Writer: ______

Editor: ______

Revising The Names Essay

REVISE FOR UNITY

  • Highlight the “hook” in yellow (might be more than one sentence) and give at least one piece of feedback. (This can be positive or contain constructive criticism).
  • Highlight the description of the writer’s name (first, middle and last) in pink. Do they skillfully describe their name and the reasons that led to that choice? Give at least one piece of feedback. (Positive with constructive criticism)
  • Highlight in green the reflection given by the writer about how they feel about their name. Do they make “the circle of life”? Does it adequately wrap-up the story of their name and how they feel about it? Give at least one piece of feedback.

REVISE FOR FIGURATIVE LANGUAGE

  • Underline in a blue colored pencil at least three pieces of figurative language/sensory detail. Notate if you can’t find three pieces and give them at least one piece of feedback on any weak language with suggestions on how to improve it.

REVISE FOR DICTION

  • Circle all “be” verbs (am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being) and limit to no more than one or two per paragraph.
  • Circle the words like, good, nice. get, got, very, really, a lot. Give suggestions for precise words.
  • Slash through contractions, slang or anything that detracts from the essay.
  • Circle weak verbs and adjectives and give suggestions for stronger words.
  • Circle the word “said” so the writer can replace it with a stronger word.

REVISE FOR PROPER GRAMMAR

  • Put an X on the pronoun “you” unless it is a quote. The writer should avoid speaking directly to the reader.
  • Find any grammatical errors (punctuation, spelling, sentence fragments) and notate these for the writer.
  • Notate how the writer has started each sentence. No two sentences in a paragraph should start with the same word.
  • Notate if they do not have a variety of sentences (for example – all simple with few or no compound or complex sentences).

Give your writer an overall impression of their paper. What did you like most? Where do they need to add more? What is their biggest weakness? Tell them as much as you can!

WRITER REFLECTION:

  • How would you summarize your feedback?
  • What are three areas you can focus on to improve your work?