Why did he wash his hands?
Miss Wong Ting Ting, Natalie, Clinical Psychologist
Tin Yu is seventeen, and judging from his trendy clothing, neat hairstyle and orderly blending of accessories and clothes, he is very fussy about his appearance. However, the most conspicuous part of his appearance, notwithstanding his flashy outfit, are his hands which are reddish and dry, with peeled skin and even wounds that extended above his wrists.
“What happened to your hands?”
It turns out he has this compulsive habit of washing his hands. He washes his hands more than thirty times every day, taking up to half an hour and using up half a bar of soap each time. This lengthy period of time he spends in the toilet has led to many conflicts with his family. In addition to this, he has a phobia of touching anything that has been touched by others, such as public telephones and door-latches. He is afraid of bacterial infection, considers that such things are very dirty and often warns himself to stay clear from such things. He is compelled to repeatedly wash his hands by these recurring thoughts and fear. The most absurd thing is that even though he barely touched these “filthy” things, he still thinks that his hands are filthy no matter how he washes his hands or how often he washes his hands. Every time he washes his hands, he only manages to temporarily reduce this anxiety and unease. Although he himself realises how meaningless, irrational and ridiculous his repetitive behaviour is, he can’t stop himself from thinking about this or from washing his hands. He is troubled by this compulsive need to wash his hands as it wastes a lot of his time and makes him unable to focus on his studies. His social life has also been affected by this as he often prefers to hide at home so he won’t have to touch things that other people have touched and can wash his hands whenever he wants.
From the perspective of cognitive therapy, Tin Yu’s problem has to do with his mode of thinking. He is a perfectionist who seeks perfection in his attire and his work. He always says to himself: “I ought to……”, “I must……” and would even set goals that are unachievable. He is also obsessed with making things orderly and symmetrical. He has strong sense of responsibility and a long list of things that he must “must-do” and “accomplish”. On the other hand, he is rather afraid of failure, so his thoughts are stuck at two extremes. He believes that people will no longer accept him once he has made a mistake, and feels that this means he would be a complete failure and utterly useless. His belief that his hands are filthy seems to be a reflection of his self-hatred. He can never wash this feeling away even if he never stops washing his hands because water cannot wash away such a deep feeling. His injured hands are also a symbol of the unhealed wound in his heart. Furthermore, his mode of thinking has pushed him into a corner and he can only see a very narrow world. Whether he can find his way out depends on whether he can change his thoughts to see things around him from a new perspective.
Psychotherapy can help Tin Yu to understand the root of his problem, modify his mode of thinking, and teach him a more rational and peaceful way of thinking, such as “even if I fail to achieve an objective, this doesn’t mean I am a failure.” He should learn to love himself unconditionally, as well as to accept himself and give himself recognition because no one can love us in the same way that we can. He should learn to let himself make mistakes and tell himself: “I did pretty good and tried my best already”, as well as to stop comparing with others and valuing what he already has and has accomplished. By setting reasonable and healthy goals, his life would become more satisfying and fulfilling, and he will feel cleaner and more peaceful. If this is the case, he’ll never have to wash his hands again.
Note / This article is translated by a translation company from the corresponding original Chinese article in the Chinese section of this website. It is meant to be just an approximation of the original article for the benefit of readers who do not read Chinese.