A mom took her kids to a restaurant. Her little son asked to say grace. He bowed his head and quite loudly said, “God is good, God is great. Thank you for the food, and I would thank you even more if I got ice cream for dessert. Amen!” Several of the folks at tables nearby laughed - but one woman turned to the mom and said, “That's what's wrong with this country today - kids don't know how to pray. Asking God for ice cream! Why, I never!”
The little boy burst into tears, “Did I do it wrong? Is God mad at me?” The mom was holding him and assured him God was not mad at him. A old man came by and winked at the boy and said, “I happen to know God thought it was a great prayer.” “Really?” the boy asked. “Cross my heart,” the old man replied, and then he added, “too bad that woman never asked God for ice cream. A little ice cream is good for the soul sometimes.”
At the end of the meal the waitress brought ice cream - compliments of the old man. The little boy stared at his ice cream for a moment - then took it over and placed it in front of the rude woman. With a big smile he said, “this is for you. Ice cream is good for the soul - and my soul is good already.” The little boy’s actions spoke very, very loudly even if he didn’t know why.
When Jesus told parables - they sounded very innocent on the surface - but underneath they were about an alternate universe where things were very, very different. Coins and yeast and wheat and sheep and widows and banquets - all things people thought were very, very ordinary declared the power and truth of God. But the only people who understood how powerful these ordinary object were - were those who were listening with their soul and not just their ears!
In Luke 18 Jesus tells this parable: "In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected people. There was a widow who kept coming to him saying, 'Grant me justice against my opponent.' For a while he refused; but later he said to himself, 'Though I do not fear God or respect anyone but myself - because this widow keeps bothering me, I will grant her justice so she doesn’t wear me out by continually bothering me.' ''
Jesus' parables draw you into the story. But as you think about the story - it can be a little frustrating because you can see them from different perspectives. You find yourself asking, “who is the widow and who is the judge and what justice does she want and why is the judge that way and who is the widow’s opponent.” The worst thing you can do with a parable is make it into an A + B = C story - where everything is cut and dried and easily diagrammed. The best way I can put this is - parables are more like football stadiums than classrooms. They are meant to exercise our minds, hearts and souls more than they are to give us something else to memorize. The truth of parables can't easily be contained - nor were they mean to be.
A number of times people have told me, “if you turn your head just right and squint - doesn’t that look just like...” And of course my first thought is, “how did you find that out? Do you always go around with your head tilted and eyes squinting?” But the truth is - as believers that is exactly how we go about our life. This world is upside down and inside out - which means we see things differently than most people.
It's tempting to use the story of the persistent widow as a way to get everything we want in life. If we keep bothering God - always being up in His face and pushing and pushing and pushing our agenda - this parable promises God will grant all our wishes. And there are people out there who think that is what Jesus is saying. They stop with that answer and walk away from the parable believing “the squeaky wheel gets all the attention” - and their spiritual gift is being squeaky.
But here is where we need to tilt our head just right and squint a little. Is that what Jesus wants us to get out of this story? I’ll be honest - it doesn’t sound very Jesus-ish.
We need to talk about the difference between praying for someone and praying with someone. There is a big difference. When I say I am “praying for someone” - it usually means the person I am praying for isn’t a follower of Jesus - they are outside of God’s kingdom. And I am praying for them to find their way inside God’s kingdom where I can begin to pray “with” them instead of just for them. Praying for someone usually means they can’t or won’t pray for themselves.
When I pray “with” someone - I am walking alongside them - I am joining my prayers with theirs. I may not be praying the same way or for the same thing - but they know they are not alone as they seek an answer to whatever is going on in their life. To pray “with” someone is to be a priest. And we may not all be pastors - but if we are a believer we are a priest. A priest stands between God and someone else and brings them together. The biggest reason I need to pray “with” someone is because they are weak or hurt or anxious or confused and want company while they wait for God to speak. The biggest reason I need someone to pray “with” me is because I am too weak or too hurt to pray on my own. I need someone to walk beside me as I wait for God to speak.
When we talk about someone or something being “an answer to our prayers" - what do we mean? Do we believe the only way God answers prayers is when He gives us what we asked for? That would be the answer a lot of people get from our parable. But what happens when we tilt our head and squint a little?
If you don’t know much about C.S. Lewis - you might consider reading one of the books or watching one of the movies about his life. He went from being against God to becoming one of his greatest followers - and the journey was not easy. Well into his life, when most people are retiring - he got married - and not necessarily for the best of reasons - it was more of a rescue. But it also involved love in the purest form. After they were married - his wife, Joy, was diagnosed with terminal cancer - her days were few.
A friend came to visit him and said, “I know how hard you’ve been praying; and now God is answering your prayers.” Lewis replied “That’s not why I pray, Harry. I pray because I can’t help myself. I pray because I’m helpless. I pray because the need flows out of me all the time, waking and sleeping. It doesn’t change God, it changes me.” That is simple and powerful theology.
