What you need for today 5-28:

1.  Fill out planner

2.  Materials out

a.  Notebooks

b. Pencil

3.  Put everything else away and under your desk.

Bell work:

What is the difference between wordiness and redundancy?

Redundancy-taking out repetitiveness

Wordiness-Taking out extra words

-Words that are repetitive:

http://leo.stcloudstate.edu/style/wordiness.html

Patterns of Wordiness

As you read the following list, consider which patterns are typical of your writing:

· Omit the filler phrases "it is," "there is," and "there are" at the beginning of sentences; these often delay the sentence's true subject and verb.

·  Wordy

It is expensive to upgrade computer systems.

·  Concise

Upgrading computer systems is expensive.

· Change "is" or "was" when they occur alone to a strong verb.

·  Wordy

A new fire curtain is necessary for the stage.

·  Concise

The stage needs a new fire curtain.

· Replace "is," "are," "was," "were," or "have + an -ing word" to a simple present or past tense verb.

·  Wordy

The South African government was undergoing significant changes.

·  Concise

The South African government underwent significant changes.

· Replace "should," "would," or "could" with strong verbs.

·  Wordy

The environmental council could see several solutions.

·  Concise

The environmental council saw several solutions.

· Substitute strong verbs for "-tion" and "-sion" words whenever possible.

·  Wordy

I submitted an application for the job.

·  Concise

I applied for the job.

· Use a colon after a statement preceding a sentence of explanation, and leave out the beginning of the next sentence

·  Wordy

The theater has three main technical areas. These areas are costumes, scenery, and lighting.

·  Concise

The theater has three main technical areas: costumes, scenery, and lighting.

· Combine two closely related short sentences by omitting part of one.

·  Wordy

The director is concerned about problems. Typical problems may occur with lighting, sound, and props.

·  Concise

The director is concerned about typical problems with lighting, sound, and props.

-exercises from Purdue Owl-Whoever gets the most correct wins a sticker!!!

*Remember, we don’t want to share answers, because then you don’t have as good of a chance of winning.

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/exercises/6/9/24

Revise the following paragraph for wordiness:

To such people the murder mystery is realistic fantasy. It is realistic because the people in the murder mystery are as a general rule believable as people. They are not just made up pasteboard figures. It is also realistic because the character who is the hero, the character who solves the murder mystery, solves it not usually by trial and error and haphazard methods but by exercising a high degree of logic and reason. It is absolutely and totally essential that people who enjoy murder mysteries have an admiration for the human faculty of logic.

http://www2.gsu.edu/~accerl/wordiness/WO.html

List of redundant examples:

General Examples of Wordiness
absolutely essential
according to
all of
are connected with
as long as
at all times
at this time
despite the fact that
due to the fact that
few in number
first and foremost
for the production of
for the purpose of
for the reason that
has (or needs) to
if�, then �
in accordance with
in an attempt (effort) to
in connection with
in order for
in order to
in point of fact
in reference to
in (or with) regard to
Questions:
http://grammar.ccc.
commnet.edu/GRAMMAR
/quizzes/nova/nova8.htm / Better Phrases or Words
essential
per
all/each
relate to
if
always
now (or currently)
even though
since (or because)
few
first
to produce
for (or to)
since (or because)
must (or should)
if�, �
according to
to
about
for
to
in fact
about
regarding (or about)