Self-Discipline
What is self-discipline?
· Self-discipline is self-control and self-restraint.
· Self-discipline is self-reliance and independence.
Students who exercise self-discipline:
· Complete their assignments
· Stay on task
· Wait to be called on
· Work toward personal and community goals
· Try again and again
· Ignore peer pressure
· Choose productive rather than destructive activities
· Control their tempers
Eight ways to strengthen your self-discipline
1. Decide that you really want to be someone who's self-disciplined. Your desire will motivate you to make good choices.
2. Make a personal commitment to develop and strengthen these traits. Write down specific things to do.
3. Learn the rules that determine what you can and cannot do.
4. Be accountable. Accept responsibility for your own behavior. Don't blame others for your actions and decisions.
5. Practice. Self-discipline is something you can teach yourself. For example, set aside time to read more or to clean up.
6. Do activities that enhance your self-discipline like yoga, walking, rock-climbing, practicing a musical instrument.
7. Eliminate harmful habits. For example, if you spend several hours each week watching violent videos or tv programs, make a conscious decision to spend your time in healthier, more productive ways.
8. Start a self-discipline group to plan and carry out activities.
Activities
· Brainstorm a list of problems that might result from a lack of self-discipline: personal appearance, physical-mental-emotional health, school success, life success, friendships, job performance, talents, participation in family-clubs-community-faith, marriage, parenting.
· Do silly exercises to strengthen your self-discipline like not scratching.
· Role-play how you might talk with a younger brother or sister who is demonstrating a lack of self-discipline.
· Write or tell a chain story about a make-believe prince or princess who has no self-discipline.
· Interview scientists, engineers, doctors, and other people to learn the role of self-discipline in training for their careers and in working.
· Investigate different animal species to learn if they use discipline. Is misbehavior punished in young or in a group situation?
· Examine nature to find examples of discipline and order such as patterns.
· Explore tessellations (repeating geometric patterns).
· Research discipline in history.
· Draw cartoons showing examples of self-discipline vs. no discipline.
· Write new lyrics to a popular song that encourage self-discipline, self-restraint, and self-reliance.
· Explore musical dynamics and control.
· Learn about self-discipline in sports.
· Play a "stop-wait-go" game thinking of different situations.
BOOKLIST for SELF-DISCIPLINE
For Grades K-3
Hank and Oogie - Weiss
Ronald Morgan Goes to Bat - Giff
Arthur's Teacher Trouble - Brown
Babushka's Doll - Polacco
Baby Rattlesnake - Ata
Franklin and the Tooth Fairy - Bourgeois
Galimoto - Williams
Lilly's Purple Plastic Purse - Henkes
Tops and Bottoms - Stevens
The Dancing Granny - Bryan
Max and Ruby's Midas: Another Greek Myth - Wells
Squawk to the Moon, Little Goose - Preston
The Tale of Peter Rabbit - Potter
Anne Frank - McDonough
Yes I Can! Struggle from Childhood to the NFL - Smith
D.W., Go to Your Room! - Brown
It's Taking Too Long: a Book about Patience - Wagner
The Good Little Girl - David
Little Red Riding Hood - various versions
The Child's World of Self-Control - Gambill
D.W. Flips - Brown
Feelings - Aliki
Sometimes I Feel Like a Mouse - Modesitt
Little Monster Did It! - Cooper
On Monday When It Rained - Kachenmeister
For Grades 3-6
The Book of Virtues – Bennett
Eddie, Incorporated – Naylor
Millie Willenheimer and the Chestnut Corporation – Hughes
Sign of the Beaver – Speare
From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler – Konigsburg
Island of the Blue Dolphins - O'Dell
A Likely Place – Fox
My Side of the Mountain - George
Here are 10 tips to help children develop self control:
1. Do activities that require you and the child to follow step by step directions such as playing a board game or following a recipe.
2. Let children wait. If you are busy doing something and a child requests your attention, it is beneficial for the child to learn to wait patiently for you to finish.
