Growing in Holy Purity
Pope John Paul II, at a homily during a pastoral trip to Sandomierz, Poland in 1999, rhetorically asked what is meant by the phrase “purity of heart.” He answered,
“At this point we touch upon the very essence of man who, by virtue of the grace of the redemption accomplished by Christ, has regained the inner harmony lost in Paradise because of sin. Having a pure heart means being a new person, restored to life in communion with God and with all creation by the redemptive love of Christ, brought back to that communion which is our original destiny.”
The inner harmony Christ won for man is directed toward communion with God, mankind’s original destiny, and is itself perfected by that communion. As the Pope went on to explain, it is by uniting himself to Christ, particularly in the sacraments, that man experiences the triumph of grace in the faculties of his nature: his mind is enlightened, his heart is purified, and his freedom is renewed. In our intellect, the dullness and darkness left by the Fall are healed by the gift of faith, so that now the Christian shares in the mind of Christ (cf. Phil 2:15). In our will grace triumphs through the freedom of love, to the point that the redeemed person seeks to make Christ’s will entirely his own by saying Yes to his personal calling. In our bodies grace triumphs through holy purity, which keeps God in the first place of all our loves. All of our happiness on earth comes through grace, and grace gives us happiness in these three ways: the gift of faith, the gift of our vocation, and the gift of holy purity. They are the greatest gifts God can give to man on earth.
Holy purity is a triumphant affirmation of love. It gives strength to the soul, and, we could say, a kind of lightness to the flesh, so that our hearts can soar to God in love. It is a source of hope for Christians living in the world today, people who know what their souls are worth and who aspire to live in a manner worthy of their calling. It causes one to experience the truth of the teaching that our bodies are meant to be temples of God, where he abides through love.
Holy purity is a gift of God, but he does not ordinarily grant this gift apart from our serious effort. Our struggle to live holy purity both prepares us to receive the gift, and, in some way, constitutes the gift as God wants to give it. Such was the case when God gave David victory over the Philistines: David’s effort to wage the war was blessed by God with success since it was imbued with faith and the desire to do God’s will. With us, our struggle to live holy purity also shows our faith in God, and our desire to be faithful to our Christian vocation. Purity is always a victory – which means that ordinarily it follows battle.
Convictions
The light of faith gives us some clear convictions that guide our struggle to live holy purity:
- IT IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE TO CONQUER. St Augustine had fallen into despair due to sins against purity, and had thought that purity was impossible; later, he discovered and taught that victory here is always possible once we learn how to pray, and how to fight. This experience echoes the teachings of St Paul, when he tells the Corinthians, “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your strength; but he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor 10:13). Commenting on this line, St Cyril of Alexandria writes, “He grants us the ability to endure. But it lies with us how we make use of this power given to us, whether vigorously or feebly. There is no doubt that in every temptation we have the power of enduring, provided that we make proper use of the power thus granted.” The faith teaches us that all things are possible for God: and that includes our victories over sin. Though purity is a gift of grace, we can say with certainty that God always gives it to those who humbly ask for it and strive to put it into effect.
- THE SPIRITUAL MEANS ARE MORE POWERFUL THAN THE HUMAN. Pelagius did not seem to struggle with any sins of the flesh; hence he taught that provided one has a good example to follow, only effort was required, and he denied that success was a matter of grace. This, of course, is a heresy. Spiritual progress is primarily a work of grace, even if that progress, when it develops, develops along lines of a human process of maturing. The denial of the primacy of grace is seldom put so bluntly by Christians today, but this doesn’t mean that Pelagianism is over. It is a perennial temptation, generally taking the form of an excessively human outlook concerning one’s spiritual life. A peculiarly modern way of having excessive human outlook about purity is to treat it as a psychological problem. It is true that irrational behaviors that are repeated due to cravings can be called addictions; this will be discussed more fully later. Still, one should take care not to make every problem a “clinical” one. It is first necessary to see that the spiritual means – piety, prayer and an intense sacramental life, love for God and our Lady – are more powerful than the human means, though the supernatural virtues impel us to use what human means we can.
