CHAPTER II
Self Concept & Self-Esteem
I. Self-Concept
II. Self-Esteem
III. 3 Ways to develop your Self-Concept
Reflected Appraisal
Social Comparisons
Cultural Expectations
IV. Self-fulfilling Prophecies
Activity: “WHO AM I?”
1. Take out a sheet of paper and # it from 1-7.
2. I want you to answer the question “Who Am I?”
3. You will list at least 7 I AM’s.
4. Try to include all the characteristics that describe you.
1. Your moods/feelings. (I am a happy person, depressed, sad)
2. Your appearance & physical condition. (I am pretty/ ugly, thin/fat)
3. Your social traits. (outgoing, shy)
4. Talents you possess or lack. (not a good baseball player, good tennis player)
5. Your intellectual capacity. (above avg., slow learner)
6. Your strong beliefs. (values)
7. Your social roles. (I am a parent, student, daughter)
5. Take about 3-5 minutes to do this. Then tell them to prioritize the 1st 3 .
6. Ask students to share their first 3 on the list.
7. After let them know they have just given a partial description of their self-concept.
ASK WHAT IS THE SELF-CONCEPT?
I. Self-Concept:
A. Def: Self-concept- is a set of relatively stable perceptions that each of us holds about ourselves. The self-concept includes our conception about what is unique about us and what makes and what makes us both similar/different from others.
1. Why would a communication class focus on the self-concept???
a. The self-concept affects every aspect of our lives.
b. Who you are and how you view your self influences the way you communicate with others and influences the way others will communicate with you.
Now there is much more to you then just those items we discussed at the beginning of the class.
2. The point is that, the concept of self is perhaps our most fundamental/vital possession. Knowing who we are is essential.
Without a self-concept it would be impossible to relate to the world.
B. How does the self-concept develop (are we born with it)?
1. Most researchers agree that we are not born with a self-concept.
example: An infant lying in his/her crib has no notion of who they are. But at about 6-7 mo. the child begins to recognize the “self” as distinct form surroundings/others. They look at their hands and somehow the connection is made that that hand is mine. At this early stage the self-concept is mostly physical.
2. The self-concept is extremely subjective being almost totally a product of interacting with others. So your self-concept is shaped by those around you.
II. Self-Esteem
A. Def: Our evaluations of our self-worth.
B. It is shaped by how he/she felt about their qualities (tall).
C. How does this effect the way we communicate (defend ones self).
III. Our self-concept is developed in 3 ways:
1. (Def.) Reflected Appraisals: It metaphorically describes the fact that we develop an image of ourselves from the way we think others view us. (H. S. Sullivan)
*** The Looking Glass: (Cooley) We put ourselves in the position of other people and then, in our mind’s eye, view ourselves as we imagine they see us.
a. We are a reflection of how others have revealed to us, who we are. By the way they treat us, react to you, talk to you, look at us, etc...
b. In other words we are likely to feel less lovable, valuable, & capable to the degree that others have communicated a negative message about ourselves.
c. In contrast, we will probably feel good about ourselves to the extent that others have communicated positive messages about ourselves.
Your list may reflect some positive/negative messages that you have received throughout your life.
These messages come from significant others such as your parents, siblings and teachers. And come early in our lives. These messages are delivered through both verbal/nonverbal messages.
* Nonverbally: Do they look at us if they are glad to see us or hug us when they see us. Ignore us, how they look at us, facial expressions.
* Verbally: Positive: your so cute, I love you, what a good girl/boy you
are.
Negative: can’t you do anything right, what is the matter with you now? your a bad boy/girl, leave me alone, go away, you drive me crazy.
* It takes 7 positive messages to erase 1 negative
(keep in mind when communicating with others/children)
Movie-
The second process regarding how our self-concepts are shaped is called:
2. Social Comparisons; that is, the conclusions (positive, negative, neutral) we reach when we compare ourselves to other people. Evaluating ourselves in terms of how we compare with others.
a. We decide if we are superior or inferior by comparing ourselves to others.
- Are we attractive or ugly
- A success or failure
- intelligent or dumb
b. Social comparison depends on whom we compare ourselves with
- We may never look like Cindy Crawford, or play basketball like Michael Jordan.
- Many of us judge ourselves against unreasonable standards and suffer accordingly.
* So it is important to recognize that the reference groups against which we compare ourselves play an important role in shaping our self-concept.
3. Cultural Expectations: Our whole notion of the self is shaped by the culture in which we have been reared.
Examples: Language/out-group and collectivistic vs. individualistic cultures (pg. 51)
III. Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
A. Def: Occurs when a person’s expectation of an outcome makes the outcome more likely to occur than would otherwise have been true..
B. TWO types of Self-fulfilling prophecies: self-created or other-imposed
1. Self created prophecies: are those predictions you make about yourself. We often talk ourselves into success or failure.
Examples:
a. Going to a party. You expect to have a good/bad time and you do.
b. Failing a test and then you do.
In each case there was a good chance that the event occurred because it was predicted to occur - you set yourself up for the end results.
2. Other-imposed prophecies: Occurs when the expectations of one person govern another’s action.
Example:
If a teacher tells John, “I can see that you have a terrific ability to remember details; I know that you will be an outstanding member of the debate team,” John is likely to believe this prophecy and will come to act in ways that are consistent with it.
When teachers act as if their students are able, students buy into that expectation and succeed. And the opposite can occur as well, tell students they are not able.
* WE SHOULD TAKE CARE IN WHAT WE SAY TO OTHERS*
IV. 4 general rules to change self-concept
1. Have realistic expectations of ourselves: do not expect to be perfect
2. Have a realistic perception of yourself: combine weakness with strengths
3. Have the will to change: this is key
4. Have the skill to change: seek good role models, seek advice from books, couns.
ACTIVITY: Group Brag!