Helpful approaches for working with students who frequently defy or oppose. *

“The educator must have hope. Hope comes from understanding and understanding comes from empathy, but when teaching oppositional/defiant children, empathy does not come easy.” (Hall)

Why are conflicts between students and teachers so frequent?

Social power struggles must always involve two parties. If you experience frequent power struggles, it may help to consider thefollowing factors.

  1. Students who engage in frequent conflict often are not academically or socially successful. Engaging teachers in power struggles may successfully deflect attention away from their limited academic skills. These students may also lack basic pro-social skills that would assist them in overcoming school difficulties. For example, they may not know how to ask for help on assignments, they may lack the capacity to calmly talk through a problem with a peer, or are unable to negotiate with a teacher to get an extension of an incomplete assignment. Fundamentally, they often lack the skills of negotiation.
  2. Students may also adopt an oppositional or defiant stance toward teachers as a deliberate strategy because such a stance had worked for them in the past in the form of reduced expectations or elevated social standing with peers. When students have developed a long-standing habit of defiance, teachers will have to devote more time and energy investing in specific strategies to turn that behavior around.
  3. Many students who frequently engage teachers in power struggles may experience little control in other areas of their life. They have a need for control. Many students with disabilities have little control over any aspect of their lives. Students that have overwhelming responsibilities in the home or parents who are experiencing significant stress may feel that they have little control in affecting outcomes in their daily lives. Teachers who recognize this need can provide opportunities for students to have some control and contribute.
  4. When we get pulled into power struggles with students, we may not recognize that we are often reacting to student provocation. Understanding the cycle of conflict is helpful and upon close examination of situations, it is possible to see that for each step that the student escalates the situation, the teacher responds in turn, thereby adding to the escalation. When teachers respond to yelling with yelling, and taking a threatening posture in response to a similar student posture, the teacher is allowing the student to control the situation.
  5. If a teacher expects a student to be defiant because of a student’s reputation as such, the teacher may jump to conclusions and misinterpret behavior as defiant when it actually is not intended to be confrontational. Responding to such incidents with reprimands or criticisms, the teacher may start the confrontation.

What is the most important teacher action in responding to students who defy or oppose?

The most important teacher actions in responding to conflict are to stay outwardly calm, not take the situation personal and maintain one’s professionalism. It is natural to experience anger, but you must squelch angry outburst and other displays of anger or you will escalate the conflict and put the student in the driver’s seat. React in a calm, objective and business-like manner, and impose consistent, reasonable, and fair consequences. Show all students that you will not engage in power struggles, and model the very behavior you expect from them in a similar situation.

When teachers are able to stay calm in response to student provocation, they often see additional benefits:

  • With time, students typically become less defiant, learning that they no longer experience the reward of getting teachers to lose their cool.
  • Dealing with defiance efficiently and quickly, power struggles become less frequent, leaving more time for instruction.
  • Relationships with all students improve.

Approaches and Strategies that typically trigger opposition and defiance.

  • Sharply worded directives—especially “no’s” and “don’ts.”
  • Idle time
  • Emotional displays (body language, gestures, facial grimaces, yelling) that convey disapproval.
  • Backing a student into a corner with ultimatums and “or else” type directives.
  • Embarrassing the student
  • Overtly public correction

We know what doesn’t work:

  • Harsher and more frequent punishments
  • Long term goals and rewards
  • Surprises and sudden changes to routines
  • Threats of punishment
  • Strongly worded and highly emotional praise

Approaches and Strategies that Prevent Defiance.

  1. Build caring, respectful and trusting relationships.

2 X 10. Spend 2 minutes each day for 10 consecutive days talking with a student about their strengths and interests. The time must be one-on one and must focus on the student and what they are good at, or what they like.

  1. Master the art of limited choices.
  2. Scaffold and support time management
  3. Notice early signs of defiance and interact.
  4. Adjust activities, schedules and routines when the going looks rough—careful—see #8.
  5. Adjust tasks and instruction to match student’s instructional level.
  6. Give power in the form of increased responsibilities and deferring to the student’s opinion.
  7. Avoid sudden changes and surprises.
  8. Establish and communicate removal procedures upfront.
  9. Avoid power struggles at all cost through defusing strategies.
  10. Clean the slate frequently and avoid grudges.
  11. Be calm, be brief and be gone.

