Mentor Text Mondays Fix Up
A few dos & don’ts and tips & tricks for Mentor Text Mondays
TIPS & TRICKS
Ö Identify sentences that “speak” to you – that you find interesting, creative, funny, poignant, or something else altogether. A good rule of thumb is the question: Can you explain why you chose this sentence?
Ö Figure out what the writer is doing. This isn’t easy, but it is necessary. And it will take practice. For example, a lot of you chose the following sentence from “Disco Papa”:
About an hour before, our mother instructed her father to stop knocking back $14 dollar cocktails named for bad weather.
That’s a nice detail, right? But what makes this sentence special? This is a case of a writer “showing” us what she means instead of “telling” us. Russell doesn’t say, “And then mom told grandpa to stop drinking.” She SHOWS us this conversation in a way that’s vivid and with language that has connotative meanings (bad weather bringing to mind storms, which might be what they have on their hands with drunk grandpa).
Ö Imitate the Mentor Text AFTER you’ve figured out the writer has done. If the writer used a simile, use a simile. If she compared an object to something wacky, compare an object of your own to something wacky. If the writer uses dialogue, use dialogue, if she uses a whole bunch of “ands” in between words in a list, then do that. I have a feeling this has what’s been missing from our work.
And it ain’t easy. But you will improve and you already are.
Now, some DOs & DON’Ts:
DO / DON’TCreate sentences inspired by a MT sentence / Write about the MT
Find the best, most effective sentences from the MT and copy them down / Just rewrite that sentence
Make sentences that tell your story or convey your experiences / Comment on the MT or what is happening in it
Take risks and get creative / Choose the shortest sentences because they look easy
Remember: WRITE YOUR STORY!
Some student models…
*Taken from Mrs. H’s 4th period, who TOTALLY rocked this assignment with “Disco Papa.”
Notice the IMAGES students created based on the Mentor Text sentences.
s
From Mentor Text / Student sentenceThe dance floor was shaped like a tortilla chip and kept lighting up in demonic colors. / The car was shaped like a crumpled ball of paper and was smoking black and grey.
The cloud was shaped like a boat, shooting its fierce cannons. (YES!)
The car was shaped like a cube on wheels.
The umbrella was shaped like a compass and kept spinning as the wind blew.
…as we slid over the roof of the ocean. / …as I flew under the breath of the planet. (WOW!)
Slow dancing with my grandfather to a reggae song whose titled seemed to be “Prepare for Sex!” / Dancing crazy with my crazy friend to a rock band song whose titled seemed to be “Prepare to Die.”
Papa’s face was caught in a scintillating net, the light was fine as silk against his wrinkles and it felt so strange to be with this man. / Her face was frozen in excitement, the music was so smooth to her ears, it felt like she was in love with the song.
Papa has huge, spatulate hands with tiny leopard sunspots. / Jack has a huge, egg-like forehead with enough room to land a plane on.
Loki has a huge, boulder-like head with golden tipped ears.
...as if hooded Death were watching from the lifeguard chair. / …as if the test was mocking me from the teacher’s hands.
Papa was spinning the Swedes around like tops. / The blades of the fan were spinning like dogs that had discovered their tails.
Outside the huge windows the sea looked infinite. / Inside the small house the people looked giant.