Esau
10 Page Sampler/Short
Written for comics by Jason Rodriguez
1st Draft: January 18th, 2005
PAGE 1 (9 PANELS) – I was kind of seeing this as a 9-panel grid and then opening it up on page two. It sort of slowly builds the absurdity of the situation and then really opens it up on the next page. I’m never really married to lay-outs, I usually don’t even write them, but I figured I’d put them down and if you have any suggestions/changes go ahead and do it.
General style notes, this story takes place in Cretaceous Utah which looks nothing like Utah of today which is fine because I’ve never seen the Utah of today. Water, lots of trees, mountains and hills – a vibrant environment. Here are some Cretaceous environment references (dinosaur references will provided as we go along):
http://www.dinoridge.org/g_cretaceous-environment.jpg
http://photo2.si.edu/dino/cretac.gif
http://www.prehistory.com/dinosaurs/carnota.jpg
http://www.dmns.org/main/minisites/fossil/images/cretaceous.jpg
http://universe-review.ca/I10-35-Cretaceous.jpg
http://www.museums.org.za/sam/resource/palaeo/pics/crater_s.jpg
http://www.fossilhut.com/Cretaceous%20Seas.jpg
The Cretaceous period was all-together warmer, so Esau is going to be hot but not bothered; he’s not the type of guy to let his discomfort shine through.
Panel 1 – Darkness, medium shot of a fire-burning in the distance, a typical cowboy campout. This is in slightly more sparse land, not a lot of tree but just enough to provide some cover. Everything draped and somewhat warped in shadow and not particularly discernible; we don’t want our reader to get the hook just yet – we want this to be almost a breeze through panel to set the blocking but give hardly any information away except for a lone cowboy by a campfire. Esau is by himself, sitting in front of a fire, cooking a large prehistoric dragonfly. Off to the side “Girl”, his small Iguanodon ( http://www.linkandpinhobbies.com/Graphics/di_iguanodon.jpg ), is tied to a tree and grazing. Girl isn’t fully grown – she’s around horse-size. Again, all of this should be primarily masked for now – I’m just letting you know what the scene will open up to.
Panel 2 – Tight on the back of Esau’s spurred boot. It’s a crumply and dusty brown leather boot, no special marks on it, the spurs are worn and chipped.
Panel 3 – Pull up to see Esau’s face – unshaven for some time, sweaty and dirty. Deadwood is a great reference for cowboy clothes – the producers really did their research (http://www.hollywoodjesus.com/television/deadwood/05.jpg ). I see Esau as a dirtier version of Seth Bullock (right). The jacket, vest and tie gone, it’s too hot here, and his white shirt is dirty and soaked with sweat, unbuttoned. Sleeves unbuttoned but not rolled up.
Panel 4 – On the campfire, a mixture of palm tree-like, hard bark mixed with some tropical leaves burning strong. You can see the bottom portion of the dragonfly wing in the shot. The dragonfly is comically large, rammed on a stick like it was a marshmallow. http://www.turtletrack.org/Issues04/Co03202004/Art/dragonfly_Cb.jpg
Panel 5 – From behind Esau we get a better shot of Girl. Her hind quarters are still in shadow but there is no mistaking the fact that she has a dinosaur head. She’s still grazing, chewing on some bush. A large vine is tethered around her neck, keeping her where she is.
Panel 6 – Back on Esau, the dragonfly is now unmistakable, cooking over the fire.
Panel 7 – Esau holds the dragonfly (still on the stick) up to his nose and smells it.
SFX: Sniff!
Panel 8 – Esau takes a huge bite out of the dragonfly’s side.
Panel 9 – Pull back out to a similar shot as panel one but with everything a bit clearer, no longer hidden in shadow, as if the light opened up. Esau munching on a huge dragonfly as the Iguanodon watches him curiously with a touch of admiration towards her master.
PAGE 2 (2 Panels) – Just a small inset in the top left and then we open it up.
Panel 1 – Day time. Worm’s Eye View of Esau from the waste up – all we see is him and the burning sun, a typical spaghetti western shot.
Esau: Welp, Girl, let’s ride.
Panel 2 – Big-ass shot of Esau riding off onto the horizon on the back of Girl. I kind of see this as bareback riding but if you like the idea of rigging some prehistoric saddle and stirrups out of leaves and vines I say go for it.