- PRIDE AND IMPURITY GO HAND IN HAND – BUT PRIDE IS WORSE. It is easy to see that pride and impurity are closely related. Both can be seen in terms of a desire for selfish gratification: a self-centered love leads one to be excessively concerned with one’s own excellence, and, at the same time, to seek pleasure at the expense of love for God and others. In contrast, humility disposes one to focus one’s attention outside of oneself, and so makes one able to respond more generously to the promptings of charity. As one learns to love God and others more effectively, one discovers the joy that genuine self-giving brings with it. Holy purity is both a seal of authenticity and a safeguard for one’s gift of self.
Sincerity
One effect of pride in the soul is to make it ashamed of acknowledging its difficulties; and, conversely, one of the best ways to grow in humility is to grow in the virtue of sincerity. St. Josemaría spoke of “the dumb devil,” taking this phrase from the Gospels (cf. Mark 9:16) to identify that most difficult of devils to expel, one whose company is to be avoided above all. He makes his presence known by our silence. Persons afflicted by the dumb devil don’t speak about their problems: they may think that if they ignore the problem, it will go away. St. Josemaría would go so far as to say that if we conquer the dumb devil, our victory is assured; so when people asked him how to grow in purity, he always insisted: be sincere!
Sincerity with oneself
One must learn to be sincere with oneself before one can be sincere with God and others. Difficulties in purity often have in them an element of self-deception. For example, one may “innocently” enter a situation associated with previous falls, though the situation was avoidable — and even though one could have predicted in a reliable way that future problems would also occur there. These situations, called occasions of sin, are easily discerned if one is able to be sincere with oneself. For instance, one could ask oneself, “When and where have past falls occurred?” If one is sincere, one can often find that there is a common theme, some avoidable circumstance — this is the occasion of sin.
If one is sincere with oneself, one can also notice warning signs that temptations are gaining in strength: it may become difficult to work; one may feel clouded; one thinks of reasons to enter into an occasion of sin; one tries to ensure privacy or isolation; and so on. Sincerity with oneself at this stage is already a major victory, for if one knows to prepare for the struggle — for instance, by putting possible occasions of sin even more remote for a time — one’s victory is more assured.
Sincerity with God and others
Since the earliest days of the Church, Christians seeking perfection have found it useful to receive spiritual guidance from a priest or another trusted person of proven soundness. Having regular spiritual guidance is the fastest way to make progress in holy purity, for it allows one to live fully the virtue of sincerity. Difficulties can be acknowledged; problems can be foreseen; plans can be made with the advice, and the prayers, of the other person to help.
This help is particularly effective if one learns to make use of spiritual guidance “on time.” While it is never to late to be sincere, the earlier one is able to be sincere, the more effective spiritual guidance can be. If a fall occurs, confession restores one to grace, which cannot happen too soon. Prompt confession and the seeking of spiritual guidance also can stop a single lapse from turning into a full-fledged “relapse,” and can often show how decisively a person is seeking to win.
What does it mean to live a complete sincerity in spiritual direction? It is helpful to be complete, within the confines of good manners, without unnecessarily getting into details. Some important questions are:
Was the fall alone? In an isolated place? At night? If it involves the Internet, was one using the Net without a filter? Did one begin to use it without a purpose? While seeking entertainment? In a place associated with previous falls? How explicit was the material? How much time was spent viewing it? Did it lead to further sins? What was the quality of my struggle against the temptation, and at what point did the decision to commit the impurity occur?
Temptations
What exactly is a temptation against purity? Everyone has experienced thoughts about sexual matters. We have also all actively engaged in thinking about sexual matters, reading about them – for instance, what one is doing right now. None of this need constitute a temptation in any way.
A temptation is an impulse to sin, in which something appeals to our desire contrary to our good. The necessary element in temptation is desire. If a thought that is bizarre or explicit crosses our minds but does not appeal to our desires, or if it instead rouses disgust or anxiety, it does not really constitute a temptation. Action follows desire; temptations appeal to our desires and thus moves us to act.
When trying to grow in holy purity, people often focus on the nature of the sexual thoughts or images that beset them: their content, frequency, how vivid they are, and so on. This can be unhelpful – particularly in the time of temptation, when one is better off not letting one’s attention be fixed on these thoughts or images. Rather, what really matters is the state of our desires: how frequently certain cravings beset us, how intense they are, how long they last – since this is what would lead us to action. The thoughts or images we experience do not necessarily say anything about ourselves; what is most revealing of the core of the person is the state of the will: how inclined to act we were, whether we took steps to resist the temptation, what we did in the face of a particular temptation, and so on.
