Thesis: Public policy should protect the rights of gays and lesbians to adopt children when they meet the same standards for parenting and home environment set for heterosexuals.
Summary: There have been many stereotypes about gays and lesbians concerning their suitability to raise children. For decades such concerns had raised red flags among social workers and judges, who avoided placing even the neediest children in the homes of same-sex couples. They actively prevented gays and lesbians from adopting a partner's biological children and separated some children from their natural parents.
In recent decades, professionals in the mental health and social work disciplines have dispelled these stereotypes. Research has demonstrated that gays and lesbians are just as stable, nurturing, protective, and supportive of children as heterosexuals. The research also shows that children cared for by gays and lesbians are just as well adjusted as children raised by heterosexuals. In short, it is a fact that the sexual orientation of parents has no bearing on the child.
In light of these findings, public policy should support the initiatives of gays and lesbians to adopt. That includes both the adoption of the biological children that belong to one partner, otherwise known as second-parent adoptions, as well as adoption or serving as foster parents for children who are part of the social welfare system.
Background
The debate over the right of same-sex couples to marry has fueled the argument over whether or not gay and lesbian couples should be able to adopt children or become foster parents. In 2005, Nebraska, Michigan, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Utah joined Florida in enacting legislation that prevents, in one way or another, same-sex couples or single gays and lesbians from adopting or fostering children. Washington, New York, New Jersey, Indiana, Massachusetts, California, Vermont, and Connecticut took the opposite stance and determined that gays and lesbians who want to adopt cannot be discriminated against. In the remaining states, each decision will continue to be made locally until a new statewide mandate is set. This means that some jurisdictions will place children with same-sex couples, while others will continue their history of discrimination.
According to the 2000 US Census, about 25 percent of gay and lesbian couples are raising children. Regardless of local decisions and state laws, these families live in at least 96 percent of all counties in the United States. Many of the children were born to one partner in a previous heterosexual marriage, while others were conceived by means of in vitro fertilization or surrogacy. In states or jurisdictions that have outlawed second-parent adoptions, the mental health and well being of these biological children and the adults are jeopardized, and the parents are being denied civil rights.
In addition to being denied second-parent adoptions, gays and lesbians are regularly denied the opportunity to adopt children who are part of the social welfare system. The Child Welfare League of America states that over 117,000 children each year are passed over for adoption. Many of these (often older) children have behavioral, emotional, or developmental problems that stem from neglect or abuse. Some have tested positive for HIV or have physical disabilities that prevent them from experiencing normal active lives. Only a small percentage of children who are available for adoption are healthy babies, and these are in high demand. Same-sex couples that choose to dedicate their lives to high-risk children are helping society in many ways.
Changing Attitudes
Homosexuality used to be classified a mental illness. The American Psychological Association, following in the footsteps of the American Psychiatric Association, retracted that position after research proved that sexual orientation had no inherent effect on mental disorders in 1975.
During the following decades, the attitude among the American public toward gays and lesbians became more accepting. In 2006, a Pew Research Center study determined that 51 percent of college-educated Americans believe that homosexuality is innate, rather than something that is preventable, chosen, or caused by societal influences.
The belief that one's sexual orientation is neither a mental illness nor a social abomination is continually convincing many Americans to support same-sex marriages as well as gay and lesbian adoption. Currently, 58 percent of Americans under the age of thirty support gay and lesbian adoption, and 55 percent of college-educated adults of all ages weigh in on this side of the debate.
Decision-Making in Adoption Cases
The majority of adoption cases are handled by social service agencies working in conjunction with local judiciaries. In all cases, social workers and judges seek the best situation that will guarantee the health and well being of the child. The ideal environment is considered to be one that is stable and nurturing allowing for a good school performance, and a socially engaged child that can develop in a way best described as well-adjusted both emotionally and psychologically.
During the past few decades, many research studies have proven that gays and lesbians meet all the necessary qualifications to be parents and role models for children. Both the Child Welfare League of America and the American Psychological Association have released statements that counter the stereotypes such as those of homosexuals being more likely to molest children. In fact, studies have shown that the overwhelming majority of pedophiles (90 percent) are heterosexual males. It seems therefore reasonable to raise the standards and background checks for adoptive parents and foster homes in general according to the safety of the child and regardless of the sexual orientation of the potential adoptive parents.
As a matter of fact, same-sex parents are more capable of teaching children the necessary skills to deal with ridicule that comes as a result of homophobic attitudes. Several studies have shown that children who learn to cope with social stigma are better equipped to defend themselves and resolve conflicts, including derogatory comments in regard to race, ethnicity or social class.
Among the parenting skills sought by social workers are patience to work with at-risk children, respect for differences, and the dedication to raise children that are not related by blood. In research studies, gays and lesbians rate higher in these qualities than heterosexuals because of their previous experiences in dealing with conflict and discrimination.
Opponents of same sex adoption promote stereotypes such as the one that gays and lesbians are "so preoccupied with their sexuality that they couldn't possibly share the innate ability to parent that is part of being human". Of course such stereotypes are quite beside the fact and border the ridiculous. On the contrary, gays and lesbians have been parenting throughout history, while being forced to hide their sexual orientation from intolerant societies
Homosexual parents have just as much natural ability to parent as have heterosexuals. The desire to be responsible and loving parents can be seen in the number of same-sex couples who choose to undergo donor insemination or surrogacy. Among same-sex couples, every child is wanted; there are no "accidents" or unwanted children.
Same-Sex Couples as Role Models
One of the arguments typically presented by opponents of gay and lesbian adoptions is the fear that same-sex couples do not provide appropriate gender-specific role models for children. However, in research studies that compared lesbian couples with divorced heterosexual couples, the lesbian mothers were found to be more likely to encourage their children to remain close to the natural father than in the heterosexual relationships. The reality is that most gays and lesbians, like heterosexuals, also have mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other friends and relatives who serve as role models.
Perhaps the greatest fear of all opponents is that the children of gays and lesbians will also "grow up to be homosexual". Not only does this reveal an inherent bias among opponents against homosexual orientation in general, but this "fear" is also completely unfounded. No research has ever indicated any such link. If such an argument were true, then it would be reasonable to assume that all children of heterosexual children would grow up to be heterosexual. This is obviously not the case.
Why Adoption Laws Matter
A parent who adopts a child makes a financial, legal, and emotional commitment that helps ensure the health and well being of the child. Adopted children are entitled to health insurance benefits earned by parents, to hospital visitations by both parents, and to inheritances upon the death of the parents. In divorce cases, the parents are entitled to child support and custody rights, and property settlements that will also benefit the child.
When a separated or divorced partner moves to a state that discriminates against same-sex couples, he or she may be prevented from continuing the parenting relationship that was established in a more progressive state. Both the parent and the child may incur both emotional and economic problems. The American Psychological Association strongly supports second-parent adoptions because the mental health risks are otherwise too great.
Same-Sex Adoptions Throughout the World
The acceptance of homosexuality and same-sex marriages are commonplace in civilized nations. Countries throughout the world are changing their laws to prevent discrimination against same-sex adoptions. Currently, the Scandinavian countries, Iceland, Belgium, South Africa, Spain, and the United Kingdom allow same-sex couples to adopt children.
While some progress has been made in the United States, it is time to ensure that all states stop discrimination and provide equal rights to the millions of gays and lesbians waiting to adopt.