I see them close to a river bank, slowly moving. A heard of Zephyrosaurus ( http://leute.server.de/frankmuster/WXYZ/Zephyrosaurus1.jpg ) in the distance, running from an attacking Acrocanthosaurus ( http://frankdenota.blackhydra.com/acrorender6.jpg ). A couple of Nodosaurus ( http://piclib.nhm.ac.uk/piclib/webimages/0/20000/800/20856_big.jpg ) graze in a patch of grass on the opposite side of the river. A Tenontosaurus ( http://www.dinosauria.com/gallery/joe/tenontosaurus.jpg ) eyes the Acrocathosaurus nervously as her young graze in the bush.
Esau: I reckon today’s the day we catch that son-bitch.
Page 3 (7 PANELS)
Panel 1 – Esau on Girl, rides within twenty yards of the Acrocathosaurus, hunched over and eating a Zephyrosaurus.
Panel 2 – Tight on the Acrocathosaurus who looks up and growls, blood dripping from it’s chin, entrails stuck to it’s face.
Panel 3 – Esau rides on without even paying any notice to the Acrocathosaurus growling at him. Even in this environment Esau is the alpha-male, chest out and confident, exerting a certain level of control over everything he sees.
Panel 4 – Esau pulls on the vein-reigns, looking down at the ground, causing Girl to slow-up.
Esau: Woah!
Panel 5 – Esau dismounts, keeping his eyes on a patch of short bush, the kind of bush you’d casually step on without thinking anything of it.
Panel 6 – Tight on the bush in question, there are some broken branches roughly the width and length of a human foot – the branches on one side (the toe-side of the depression) have heavier breaks than the ones in the back, signifying the spot where the toe “pushed-off” while walking. We see Esau’s hand in the shot, feeling one of the broken branches.
Esau: Goddamn it, Jacob.
Panel 7 – Esau crouching down, staring in the direction of where Jacob was headed.
Jacob: We got monsters the size of mountains lumberin’ ‘roun and you stick out like a sore-thumb.
PAGE 4 (6 PANELS) – As Esau moves towards Jacob (his brother, the man he’s chasing) the trees get more dense. Jacob is running towards the relative safety of the forest (or, what he perceives to be the safety of the forest).
Panel 1 – From behind we see Esau slowly riding again. A couple of hundred yards ahead of him, in the distance, we see the outline of Jacob scrambling towards a dense patch of trees. Jacob is not like Esau at all. He’s scrawny, weasel-looking. Going back to the Deadwood analogy I liken him to this guy: http://us.ent4.yimg.com/tv.yahoo.com/images/he/photo/tv_pix/hbo/deadwood/garret_dillahunt/deadwood_doughyun.jpg , the coward that shot Wild Bill in the back. Esau takes control of his environment, Esau commands his surrounding’s attention no-matter where he is. Jacob, on the other hand, has no place in his environment no matter where he is. He’s unlikable, awkward and untrustworthy to anyone and anybody who sees him.
Jacob (small): huff, huff, huff…
Panel 2 – Tight on Jacob, running and panting, sweating profusely. He looks wild, like he hasn’t eaten in days; his only motivation now is to get away from Esau as fast as he can and maybe live to see another day.
Jacob: huff, huff, huff…
Panel 3 – As Jacob nears the dense trees Esau is practically upon him. Esau is calmly reaching into his holster to grab his gun.
Esau: Jacob – I sugges’ you hold the runnin’.
Panel 4 – Medium on Esau pulls the gun and cocks the trigger, points it off towards Jacob.
SFX (from gun): click!
Esau: C’mon, Jacob, you know how we gotta do this.
Panel 5 – Worm’s eye at Jacob, who stopped running and now looks like he pissed himself with fright. Esau is behind him, gun in the air, just firing a warning shot.
SFX (from gun barrel): BLAM! (a real cannon shot, impactful, loud, old gun).
Panel 6 – Back on Esau, gun loosely trained on Jacob.
Esau: What would momma say if she foun’ out I had ta shoot ya in the back?
Page 5 (7 PANELS) – Leaving the layout loose here, this is some talking heads stuff so I don’t want to tie you to anything – feel free to play with it as much as you’d like.
Panel 1 - Esau gets off Girl, never taking his eyes off of Jacob. Jacob still has his back towards Esau, practically crying with fear, not wanting to die – not wanting to face his brother.
Jacob: Momma? MOMMA!
Jacob: Esau, take a look around! It’s all changed here. We ain’t never gonna even see momma again.
Panel 2 – Esau moves in a bit closer, gun trained again, not bothering to look around and acknowledge that things are a bit fucked up right now.
Esau: Ah reckon ya right, but I still wantcha ta turn ‘round.
Panel 3 – On Jacob now, practically screaming.
Jacob: Tha’s not the point, Esau! Everything’s over, you see? Everything that happened back home – it’s done, Esau!
Jacob: Your beefs don’ belong here. We don’ belong here.
