Vice-Chairmen: Charles Walker MP, John Hemming MP, Jon Cruddas MP

Chair: David Lammy MP

Vice-Chairmen: Charles Walker MP, John Hemming MP, Jon Cruddas MP

Secretary: Annette Brooke MP Treasurer: Andrew Selous MP

‘The Fathers’ Journey’: a survey of help-seeking behaviour by separating and recently separated fathers

Ross Jones, Adrienne Burgess & Vahsti Hale

28 April 2012

The findings presented in this paper were gathered via an on-line survey designed to capture fathers’ experiences across the transition to separation with a focus on help-seeking behaviour. The aim was to identify the formal services these men were already approaching, with a view to suggesting how information and support might be delivered via these or other ‘touch points’. Other research has identified few services for separating and separated fathers[1] and it seems likely that when this population is not well supported or advised this will impact negatively on the financial and other support they can provide to their children and their children’s mothers.

Carried out between 15th April and 15th May in 2011, the survey was divided into two sections, asking fathers first about their search for professional support for a range of issues in the year leading up to separation and then in the year afterwards. To have included detailed questioning on informal support would have made the questionnaire too long. However, that important topic also needs to be investigated.

The sample consisted of 295 respondents directed to the survey through the Families Need Fathers and Fatherhood Institute websites. The survey was also advertised in the electronic-newsletters of both organisations and the FNF forum.

The respondents who came to the survey via Families Need Fathers are likely to have experienced more highly conflicted separations than the average. This may not be the case for those who approached via the Fatherhood Institute website, since that organisation does not specialise in families facing separation. However, overall, individuals experiencing particularly difficult separations may be more likely than the average to have completed the survey.

While, for the reasons above, the survey cannot claim to be statistically representative of the general population of separated/separating fathers, the information gained can provide pointers to areas to focus on to improve and enhance service provision for these men.

We now turn to the issues addressed in the survey. Were they relevant to this population of separating/separated fathers? How many sought support for them? And where did they look?

Section 1: Factors Concerning Adults

The couple relationship: problems experienced and advice sought

Respondents were asked about difficulties in their relationship with their child’s mother: 89.2% reported that they had sensed difficulties before they separated, and of this group, 62.3% said they had sensed difficulties for more than a year prior.

Figure 1: How long before you separated did you sense that there were difficulties in your relationship? (of those who had sensed difficulties prior to separation)

239 recorded responses, 56 missing responses

Of those who had sensed difficulties prior to separation, 62.6% said that they had not sought professional advice/guidance/support for relationship issues; and just over one third (37.4%) had done so. Of these, in the year prior to separation, 48.1% had consulted RELATE, 39.5% their doctor and 30.9% a mediation service. Solicitors had been consulted by 29.6%.; and both Citizens’ Advice and Families Need Fathers by 16.0%. Help had also been sought from their children’s school (12.3%). Only 4.9% had spoken to their local Children’s Centre; and fewer than 2% had gone to Family Lives or Gingerbread.

In the post separation year, help-seeking for relationship problems was substantially greater, with 59.2% of the sample looking for professional help. Of these, 63.2% approached their solicitor and 48% their doctor. Other agencies addressed included Families Need Fathers (48.8%), a mediation service (43.2%), Relate (28.8%) and Citizens Advice (20.8%). Again, perhaps surprisingly, schools figured with16.8% of the 59.2% of fathers who had sought help for relationship problems looking to their child’s school for this. It is likely that some individuals sought support from a number of agencies. Today, use of mediation services is likely to be greater given that in many cases mediation is now mandatory before application to a court.

Employment: problems experienced and advice sought

The employment behaviour of separated/separating fathers should be of substantial interest to government and employers. In the year prior to separation 40.5% of our sample reported that they changed their working patterns. This percentage increased in the year following separation, with 52.5% reporting that they changed their working patterns. Comparison with non-separating fathers of the same age and circumstances would be ideal, though is not available. However, we suspect that these rates are very high.

The nature of these changes is of particular interest (Figure 2 and Table 1). In the year prior to separation 30% of men who changed their working patterns said they had increased their working hours while in the year after separation only 11.4% reported an increase.

By contrast, in the year following separation 16.7% of respondents who had changed work patterns reduced their working hours whereas only 11.7% had done so in the year prior. One cannot determine from this simple survey whether the substantial increase in working hours prior to separation was in response to family tensions or a contributing factor to them (though we may expect the relationship to be reciprocal in many instances).

Nor can we know the reasons for the marked reduction in working hours after separation, which may be indicative of factors such as stress or increased pressure placed upon a father’s time as he tries to balance work commitments with parenting arrangements post-separation.[2]

Figure 2: Types of changes made by those who changed their work patterns (respondents were invited to select as many as applied)

Table 1: Changes in employment prior to and following separation

Year prior to separation (%) / Year following separation (%)
Changed position within the same company / 24.4 / 18.4
Moved to a different employer / 45.6 / 34.2
Became self employed / 13.3 / 10.5
Took paid/ unpaid leave / 11.1 / 11.4
Was signed off work due to illness / 11.1 / 19.3
Became unemployed / 18.9 / 32.5
Reduced working hours / 11.1 / 16.7
Increased working hours / 30 / 11.4
Other / 32.2 / 16.7

Year prior to separation: 90 recorded responses, 205 missing responses

Year following separation: 114 recorded responses, 181 missing responses

Fathers who had changed their working patterns were less likely to move to a position in the same company in the post-separation year than in the pre-separation year: down from 24.4% pre-separation to 18.4% post-separation. They were also less likely to move to a different employer (45.6% in the year prior to separation compared with 34.2% in the year afterwards). Future research could usefully compare such work-pattern changes with those of non-separating fathers in the same age cohorts.