3. Provide verbal or visual cues for how long a child may have to wait. Explain to the child that when you are done writing this note, you can play the game. Set a timer and tell the child that when the timer goes off he/she can play with a certain toy.
4. Partner up together to solve a problem. If the child is having trouble completing a difficult task, offer to help to assist but do not take over. Encourage the child to remain in control even though frustrated. Teach the child self control skills when frustrations are on the rise. Try using some self calming strategies - http://yourtherapysource.com/calm.html .
5. Work on something that takes a long time to finish. Try completing a large puzzle together over a weeks time, baking bread from scratch (waiting for it to rise), growing a plant or making rock candy.
6. Model self control. Adults get frustrated and can lose self control too. Show the child that even though you are losing your patience or annoyed you remain calm and in control.
7. Provide suggestions to the child if they are not displaying good self control. For example, suggest that he/she plays with a different toy while waiting for a toy a friend is playing with. Exercise can be an excellent outlet to reduce frustration and anger.
8. Don't set expectations too high. Remember the age of the child. For example, a young child may easily lose self control waiting in a long line next to a large selection of candy. Older children may have less self control following a bad day at school. Children who are expected to sit for hours without burning off any energy will be at risk for losing self control. Overwhelming, crowed or loud places may put children at risk for melting down.
9. Provide down time. Children are expected to go all the time - school, after school activities and sometimes evening activities. Children who are over-scheduled will most likely melt down easier. Allow plenty of time for children to explore their own environments at home and with friends. This creates realistic life situations where self control is required and they will learn though practice.
10. Know when to back off. Children need to develop self control skills for themselves. Once you observe that a child is gaining control, let him/her proceed without your help.
When Teaching Self-Control One Must Start Early in the Child’s Life
a. Explain to the child what the consequences will be if they fail to control their tempter-tantrum, their poor attitude, or whatever bad behavior you wish to correct. Be clear and concise in your instruction. Break it down into a simple, easy to follow plan of action.
b. Once the plan of action is in place and is understood by both you and the child, be ready to reward good behavior. Why take the approach of only punishing the child? You will feel so much better when you think about what you want the child to do and say, and reward with praise along the way. Do not buy or give the child any material possession for doing what is expected. Simply saying, “way to go” goes miles in the path towards raising a child with self-control.
c. When the child slips up, and they will slip up, get down on their level and review the expectations set in step A. Explain in a clear and calm voice that they must go into a time-out in their chosen time-out place. This way if the time-out goes “south” and the kid just isn’t able to get it together you can send them elsewhere. The length of time should be equal to their age. Do not permit the child to come out of the time-out until they are able to control their emotions.
d. Do not judge or react to harshly. It is important not to dwell on the minor issue that led to the time-out. It is crucial for developing self-control in a child to ask them to explain what went wrong and what they could do differently next time.
Links for teacher and parent resources on teaching self discipline
http://www.nasponline.org/resources/handouts/behavior%20template.pdf
http://ohmyhandmade.com/2013/small-business-tips/self-discipline-be-the-boss-of-yourself/
http://discipline.about.com/od/teachingnewskills/tp/8-Ways-To-Teach-Kids-Self-discipline-Skills.htm
http://www.angelfire.com/on3/todayschild/discipline.htm
Quotes:
“No man is fit to command another who cannot command himself.”
William Penn
Better safe than sorry. ~Author unknown
Anyone who angers you, conquers you. ~ Sister Kenny’s Mother
It is wiser to choose what you say than to say what you choose. ~ Author unknown
No man can think clearly when his fists are clenched. ~Author unknown
Swallowing angry words is much better than having to eat them. ~Grit
Even a woodpecker owes his success to the fact that he uses his head. ~Author unknown
Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak. ~Epicetus
He who throws dirt, loses ground. ~Author unknown
There is no fruit which is not bitter before it is ripe. ~Publilius Syrus
To enjoy freedom we have to control ourselves. ~Virginia Woolf