Luke tells us our parable is about a persistent widow, an unrighteous judge. We know the parable is also about prayer and not giving up or losing hope. But when I tilt my head and squint - I see something else - and it is that something else that we need to pay attention to.
A lot of people assume the widow is us and in our great need for love and forgiveness and grace find ourselves begging before God for justice. That’s where the parable gets complicated - is God really the “unjust judge?” Are you willing to say that “God doesn’t fear Himself or care about people?” - because I’m not. And if we try to make the unjust judge satan - that doesn’t work either.
Tilt your head and squint...can you see yourself as the unjust judge and God as the persistent widow? Remember - parables are about an alternate universe where things are not as they seem - but how they should be. Maybe it is us who fail to fear God or care about others - we may not like to admit it - but that does kind of fit us. And when we are finally worn down by the persistence of a God who longs for justice. At first we give in just because we are tired of God pursuing us. But if we stay at it long enough - we begin to see His justice isn’t about Him - it’s about us. About how He wants to save us from our adversaries of death and hopelessness. And we realize the old widow’s prayer is about saving us from ourselves as well as our adversary.
We pray - not to change God - but so that God can change us. To pray is to allow ourselves to be connected to the persistent longing of God for our soul. Prayer is where God works in and through us until we finally come to realization that He is God and He loves us and He wants us to spend eternity with Him - even if that form of justice involves a cross, His Son and a day of deepest darkness. God uses our prayers to shape us so we are ready to receive His grace.
A number of years ago one of the kids in our church really, really, really wanted a dog. Every night she prayed for a dog. Her parents said she had to wait until they moved back to the Mainland. She didn’t like that answer. She wanted a dog now. She got money for her birthday and when they took her to the store - she bought a dog collar and leash. They tried to talk her out of it - but she said, “someday this collar and leash will have a dog attached to it!” Talk about persistence and vision. I can see God pointing to one of those heavenly dwellings and saying, “someday - it will be filled with...and here is where you insert your name.”
When you pray - and I’m talking about your outloud prayers, your silent prayers, your guttural prayers, your crying, your tears, your angry outbursts - all of it - you are being shaped into a vessel that will be able to hold the answer - no matter what answer God gives - when it comes. Throughout the Bible - godly people find themselves wandering in deserts and going through terrible pain and suffering without cause and being ridiculed and rejected. But in the end - they realized the purpose for their wanderings and experiences was so they would be ready to embrace the answer. A few weeks ago we talked about James and John asking Jesus to make them the most important people in heaven and earth - and Jesus asked, “do you really know what you are asking?” And they said, “yes” - and that’s when Jesus said, “not yet you don’t - but you will.”
And here is where we realize why praying “with” others is so important. Prayer is and always has been about being connected - about a bond that is so strong it can withstand the powers of hell. We cannot claim to believe and be unaffected by what is happening in our neighborhood and world. To pray with each other - and to ask others to pray with us is so we can become “answers to prayers.” And when we pray “for” others - it is so they might join us - not only in our praying - but also in our becoming answers to prayers.
Think of it this way - prayer is relay race. I run as fast as I can - but I can’t run every minute of every day and so I hand the baton off to you and you start running and when you can’t run anymore you hand it off to someone else. This way the race gets finished. It is not important who crosses the finish line - but that someone crosses it.
When we pray with others - we are connected to that person through God and they are connected to us. And through these connections - God gets stuff done. Not necessarily the stuff we think God should do - but the work God knows needs to be done - which at its core is always about redemption and forgiveness and grace and heaven - or as the parable calls it: justice.
John 17 is powerful - and the reason you won’t hear it read a lot in churches is because churches are afraid of it. Right before His crucifixion - Jesus looked out over the Garden of Gethsemane and out over the world and out over all of history - and He saw your face and my face and everyone’s face. And then He prayed this prayer, “I pray that they may all be one as We are one. You, Father in Me and I in You. May they also be one in Us, so the world may believe You sent Me.” The prayer of Jesus is a prayer of connection to Him and to one another. And the purpose of that connection is so the world might believe and be saved.
Prayer comes with a warning. The more you pray - the more you get connected - and often what you are going to be connected to is the suffering and pain and hurt and lostness of the people you are praying with. And this is why it is so important that if you are going to pray - you must be always connected to Jesus - otherwise all of that pain and hurt will consume you. As long as you are in Christ - and He is in you - you’ll be okay. You will have everything you need to be an answer to prayer for those you are praying with and for.
One of the greatest promises of the Bible is - we will always have everything we need to do the work God has given us. And the word always means always. Hold fast to that promise - pray without ceasing - do not lose heart and stay connected. Tilt your head, squint a little and see what God has in store for you - because God always has stuff for you to do. In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.