How to Encourage Your Student in Track & Cross Country
As parents, you all love your children and want what is best for them. You appreciate, respect, and support their desire to explore and discover all of their skills. When watching your children pursue their athletic goals, it is common to become emotionally involved with their progress and performances. This is a great and exciting phenomenon. However, unless you have been involved with a similar pursuit, it is unlikely that anyone has ever shared how to approach this effectively. Following are tips to help you understand what your son/daughter is undertaking and how to help them gain personal satisfaction from their sport.
First, parents must understand the sport of distance running. Your child has selected a sport, or in some cases the sport has selected them, that is extremely difficult in many ways. They are asking themselves to teeter the line between supreme mental/physical effort and a complete collapse of the same. Gauging this effort perfectly brings the ultimate performance. Error, ever so slightly in either direction by giving too much or too little can cause a breakdown and perceived failure. Very little margin of error exists. Please try to understand what your child is putting themselves through each and every time they choose to compete. Rest assured that they will 'give their all' in every race. They do not have a choice. Unlike most team sports, there is no 'blending in unnoticed' with an effort less than 100%. If they are not in a position you had hoped for them, it is not due to lack of effort. They might be racing an event that is not best suited to their skills for developmental purposes. They might be in a phase of conditioning in which they are tired. They might be racing under a plan that requires patience early in a race. Even the slightest virus can drastically affect their effort. Or, their performance might be reflecting their current talent/fitness level. Regardless, rest assured that they are giving their all. On top of this daunting task, they do not know where that magical line of effort is placed until they edge over it and get into scary unforgiving territory. Finally, your child revisits this precarious situation over and over with each race. It is a physically and mentally draining chain of events. Once they learn to control this process, they will have become much stronger, tougher individuals in many areas of their lives.
A common parental question is "How do I support my child?" "What can I yell to them when they are racing?" First of all, ask. Find out from them what helps. Most will reply that they don't want anything said, but it differs from individual to individual. Some like encouragement. Some like specific direction such as "keep you chin down", "relax your arms", etc. The truth is that most will be so focused that they will hear very little, if anything at all. As a coach I have learned that athletes are far more likely to hear you if you speak to them calmly without shouting. This is different from the mass screaming of other coaches, teammates, and families that blur into background noise. Of course, as hard as it may be, there is always the option of enjoying their effort through observation only. If you do cheer, the single overriding factor is that it must be positive. This sounds like common sense, but when the mind is riding the fragile line explained earlier, it can process most anything into a negative. "Get up there" is not heard as a positive push at this point, but rather a "you are doing poorly, why can't you succeed?" A shout of "come on", instead of being seen as positive reinforcement as intended can be heard as sarcastic. Remember, they are in the process of holding themselves and all their previous workouts and efforts accountable in those precious few minutes. After a race, your unconditional love is all that is needed. Expect some moodiness at times. After such a physical and mental release they can be spent and even irrational. Due to the nature of the sport and the never ending space for improvement, athletes are rarely completely satisfied. A great new personal best to spectators is just the start to bigger and better things to the athlete.
My goal as a coach is to teach the sport as a skill just like any other athletic skill. In many ways it should be no different than shooting basketball free throws; practiced and performed until perfected. Just as an athlete should not tie their self-worth into missing a free throw, they should not become overly emotionally involved with a sub-par distance running effort. I will try to teach athletes to maintain an even keel toward performances without too high of highs or too low of lows. Parents can help by keeping your child's performances and participation in perspective.
Your sons/daughters have put a lot of themselves into their workouts and races. They have given up countless hours to attend workouts and log training runs. Many have completed voluntary workouts six days a week much of the year and have braved summer/winter temperatures routinely in single digits with a few runs below zero. Although they are striving for excellence, do not let them lose sight of the merit of the journey. Help them by acknowledging their dedication and work ethic. This is all that is asked by most student-athletes, recognition that they are becoming more focused, competitive, and well-rounded individuals through their participation. With continued commitment, “most” will see a level of excellence, but “all” will continue to grow into young adults in which we can all be proud.
I grew up as the son of a head track coach. If any kid should have had pressure from his dad, it should have been me. But he only said two different phrases to me before races. One was “Stay relaxed” and the second was “Have fun!” Now, I was usually too nervous to do either, but my parents never put pressure on me because they understood that I put enough, sometimes too much, pressure on myself. It will be very similar with many of your students. Believing in themselves and having confidence going into races is the greatest gift we can give them. And afterwards, no matter how they ran…telling them you are proud of the way they fought, competed, persevered, etc…and that you love them, always keep racing in perspective.
As the season begins, this overview is intended to provide you with an idea of what your child will experience during their competitive season and how to support them throughout. As a coach, my goal is to provide the best opportunity & experience possible and truly have each individual’s best interests at heart with every action or decision. Please do not hesitate to contact me for any reason to discuss any way I can help your child with their athletic pursuit. After all, we are after the same result!
Adam Walters
XC/Distance Coach – Orange High School