Panel 4 – Esau doesn’t skip a beat.
Esau: Ah reckon you’re right ‘bout that, too. You was always the one with the book smarts, weren’tchya? I was the one wit’ the sense, though, and sense says our bein’ here is all the more reason to end this now.
Panel 5 – Jacob thinks he found an out, he smiles lightly, hopefully.
Jacob: You’ll still be here, though, even after ya kill me.
Panel 6 – Beat panel. For the first time Esau has a reflective look on his face, as if he’s taking this though in and processing it – he doesn’t have an immediate answer.
Panel 7 – Still on Esau, he’s come to some conclusion internally.
Esau: I’ll have ta take care of that when I’m done wit’ ya, I reckon.
Esau: Now turn ‘round.
Page 6 (3 PANELS) – I’m seeing this sort of similar in layout to page 2 except with two small panels to open up to the balls-to-the-wall killer splash. We’re going to get dirty with the Utah Raptor here, some references can be found here:
http://web.tiscali.it/dinosauriweb/utahraptor.jpg
http://www.dinosaur.org/dinos/wwdutah.jpg
http://www.virtualvalley.co.uk/images/raptor.jpg
http://www005.upp.so-net.ne.jp/JurassicGallery/Utahraptor.jpg
http://www.indyrad.iupui.edu/public/jrafert/Watson/mvc-005a.jpg
http://www.original-creations.com/utahraptor_files/image004.jpg
And to give you an idea of their relative size to humans:
http://www.hodgman.org/travel/dino-2000/20000805-2-24-ceu-thomas-2.jpg
http://www.dinoruss.org/SIU-2004/SIU-2004-Thumbnails/114.jpg
These guys were slightly bigger than the raptors from Jurassic Park – notice the kill claw position on their hind legs. They’d run at their prey incredibly fast, jump at them and put that razor sharp claw right across their prey’s throat, killing them instantly. Luckily for Esau they don’t have a good understanding of human anatomy. Here’s something that will put the enormity of that claw into perspective for you: http://storeforknowledge.com/images/utah_raptor_big.jpg
Panel 1 - Tight on the Utahraptor’s kill-claw as it slices Esau’s mouth and tears through his cheek about an inch in from the lip. The wound is painful but not a kill shot by any means. Esau’s eyes are shut tight as the pain instantly washes over him but he still looks tough, like he’s taking it.
SFX: SLRIIIP!
Panel 2 – Esau holding his left hand up to his cheek with his open palm, looking extremely pissed off, we still don’t see the raptor.
Esau: Son-of-a-bitch.
Panel 3 – Big-ass panel. In the foreground we see Esau, slightly hunched over. His pistol is held firmly in his right hand but his left hand is up against his cheek, holding back the blood that is gushing from his wound. His eyes are squinted and his jaw is clenched, he is in more pain than he has ever been in his entire life but he sure as hell won’t show it. Despite that, he is staring right into the eyes of the raptor with nothing but pure hatred exhuming from him. In front of him, staring him down, is the massive raptor with blood dripping from its left “kill claw”. He’s looking at Esau with a bit of curiosity, the man isn’t falling – this is tougher prey than usual. Behind the raptor we see Jacob scrambling into the woods, arms flailing about, running for his life.
Esau: That was a cheap shot.
Jacob: Ahhh!!
Page 7 (5 Panels) – We’re going to lay this out like the old western showdowns – both fighters at the ready, guns (or claws) drawn, both staring at each other, waiting for the other to make the first move, making small talk during the tension-filled moment.
Panel 1 - Jacob runs into the woods, not looking behind him.
Jacob: AGGHHH!!!
Panel 2 - Esau yells out, frustrated, but keeps one eye on the raptor.
Esau: Get on back here, Jacob!
Panel 3 - Esau smiles and looks at the raptor as it turns his head slightly and looks in the direction of Jacob. The raptor’s expression is an almost human look asking, “Can you believe that guy?” I want to begin to show how Esau is relatable to predators of all types.
Esau: I’m embarrassed to admit it but that useless sack a’ turd is my brother.
Raptor (snort from nose): Grmph!
Panel 4 - The raptor turns around and locks eyes again with Esau. Their stance is a typical western showdown, Esau’s gun by his side and the raptor at the ready, hands held limp and non-threatening but ready to strike.
Esau: Welp, le’s see whatcha got, then.
Page 8 and 9 (9 Panels) – either as a two page splash or you can divide them, let’s make the action breathe, though, let it really explode – show Esau in his primal form, plugging holes in the massive, lumbering beast. The suggested panel count will make it about 4.5 panels per page so whatever you want to do, go for it.