This is an important distinction since, as one progresses in virtue, the random sexual thoughts and images themselves still generally occur – even in the state of perfect virtue – but they become progressively less arousing (though they always can, particularly when involving touch and sight). The appeal of the impulse greatly diminishes — one could say that impure stimuli no longer “resonate” in the flesh, at least not to the degree they did before.
This is the distinction between sexual continence and holy purity: with the former, sexual thoughts and images arouse strong desires against right reason; with the latter, they do not.
Holy Purity Surpasses Continence
Continence is the virtue in the will whereby it contains the impulse of the passions. It is a state of tension that can be compared to keeping a lion on a leash. If one has heroic continence, the leash becomes a chain of steel, which can contain the lion even when he’s at his raging worst.
One must take care, however, not to think that continence is the only form of virtue regulating the passions, in which case becoming more virtuous would simply mean that the chains are becoming stronger and stronger. In reality, we are capable of much more than that. The ultimate goal is not for the lion to be chained, but for the lion to be tamed. When chained, its strength is useless to the master — indeed, all the master’s strength may be used in working the chains.
This state of tension, with its energies divided and lost, must be seen as only a middle ground. The goal is to have the lion seek of its own accord and with its full native strength the ends presented by the master. Chains would no longer be needed: the two would form a team. This is the state of holy purity regarding sexual desire.
This proper understanding of holy purity is uncommon in today’s culture. People typically confuse holy purity with continence — it is as if they had forgotten that the lion could be tamed. They think of purity as a burden, and see celibacy as a life spent gritting one’s teeth and repressing one’s cravings. Many despair of living purity, perhaps without even knowing it, and for this reason many fail to achieve the generosity that could have gained them the hundredfold. If only they knew that holy purity is far greater, more accessible, and less burdensome than the sad virtue they imagined.
Holy purity is possible for everyone. It is not the last step a saint reaches on earth before having raptures, nor is it reserved for a few uncommon heroes. It is the ordinary state of Christians who live in response to their faith and vocation. Holy purity is a state of peace — relative peace, since there is no perfect peace on earth, for the soul here can still lose the goods it possesses — but abiding peace, nonetheless. The continent soul is at war with itself, and thus its energies are conflicted and dispersed. In holy purity, all the strength of the soul is channeled at the good one seeks. For this reason purity is far removed from the false peace of passivity. As a handmaid to hope, purity disposes one to noble actions and high ideals.
Growing in holy purity means learning to reshape our own desires until our desires are conformed to reason; and through reason, to faith; and through faith, to God.
Victory
“To defend his purity, St Francis of Assisi rolled in the snow, St Benedict threw himself into a thorn bush, St Bernard plunged into an icy pond… You…, what have you done?”
“You, a doctor-apostle, write to me: ‘We all know by experience that we can be chaste, living vigilantly, frequenting the sacraments, and stamping out the first sparks of passion before the fire can spread.’”
-St Josemaría Escrivá, The Way, 143, 124
The second quotation clarifies the first: the saints knew how to stamp out the first sparks of passion before the fire spread. By doing so, they continually conquered in holy purity, to a heroic degree. The greater our love for God, the more we react to whatever could take us away from him. As said before, holy purity is not a virtue of the passive — it requires action.
The first act that purity requires is to not make our wayward passions stronger by acting on them. This is obvious; the more you give the passions what they want, they more insistently they ask the next time you say No. If we persevere in not acting on our wayward passions, they will necessarily readjust themselves. This is dramatically demonstrated in the whining of a spoiled child: if you take it shopping you will witness how its whining grows, reaches a fevered pitch, then withdraws in despair if not satisfied.
If one has had much dealings with a spoiled child, one probably knows that while it is impossible to prevent all whining, there are definite triggers that provoke more – such as going to a toy store. Parents who are unsure of whether they can withstand more whining must take care in such occasions. They may have to pay the price!
The same is true in the case of one’s own passions. With purity, we are dealing with matters of sin and eternal life; the stakes are high; we cannot foolishly expose ourselves to situations that could lead to sin, even if these situations are safe for others.
Serious falls in purity are preventable, to some extent, by managing the occasions in which they typically arise. The more routine or “automatic” the sinful habit has become, the more effort it will take to remain one step ahead of it. Avoiding the occasions of sin can thus give the person some time to consolidate their struggle, especially by strengthening the resolve of the will to resist the sinful habit.