We think out of the box to live with differences
Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
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We think out of the box to live with differences
“It takes 8 healthy inputs
to receive 1 healthy OUTPUT”
S.M.A.R.T. Chance to Grow Program
What do you want to achieve?
- To get to a dream takes many very tiny steps...
- Each step can have a plan to achieve...
- Take your time and do one step at a time
- Celebrate a step’s success.
- Sometimes along the path to the dream the dream changes and that is okay
- Specific —Take time to answer—who, what, where, when, how come?
- Measurable — How will I know I am getting this done
- Attainable —Can you do this alone or do you need others? Will I need a cognitive translator to help me? What do I need to do to help make this happen.
- Relevant —Does this goal fit with your dream.
- Timeframe — Give yourself process steps to complete – you don’t have to set a date. Jump in and begin – you have a lifetime to continue working on this
Now get S.T.A.R.T.ed
FASD START Steps to Learning –
taught to Jodee Kulp by Ben-Cher’s Makone of Knarlwoods
- Review – check it out!
- Watch only –"Watch me do this.”
- Watch – experience "Watch me and you can help.”
- Experience – watch "This time you can try it.”
- Experience –show "Wow, you can do it! Show me how.”
- Let go – "You can do it! I don't think you will need me much.”
- "I can do it!”
- "I did it!”
Progressive Muscle Relaxation Simplified
What if you could have a FREE ‘liquid relaxation’ poured on your head and down your body. You can use this to de-stress any time.
Here's How:
- Find a quiet place
- Make yourself comfortable
- Tense all the muscles in your face. Inhale and count to eight.
- Now exhale and let your face go completely soft like when you sleep.
- Enjoy the feeling.
- Tense your neck and shoulders. Inhale and count to eight.
- Exhale and relax.
- Tense your tummy and chest. Inhale and count to eight.
- Exhale and relax.
- Tense your butt, legs and feet. Inhale and count to eight.
- Exhale and relax.
Caregivers Stand on the Rock
Life has escalated and negative energy is flowing. Think of this as a safety space for the mind, soul and body of both you and the person you care about.
Here's How:
- Visualize yourself standing on a rock in the middle of the desert or ocean
- Relax and accept where you are
- Listen to the person speaking to you through the presence of the rock
- Hear the reality of what the person is trying to communicate
- Speak to the rock asking for guidance and wisdom in your next behaviors
- Wait. Stay calm. Stay at peace.
- Validate what you heard.
Example:
“Given what you went through in the ______(event, experience), it’s understandable you’d feel ______when someone ______.”
Autogenic Training
- Find a quiet place without distraction.
- Lie down or sit.
- Loosen tight clothing and take off glasses or contacts.
- Rest your hands on your lap or tummy.
- Take a few slow breaths.
- Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
ARMS
- Think about your arms – say softly "My arms are very heavy."
- Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Think about your arms - "My arms are very warm."
- Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
LEGS
- Think about your legs – say softly "My legs are very heavy."
- Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Think about your legs - "My legs are very warm."
- Softly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
HEART
- Think about your heart – say softly "My heartbeat is calm and regular."
- Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
BREATHING
- Think about your breathing – say softly "My breathing is calm and regular."
- Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
TUMMY
- Think about your tummy – say softly "My tummy is warm,"
- Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
FOREHEAD
- Think about your forehead – say softly "My forehead is happy and cool,"
- Softly and slowly say to yourself - "I am calm."
- Repeat this five more times.
Enjoy the feeling of relaxation, warmth and heaviness. When you are ready, softly say to yourself, "Arms firm, breathe deep, open eyes
Teaching Healthy Advocacy and Assertiveness
Practice these tips:
- Don’t believe you know what the intention of the person if you think it is negative.
- Project a receptive but confident body - stand straight, relax and gain eye contact.
- Use a pleasant tone.
- Listen and ask questions! It’s important to understand the other person’s point of view as well.
- Think win-win. Is there a compromise to get both needs met?
Here's How:
- Describe situation clearly without labels, exaggeration or judgment
“When you [their behavior-just the fact no labels, exaggeration, judgment], I feel [your feelings].”
- “When you yell, I feel attacked.”
- “When youarrive late, I have to wait, and I feel frustrated.”
- Describe what is the effect of the behavior
“We were suppose to meet at 12:00, but now it is 12:30.
We will have less time together because I have to be back at one.”
“We were suppose to meet at 12:00, but now it is 12:30.
We will have to eat at a fast food place because I have to be back at one.”
- Use “I Messages”.
Starting a sentence with “You” comes off as a judgment or attack, It puts people on the defensive. Start with “I” so the focus is on how you are feeling and how you are affected by the behavior. This way you own your reaction. Listen to the difference:“You need to stop that!” vs“I’d like it if you’d stop that”vs“Stop.”
Happiness Makers & Ideas to relieve stress
Things that bring happiness also relieve stress
- Exercise – am I having fun
- Pets – does it bring me joy or overwhelm me
- aquariums
- dog
- cat
- bird
- small animals
- reptiles
- Expressing creativity – do I enjoy this
- gardening
- knitting or crocheting
- drawing or painting
- journaling
- cooking
- puzzles
- photography
- scrapbooking
- Supportive friendships – ask yourself
- Can I speak easily and safely to this person?
- Do I think they understand, accept and support me?
- Do I understand, accept and support them?
- Do I feel better or worse about me when we are together?
