SOUPER BOWL OF CARING
SKIT
TITLE: Real TV, Real Hunger!
SUBMITTED BY: John P. Trump, St. Andrew’s Lutheran Church, Columbia, SC
NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 9 speaking roles:
· Mark, Jan, Announcer 1, Announcer 2, Harry, Alice, Quarterback, Player and Reporter(s)
COSTUMES: Announcers/reports in suits. Players in jersey.
LENGTH: 8-10 +minutes.
TIME FRAME: Before Souper Bowl Sunday
PLOT: A couple of friends are getting ready to watch the game. They turn on the TV to watch the pre-game reports and get an unexpected report from youth discussing hunger issues and what can be done to address those issues.
PROPS AND STAGING: In the front of the church there is a “large split screen TV.” What this means is that there is a large “frame” of a television, with a center “hole” about five foot by five foot, with the top of it around six foot tall. This should be made out of a simple wood frame with cardboard or even paper over top. It is then painted or drawn upon from the front with such words as “SONY”, “volume”, “channel”, etc. Part of the screen is cut away. (i.e. hole). This “screen” is large enough that the two television announcers can appear in it, and it might work well to have it surrounding the lectern or another speaking position that has a microphone or wired for sound. When people are “on television” they simply step into the “screen” behind the television. They are now “live”. The announcers do the same in their screen. This is intentionally silly and simple. There are two chairs somewhat facing the screens, at an angle. Acting blocks can be used for this. Snacks for TV viewers, showing lots of goodies to eat during Super Bowl.
The lesson read for this day is Luke 4:16-30. Matthew 25:31-46 can also be used with some slight alterations in the beginning lines referring to the lesson that was read.
Scene 1
Two people enter. Male and/or female. Names are used here for our performance. There are no parts that cannot be switched around. Simply change the names and the pronouns.
MARK: Hey, let’s get all ready for the game… it’s almost time for kickoff
JAN: Are you ready to rumble!
MARK: Can we say:
BOTH: Super bowl! Yea!
JAN: I was starting to worry during church for a minute there
MARK: Yea, the sermon was going on and on. I was thinking… it’s almost game time!
JAN: But it was in interesting message. Can you believe that Gospel lesson?
MARK: What?
JAN: That those people would actually try to throw Jesus over a cliff, would reject him like that. Unbelievable.
MARK: You’re telling me. What did the preacher say about it?
JAN: I don’t know. Something about us rejecting him in our town. Yada yada yada… are we ready?
MARK: Pizza?
JAN: In the oven
MARK: Chips?
JAN: Check
MARK: Drinks?
JAN: Check.
MARK: Pretzels?
JAN: Check
MARK: Remote control?
JAN: Check.
MARK: Answering machine on?
JAN: Check.
MARK: Your television is awesome!
JAN: It ought to be. It cost a bundle. But see it has split screen TV, with one picture here, and another here. And a picture so live, you would swear it was real. Wait till you see it.
MARK: Well, turn it on. It’s game time.
APPEARING IN THE SMALL SCREEN
ANNOUNCER #1: Welcome to SUPER BOWL Sunday. Today’s game pits the ______against the ______. This should be a real battle today.
ANNOUNCER #2: Yes, I really see it as a great game between two teams that are evenly matched, and unlike most Super Bowls, we may actually have a game today that won’t be decided in the first quarter.
ANNOUNCER #1: What do you think it’s going to come down to, in the end?
ANNOUNCER #2: I think it’s going to come down to points. The team with the most points, I think, is going to win. In fact, statistically, an amazing 100% of the teams with the most points at the end of regulation have in fact won the games.
ANNOUNCER #1: An amazing stat. For more insights into the game, let’s go down on the field to our side lines reporter, (insert reporter’s name). (Reporter’s name), what do you have for us?
THE REPORTER APPEARS IN THE BIG SCREEN.
REPORTER: Well, I’ve just come from the locker rooms of these two teams, and let me tell you, that was not a pleasant experience! I mean, talk about your basic body odors! How do these guys huddle up, anyway?
ANNOUNCER #1: About their strategies for the game?
REPORTER: Well, both teams were planning on trying to win. That and both said something about killing the other guys. Actually, they said some other words too, but I can’t repeat them. Personally, I would wash their mouths out with soap, right after I washed everywhere else. PEW!
ANNOUNCER #1: Thanks for those insights.
JAN: I love these reporters
MARK: They really get you down close to the game.
ANNOUNCER #1: Let’s see if we can get a word with one of the team captains. (Reporter’s name), are you there?
