in your life.
  2. These are the things that connect parent and child and build a great relationship.
  3. The bar graph on the screen depicts how parental involvement with school relates to school accomplishments. As we can see, parental involvement positively correlates to doing well in school as well.

Transition: The emotional development of a child is one of the most important aspects of the parent-child relationship. Sensitive caregiving, promoting high self-esteem, and parental involvement can help the child become emotionally stable.

Conclusion

Refer to Introduction

  1. Sarah’s mom may have punished her for making lunch, ignored her, or encouraged and helped her. As we have learned though, each reaction from her mom changes the relationship between them and can have significant, lasting effects on Sarah.

Summary and Appeal

  1. Many of you will be moms and dads someday. Or maybe some of you will become teachers working with young kids. Perhaps you will be an aunt, uncle, godparent, or simply often be around a best friend’s child. In any case, it is important for you to know how significant the parent-child relationship is. The relationship you have with a child who views you as a significant other in his or her life can affect him or her physically, behaviorally and emotionally.
  2. I am not telling you all this to try and preach to youon how to raise kids in terms of values or principles. I am simply giving you the facts on how the parent-child relationship affects the child.
  3. After all, to repeat an often-heard quote, “A child doesn’t care how much you know until he knows how much you care.”

Works Cited

Baumrind, Diana. “Current patterns of parental authority.” Developmental Psychology 4.1

(1971): 1–103. Web. 02 Aug. 2012.

Berk, Laura. Infants, Children, and Adolescents. Boston: Pearson Education, Inc., 2005. Book.

Cherry, Kendra. “Attachment Security.” Psychology (2012): 1-9. About.com.Web. 19 July 2012.

Lin, Yen-Chun. “Improving Parent-Child Relationships Through Block Play.” Education 130.3

(2010): 461-469. Academic Search Complete. Web. 20 Mar. 2012.

Tiffany Field, Saul Schanberg , etc. “Tactile/Kinesthetic Stimulation Effects on Pre-term

Neonates.” Pediatrics 77.5(1986): 654-58. Web. 02 Aug. 2012.

Vaden-Kiernan, Nancy. “Parents’ Reports of School Practices to Involve families.”

National Center for Education Statistics (1996). Institute of Education Sciences. Web. 10 Apr. 2012.