Name: Period: Date:

ADV. COMP. ASSIGNMENT (100 points): personal application essay for college entrance; use UC prompts

9/26 - 9/28DRAFT CONFERENCE

Friday 9/30DUE DATEYour essay is due on this date, regardless of any absences.

Tuesday 10/4DEAD DATEAny essay submitted after the dead date will receive no more than 50% credit.

Requirements

  • Respond to two (2) of the UC personal insight prompts
  • MLA format; 3-5 double-spaced pages; 12-point, easy-to-read font, preferably Times New Roman
  • proofread and ready to send out to a school
  • attach this sheet to front of your essay
  • must submit a hard copy and keep a copy for yourself

Considerations

  • What characteristic do you want to highlight?
  • What experience from your life can you use to show this?
  • Use 1-2 specific instances with details—nota broad, general sense of an ideal world
  • How are you going to contribute to the specific college?
  • No woe is me statement; be straightforward about any difficulty you’ve overcome
  • Avoid bragging or giving a list of your accomplishments. The college will already have a list of your achievements from another part of the application process.
  • Do take the opportunity to explain anything lacking in your high school experience, for example, why you did not participate in any clubs, etc.
  • Consider that UC admissions readers evaluate about 2000 essays/applications every year

RUBRICPOINTS: /100GRADE:

Superior Response
  • Addresses the topic clearly and responds effectively to all aspects of the task
  • Explores the issues thoughtfully and in depth
  • Is coherently organized and developed, with ideas supported by apt reasons and well-chosen examples
  • Has an effective, fluent style marked by sentence variety and a clear command of language
  • Is generally free from errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics
/ Strong Response
  • Addresses the topic clearly, but may respond to some aspects of the task more effectively than others
  • Shows some depth and complexity of thought
  • Is well organized and developed, with ideas supported by appropriate reasons and examples
  • Displays some sentence variety and facility in the use of language
  • May have a few errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics

Proficient Response
  • Addresses the topic, but may not respond to all parts of the task thoroughly
  • Provides basic analysis, but may treat the topic repetitively
  • May have some errors, but generally demonstrates control of grammar, usage, and mechanics
/
  • Is adequately organized and developed, generally supporting ideas with reasons and examples
  • Demonstrates adequate control of sentence structure and language

Limited Response
  • Misunderstands or does not respond to all parts of the task
  • Lacks focus, sometimes fails to communicate ideas
  • Is poorly organized and developed, presenting generalizations without adequate and appropriate support
  • Demonstrates limited control of sentence structure and language
  • Has an accumulation of errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that sometimes interfere with meaning
/ Inadequate Response
  • Indicates confusion about the topic or neglects important aspects of the task
  • Lacks focus and coherence, and often fails to communicate ideas
  • Has very weak organization, development, and support
  • Demonstrates inadequate control of sentence structure and language
  • Has numerous errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics that frequently interfere with meaning

COMMENTS:

University of California Freshman Personal Insight Questions

The personal insight questions are about getting to know you better —your life experience, interests, ambitions and inspirations. Think of it as your interview with the admissions office. Be open. Be reflective. Find your individual voice and express it. As you respond to the essay prompts, think about the admissions and scholarship officers who will read your statement and what you want them to understand about you. While your response is only one of many factors we consider when making our admission decision, it helps provide context for the rest of your application.

Tips and Techniques

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Start early. Give yourself plenty of time for preparation, careful composition and revisions.

Write persuasively. Making a list of accomplishments, activities, awards or work will lessen the impact of your words. Expand on a topic by using specific, concrete examples to support the points you want to make. Write persuasively. Present your information and ideas in a focused, deliberate and meaningful manner.

Use “I” statements. Talk about yourself so that we can get to know your personality, talents, accomplishments and potential for success on a UC campus. Use “I” and “my” statements in your responses.

Proofread and edit. Grammatical and spelling errors can be distracting to the reader and get in the way of what you’re trying to communicate. In addition to checking your spelling, be sure your grammar is correct and your essay flows smoothly.

Solicit feedback. Your answers should reflect your own ideas and be written by you alone, but others — family, teachers and friends — can offer valuable suggestions. Ask advice of whomever you like, but do not plagiarize from sources in print or online and do not use anyone's published words but your own.

Avoid common mistakes:
  • Inappropriate use of humor
  • Lists of accomplishments or activities
  • Creative writing (poems, clichés)
  • Quotations: We want to know your thoughts and words, not someone else’s.
  • Generalities: Stick to facts and personal examples.
  • Repetition: Give us new info we can’t find in other sections of the application.
  • Asking philosophical questions: Get to the point and tell us what you mean. Don't ask questions without answers.
  • Acronyms: Spell it out for us!