REPORTER: Yes, I’m here with _____, quarterback for the ______. ______are you excited about the game?
QUARTERBACK: No.
REPORTER: Huh?
QUARTERBACK: No. I mean, have you seen the size of those defensive linemen?
REPORTER: They are big.
QUARTERBACK: And what is their job? To try and kill me, that’s what! Would you look forward to that?
REPORTER: I guess not. But what about the thrill of victory?
QUARTERBACK: And the agony of de feat, and de legs, and de head…
REPORTER: Back to you.
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, we are ready for kick off, kick off for the SUPER BOWL. Deep is _____ to receive the kick.
A YOUTH APPEARS IN THE TELEVISION SCREEN. AS THIS CONTINUES A FOOTBALL IS SHOVED INTO HIS/HER ARMS. WHEN HE/SHE IS TACKLED ANOTHER YOUTH COMES FROM THE SIDE AND HITS HER/HIM AND THEY DISAPEAR FROM THE SCREEN.
ANNOUNCER #2: He looks ready.
ANNOUNCER #1: Here’s the kick. It’s high and deep. _____ takes it at the 10-yard line and OUUUUUU he is hit immediately. He’s down. It looks like we have our first injury… that will give us a chance to hear from our sponsors.
JAN: Oh, great. An advertisement.
MARK: Yea. I look forward to the advertisements as much as the game.
JAN: They are SOOOO good… wait here comes one….
HARRY: Hi, I’m Harry.
HARRY: And I’m Alice
HARRY: And we’re here to talk with you about hunger.
JAN: Oh that’s a good one.
MARK: Hunger?!
JAN: I wonder what it’s really about?
HARRY: It’s really about hunger
MARK: Huh?
HARRY: It’s really about hunger. On this day when America will spend billions in recreation, and food, and pleasure, tens of thousands will die of starvation and malnutrition.
JAN: Come on… what’s going on here.
HARRY: And all we want you to do is to confess.
ALICE: That’s right, confess.
HARRY: Confess that we are all part of the problem
ALICE: Because if we can confess that, well, maybe we can all be part of the solution.
MARK: Enough of this. Let’s get on with the game.
JAN: I don’t want to hear about hunger, not today,
MARK: And I certainly don’t want to confess.
HARRY: Well, you’re going to.
MARK: It’s talking at us.
JAN: It’s talking back.
HARRY: You bet we are.
ALICE: And you will confess…or… or the game wont’ go on.
MARK: Huh?
HARRY: The game won't’ go on. It’ll stop right here, right after kickoff.
MARK: You’re nuts! I’m nuts. I’m talking back at my TV.
HARRY: In fact. Come on Alice…
MARK: What are you doing?
HARRY: In fact, why don’t I just come out there, and join you until you do confess. (CLIMBING OUT OF THE TV AND COMING TO THEM)
HARRY: Nice place you have here.
MARK: Look, you can’t just come out of that TV and join us in our living room.
HARRY: It does make you uncomfortable. Having the hungry this close.
JAN: We have a game to watch.
HARRY: Not until you confess.
MARK: We confessed this morning.
HARRY: Not so easy. You have to confess that you are part of the problem of world hunger.
MARK: I am not going to confess that.
HARRY: then we’ll just have a seat here.
MARK: That's my seat.
HARRY: Can I have some chips. I really am starving. Literally starving.
JAN: You don’t look it.
HARRY: Yea, that’s the funny thing about hunger, it’s very deceptive.
MARK: This game is going to go on.
FROM SMALL SCREEN
ANNOUNCER #2: No, I’m afraid it’s not.
MARK: Huh?
ANNOUNCER #1: We’re back here at the super bowl, and it seems that there is delay. The game cannot go on, until MARK and JAN confess that they are in fact a part of the problem of world hunger.
MARK: But I can’t do that.
ANNOUNCER #1: There has been resistance to this in the past. The fear is that admitting this means giving up your own food and water.
ANNOUNCER #2: When, in reality, the answer isn’t that simple at all
ANNOUNCER #1: No, indeed it is complicated, but the first step is confession.
HARRY: See, told you,
ALICE: Yea… gotta confess
JAN: Look, we just want to watch a game here.
HARRY: Can I have some chips?
MARK: These are mine. Oh, all right. Now will you leave?
ANNOUNCER #2: Not until you confess. I’m afraid this game is on hold.
ANNOUNCER #1: A holding call. (laughs) That’s good. You crack me up.
MARK: I am not going to confess. This is the Super Bowl. We are ready to simply enjoy ourselves, settle back for the big game, and eat some food. Is there anything wrong with that?