- When I go home am I happy or stressed?
- Do I include them in my life for positive qualities or just to have more people in my life?
- Keeping an organized home – who can help me and what can I do
- Purposeful life activities
- helpinga person or animal
- working or making a difference in a cause you believe in
- learning something new
Almost and Free Fun
Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
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We think out of the box to live with differences
Too cold or wet for indoor fun
- Bake cookies and share with your favorite people.
- Learn to make a new food dish with a friend,
- Host an openmic night – brew some fancy coffee – there are great flavors and you can do decaf. Give each person mic time to share – poetry – rap – testimony. Push back the living room furniture – put an aerobics class DVD in the player, find one on Netflix or Exercise TV
- Building stuff is fun - have a snow-building contest, a sand-building contest or get some blocks or Legos. It's even more fun when you're trying to win something.
- Have a board or card game night. Invite friends to bring over their favorite games and teach everyone to play.
Community events
- Try something new – look in your community for free festivals, shows, walks, open houses and museum exhibits.
- Visit a farmers market
- Visit a local outdoor art fair
- Visit a flea market
- Visit a museum. Most museums have a day or two out of the week that's free to everyone - check your city guide to see what's going on by you.
- Check out the library for free workshops, events or classes.
- Attend a free concert in your local park
Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at
We think out of the box to live with differences
Nice day for outdoor fun
- Go to the park and play on the jungle gym, slides and swings.
- Go sledding down a nearby hill. No sled? Use a clean plastic garbage can lid, cardboard box or black garbage bag.
- Learn about Letter Boxing or Geo Caching
- Take a dog for a long walk. If you don't have a dog, borrow one from a neighbor. Your neighbor (and the dog) will appreciate it.
- Go on a hike and stop somewhere pretty to write poetry, take photos with your phone or draw a picture.
- Go to the beach, lake or river. Walk the shore, pick up fun things you find, skip rocks in the water. Watch the waves or ripples
- Play basketball in your driveway, in the park, school's playground or anywhere else you can find a hoop—play horse.
- Play tennis or volley ball at free public park court in a public park.
- Play a classic games, like four square, tag, kick the can, kick ball, red rover.
- Ride your bike. Pick your own route.
- Ice skate or Ice fish
- Ride your bike. Join aCritical Mass bike ride scheduled once a month in 300 cities around the world. Examples below to check out.
- Duluth, MN(w) The last Friday of each month, 5:30pmat the statue of Leif Erickson.
Cooperative Cleaning and Up-Cycling
- Up-cycle an old pairs of jeans you never wear into a tote bag
- Get together with friends to share nail polish and unused makeup
- Using old magazines – make a collage card or poster for a friend or yourself
- Paint an old dresser in fun colors
- Work with a friend to clean a closet, room or yard
- Go to Pinterest and find a fun upcycle, do it yourself project you would like to try
- Share in a not-very fun chore with a family member or friend
- Bath a dog or muck a kennel
- Rake or weed a garden
TV, computer, smart phones, tablets
- Make up a good liewthFibbage, like You Don't Know Jack Party, uses smartphones and tablets as game controllers while linking up with the Fire TV for big-screen multiplayer sessions. In it, up to eight players trick one another by filling in the blanks of trivia statements with lies as they see fit. Each round of play lasts seven questions and includes special categories like "Celebrity Tweets" and "Road Trip."
- Borrow a couple of movies from the library. If you don’t like them – who cares they were FREE.
- Trade video games with a friend for a couple of nights or invite some friends over to play video games.
- Watch episodes your favorite TV shows from when you were a kid. has a ton of shows from the past 20 years, and they're all free to watch.There's nothing to download and nothing to pay. Using Hulu couldn't be easier. Just log on to hulu.com; choose a show or movie that you'd like to watch; click play; and the video will load in Flash Player.
- Watch a flip through the stations sporting or competition event. Make it interesting by "betting" on who's going to win. Whoever's right gets to pick the next activity.
- Play some online games with friends or by yourself at Pogo.com is a free online gamingwebsite that offers over 100 casual games from brands like Hasbro and PopCap Games. It offers a variety of card and boardSolitaire,Monopoly, Puzzles, Sports andScrabble.
Un-shopping adventures
- Visit the mall or grocery store with $5.00 and see who can score the best deal or deals with such a little amount of money.
- Visit the mall. See who can get the most things for FREE WITHOUT STEALING! (make-up samples, perfume samples, coupons)
- Visit a department store and have a free make-up makeover – if you don’t have any money for the make-up you REALLY like – take a selfie photo and a picture of the make up with price to save up for later.
- Find a safe place to sit and people watch – mall, public area, park- get.
- Host a clothes swap with friends and create new outfits.
- Host a make a meal day and split it between friends.
Our gift to YOU for attending workshop
Direct links to books by Better Endings
Enter 20% COUPON CODE D98JMDVC
The Best ICan Be Living with FASD by Liz Kulp
Our FAScinating Journey Keys to Brain Potential by Jodee Kulp
Braided Cord Tough Times In and Out by Liz Kulp
Nuzzle – Love between a Boy and his Service Dog by Donnie KanterWinokur
My Invisible World – My Brother, His Disability and His Service Dog by MorashaWinokur
The Whitest Wall by Jodee Kulp
Broken Heart – Dealing with Feelings of Loss and Understanding Grief
Blog at jodeekulp.wordpress.com
email me at