Specific Strategies

  1. Proactive cooperation. When defiance is predicted engage the student in a task or tasks they are likely to complete without argument.
  2. Reminisce/Appeal to good side. Remind the student of a recent success. (“Last week, you were able to finish the entire assignment and you received a B+”)
  3. Agreement: Agree with the student. (You are right, I can’t make you do something. The question is whether you will turn this around, make a good choice and end this struggle) this might also be humorous: (In response to a student suggesting you have coffee breath, “Yes, my salary is so inadequate, I’ve taken a second job as Starbuck’s taster.” )
  4. Humorous reminders. Offer a reminder of expected behavior in a humorous, but non-sarcastic manner.
  5. Offer information. Without telling the student what to do, offer information about the situation at hand (Markers will dry up when lids are not put on tight or When we cap markers tightly, they last a long time)
  6. Describe the problem. Without telling the student what to do, describe the problem at hand, “There is still a lot of trash on the floor and it is time to leave for lunch.”
  7. Redirection. When defiance in predicted, engage the student in another alternative activity, preferably a preferred activity, to complete prior to the task at hand.
  8. Use reframing. See something positive in the student’s behavior and use this information to calm yourself. You may also begin your restatement of the directive with a statement that refers to a potential positive motive on the part of the student or a positive aspect of their behavior.
  9. Limited choices. Offer alternatives that are acceptable to you. (“You may do the odd or even problems, your choice.”
  10. Behavior Contracts. Set up a “when . . . . then” contingency using a replacement behavior for the defiant behavior you typically see or for a problem behavior that begins the behavior chain that results in opposition or defiance

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Credits and Resources

Boytnon, M. (2005) Working Successfully with Difficult and Disruptive Students. Bellevue, WA: Bureau of Education & Research.

Charney, R. S. (2002). Teaching Children to Care: Classroom Management for Ethical and Academic Growth. Greenfield, MA: North East Foundation for Children.

Mendler, A. (1997).Power Struggles: Successful Techniques for Educators, Rochester, NY: discipline Associates.

Wright, J. (Accessed 05/01/2009). Working with Defiant Kids: Teacher Communication Tools.

McIntyre, T. Accessed 3/01/08 from :

Application Exercises. Directions: Read each scenario. Develop a statement/action using the specific strategy (from previous section) identified by the number in parentheses at the end of each scenario.

  1. A teacher tells the students to take out their math workbooks. Josh looks very tense and potentially explosive. (1, 5, 6 or 7)
  2. A student or small group of students want to bring their Game Boys on the field trip bus.(9)
  3. Chad says to Miss Fitzsimmons "Your hair looks messy." (3)
  4. Ella is having difficulty motivating herself to begin a task. (5 or 6)
  5. Latisha refuses to put on her coat to go outside to collect water samples. (1, 5 or 7)
  6. Students want to use markers on newsprint as they work at the walls and on their desks. The markers will bleed through.(9)
  7. At times, the nature of group activities in Ms. Rashad's class results in noisy behavior, particularly for some of the students. Some students need more quiet to work well. (6)
  8. Many students are on-tasks and working hard. Gerald is doodling. (you choose)
  9. Two boys are arguing, ready to come to blows. (1, 7or 8)
  10. Students are very reluctant to write in their journals each day. Once they get going, they appear motivated and interested, but often resist getting out their journals in the first place.(1 or 7)
  11. Martzia is not having a good day. Although she has turned in great work in the past two weeks, today she doesn't have her work and is now resisting beginning the in-class assignment. (2, 5 or 8)
  12. Most of the class is noisy and rambunctious, out of their seat and yelling. (7 or you choose)
  13. Students are beginning to form groups for the map project. Many students quickly move themselves and their belongings to their work site and immediately begin organizing for the task. Two boys are chatting instead of moving into groups. (4 or 8)
  14. Sam has his toys out of his pack and at his desk. Last time this happened you tried to take them away, and Sam ended up struggling and biting you. (9)
  15. Tasha yells out an answer. (4 or 8)
  16. A student (not from your class or grade) ignores your direction in the hallway. You ask another student her name and grade and at your first break, you go searching for her. You find her in Mrs. Conner’s room. What do you say/do?
  17. As you move, scan and interact with the lunch line, two students report that a student cut in line. You didn’t’ see it, but your gut tells you they are being truthful. What do you say or do?

PBIS IndianaCenter on Education & Lifelong Learning and The Equity Project Indiana University 2010

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