HARRY: Not at all. We want you to enjoy the game. I want to enjoy the game. But you have to do it honestly.
MARK: I am.
HARRY: Not if you aren’t honest about all you have, and all that others don’t have.
JAN: Switch the channel.
ANNOUNCER #2: Sorry that’s not going to work. Let’s go down on the field and see what’s going on. (to REPORTER), are you there?
REPORTER: Yes, I’m here with some of the players, who are simply standing around here at the 50 yard line, waiting for permission to play again. (to PLAYER) what do you think of this?
PLAYER: I agree. We have to own up to our responsibility.
MARK: OH, that’s easy for you. You make millions.
PLAYER: And I give, to hunger programs. And my church.
ANNOUNCER #2: In fact, that’s one way you can make a difference, by giving.
MARK: We all know that doesn’t change a thing.
ANNOUNCER #2: It might change you.
HARRY: Yea, everyone thinks it’s just about us… The starving people. But it’s also about the giver needing to give!
PLAYER: Yea. I like to give. Makes me feel good.
REPORTER: Back to you in the booth.
ANNOUNCER #1: We’re stuck here… until JAN and MARK are honest, and confess that they too have a responsibility regarding world hunger, well, the Super Bowl can’t go on.
MARK: I won’t confess. I didn’t do anything to make people hungry.
HARRY: NO, not directly.
MARK: No, not at all.
HARRY: Not at all? It’s the system baby…and you are a have
ALICE: And we are the have-nots.
HARRY: You are a part of this. Come on, confess it.
MARK: I will not.
JAN: Maybe we should confess, you know, just to get on with the game.
ANNOUNCER #2: There’s an idea.
MARK: Oh that’s like throwing a dollar to the homeless guy.
ANNOUNCER #1: He’s right. We’re asking more.
ANNOUNCER #2: We’re asking for ownership.
ANNOUNCER #1: You know… When did we see thee hungry?
ANNOUNCER #2: When did we see thee naked…
ANNOUNCER #1: When did we reject you.
ANNOUNCER #2: Sort of like a certain Gospel we heard…
MARK: But I don’t want to confess.
HARRY: Why?
MARK: Because it wont’ make a difference. Don’t you understand? I’m frustrated.
ANNOUNCER #1: We all are.
ANNOUNCER #2: I know I am… I want to get on with the game.
ANNOUNCER #1: But we can’t stop being honest. We can’t stop trying. We have to confess.
ANNOUNCER #2: Just because you can’t solve the problem, doesn’t mean it isn’t yours.
MARK: I see what you mean.
ANNOUNCER #1: So, what do you say? A little honesty?
HARRY: A little confession,
ALICE: That hunger is something we ALL need to think about.
HARRY: And need to do something about!
MARK: Can we still watch the game?
ANNOUNCER #1: Sure!
MARK: (mumbling) Ok, I confess…
ANNOUNCER #1: What was that?
MARK: Say it with me…
MARK AND JAN: I confess…
ANNOUNCER #1: What?
MARK: I confess that hunger is also MY problem.
ANNOUNCER #2: That wasn’t so hard.
FOOTBALL PLAYER ON SCREEN: Way to go. Now we can get back to the game!
HARRY: Yea… Come on…
MARK: Well, wait, as long as you are here, do you want a sandwich or something?
HARRY: Sure!
MARK: Come on, we’ll make them. Sit down…
MARK AND JAN EXIT TO THE KITCHEN. ALICE AND HARRY SIT
ALICE: This is nice.
ANNOUNCER #1: Well, action is about to begin.. First and 10 on their own 20 yard line. He takes the snap.
THE PLAYER APPEARS ON THE SCREEN. HOLDS THE BALL. ANOTHER PLAYER CROSSES THE SCREEN AND TAKES HIM DOWN
ANNOUNCER #2: Ouuuu that was ugly. (THE QUARTERBACK PERSON GOT CREAMED)
HARRY: Hey, you know, I heard they were serving some mean soup down at the mission.
ALICE: But we have sandwiches coming.
HARRY: Ahh, let’s let them enjoy the game. I think we made our point.
HARRY: Okay… wait for me.
THEY EXIT
ANNOUNCER #1: You know, Howard Cosell and Dennis Miller (or current commentators) never had to deal with all this.
ANNOUNCER #2: I’m tired… Let’s call it a day.
ANNOUNCER #1: But the game.
ANNOUNCER #2: Oh, it’ll be better with out us… Let’s go…
THEY EXIT
End