There was a strong correlation between separation and men’s absence from work through illness: 19.3% of the 52.5% of men who changed their working patterns after separation (8.2% of the whole sample) report being signed off work due to illness during that year. This figure was double that found in the year prior to separation, when 11.1% of the 40.5% who changed their working patterns (4.1% of the whole) were signed off from work due to illness.

Furthermore, 32.5% of the 52.5% of men who changed their working patterns in the year after separation (13.9% of the respondents to this question) became unemployed during this period. Again this was considerably higher than before separation, when 7% of the respondents (18.9% of the 40.5% of fathers who reported changing their working patterns) became unemployed.

These figures are extraordinarily high: what they amount to is 11% of the fathers who responded to the employment questions (and most did so) becoming unemployed or being signed off for illness in the pre-separation year and 22.1% in the year post[3]. These figures represent enormous costs to the State and to employers. For employers costs are compounded by the movement of substantial numbers of fathers to different employers over these two time periods: almost half of the 40.5% of fathers who changed work patterns in the year prior to separation moved to a different employer, as did just over a third of the 52.5% of fathers who changed work patterns in the year after separation.

Given the high numbers of the men who did not seek employment advice during those two years (70.6% of respondents in the year pre-separation and 59% in the year post-separation) it seems that many who find themselves facing employment crises are unlikely to be receiving the information and support they need to maintain themselves in employment – and continue to support their children financially. This is compounded by the finding that just 5.2% of respondents to the ‘who did you seek guidance about employment issues from’ question in the year prior to separation and 10.8% of respondents to this question in the year following separation sought such advice from anyone outside of their immediate social/professional circle (Table 2). Fathers both prior to and following separation were far more likely to turn to family or friends[4] than to professionals for support with employment: 34.6% of respondents in the year prior to separation and 41.5% of respondents in the year following separation. This may not be a productive strategy, particularly where social capital is low.

Table 2: Sources of Employment Support used by Fathers (respondents were invited to select as many as applied)

Year prior to separation (%) / Year following separation (%)
I did not seek (employment) advice from anyone / 70.6 / 59
Family / 16.9 / 20.3
Friend / 17.7 / 21.2
Colleague / 8.9 / 11.3
Manager/Employer / 10.9 / 19.4
Employment/Training service (eg. recruitment agency, Job Centre Plus, Connexions) / 5.2 / 10.8
Other / 4.8 / 3.2

Year prior to separation: 248 recorded responses, 47 missing responses

Year following separation: 222 recorded responses, 73 missing responses

These results suggest that there is considerable scope for separating and recently separated fathers to be more adequately supported with employment. Whether these fathers were unaware of the professional support available to them, unhappy with its quality or simply unwilling to use it remain open questions. The high proportion of those who slip into unemployment, change employers and are signed off sick during and immediately after separation suggests that it could be in employers’ interests to look at innovative ways of providing support to these men, so they optimise their performance and retain them.

Additionally, as family and friends are the first port of call for many, better equipping these informal sources of support to understand the effects of separation/relationship distress on work performance, offer appropriate support or signpost to relevant services may enable more separating men to receive help with employment earlier. Positive spinoffs in terms of their own wellbeing as well as their ability to continue to support their children are likely to be substantial.

Mental Health: problems experienced and advice sought

The fathers in the survey were asked about their mental health and perceived changes in their mental health over the period of separation (see Table 3). Mental health problems are, again, costly to the State and to employers – not to mention to families and to men themselves.

Table 3: How would you describe your mental health compared to how it had been previously?

Year prior to separation (%) / Year following separation (%)
Much better / 5.0 / 9.5
A little better / 5.8 / 8.7
About the same / 35.5 / 20.3
A little worse / 30.9 / 33.8
Much worse / 22.8 / 27.7

Year prior to separation: 259 recorded responses, 36 missing responses

Year following separation: 231 recorded responses, 64 missing responses

Throughout the year before and the year after separation, over half our respondents reported deterioration in their mental health: 53.7% said their mental health had got a little or much worse in the pre-separation year with 61.5% reporting worse mental health in the post-separation year. Not all, however, looked for help with this issue: 24.2% consulted healthcare professionals more often than usual in the year prior to separation and 47.9% did so in the year post, with GPs being the main health professionals (Among those visiting a health care professional, only 27.5% mentioned relationship difficulties to them in the year prior to separation. Correlations are likely between mental health difficulties and the slide into unemployment, alcohol/substance misuse and being signed off for sickness.

Alcohol/ substance misuse: problems experienced and advice/support sought

In the wider literature, strong correlations are found, particularly among men, between mental health difficulties/trauma and substance misuse (Velleman, 2004; Ballard, 1994). Alcohol or other substance misuse by the men themselves or their partner was cited as a problem by 22.7% of survey respondents in the year pre-separation and 22.2% in the year post separation (figure 3).

Figure 3: ‘Did you or your partner experience problems with alcohol/substance abuse?’

Year before separation: 242 recorded responses, 53 missing responses

Year after separation: 225 recorded responses, 70 missing responses

In the pre-separation year, 7% of the respondents said that they personally had an alcohol/substance problem; this rose only slightly to 8.1% post-separation. Female partners’ alcohol/substance misuse was seen as slightly more problematic. In our study, 10.7% of respondents said their partner had an alcohol/drug problem pre-separation, dropping slightly to 9.8% post-separation. Clearly, it is easier to see a problem in one’s partner than in oneself. Pre-separation, 4.9% of the respondents said that alcohol/other substance abuse was a problem for both themselves and their partner, with 4.2% identifying this as an issue for the year after separation. It is possible that more of our sample were using alcohol/drugs in milder but still destructive ways than was gathered by the wording of our question, which asked respondents to identify when such use was ‘problematic’.