Eliminating “to be” verbs
It isn't "the" be-verb that is the problem. It is the overuse of it. I
think basically the instructor is asking them to search out and try to
discover some new words to use, some colorful verbs to add a bit of interest
to their writing. Also, by replacing some of the "be" forms, students are
often required to "change up" their sentence structure to make their writing
more interesting as well. For example, "The bird is big. Its wings are
colorful, and its beak is sharp. It is a bug eater" is quite dry compared to
"The big bird with colorful wings and sharp beak likes to eat bugs."
I teach 8th grade, and the way I approach is to use a piece of their writing
(just take any student sample). Then I actually model for and with them how
to go about changing it. When I do this, they can, usually, quite easily
recognize the difference in their own writing and in others' writing with
very few reminders after this mini-lesson.
I use an exercise I got several years ago from an NCTE idea exchange. I ask
them to write something of about a page in length. Then they trade with a
partner. The partner reads their paper and circles all the "to be" verbs.
At this point we usually have to go through what thosse verbs are. Then they
need to revise thier piece--without changing the meaning--to eliminate all the
to be verbs.
I use the ever popular "To be or not to be" as an example. The writers who
developed the Klingon language for Star Trek had decided there would be no "to
be" verbs in Klingon, as they were creatures of action. The first thing
they were asked to translate after they decided that was Hamlet's soliloquy. I
am not sure how they translated it, but I translate for my classes this
way--"To live or die! This I ask!"
This does make them more aware of the "to be" verbs after that.
once you look at the link i sent and the further link to eprime, you
should get a good idea where that other teacher is coming from.
to be is a passive verb and says very little, so many of us ask it not be
used so much or even exclusively. instead use active verbs that show
rather than tell. in addition better sentences can be constructed without
it.
the link and link to eprime says a lot about the whole concept.
i'm not sure where i got this exercise:
http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/beverb.html
blocked? haha.
here's the page contents:
De-emphasizing the "Be" Verb
1. Turn the noun after a "be" verb into an appositive, adding additional
information to flesh out the sentence.
Example:
John is a doctor.
John, a doctor, attended Harvard.
My dog is a Great Dane.
My dog, a Great Dane, barks at birds.
2. Move an adjective following a "be" verb to the front of the noun it
describes, adding additional information to complete the sentence.
Example:
When I went to school, I discovered my teacher was demanding.
When I went to school, I discovered my demanding teacher assigned homework
daily.
The lawyer was talented.
The talented lawyer argued the case successfully.
3. When you write a sentence with a "be" verb, ask yourself what the
subject of the "be" verb does, not what the subject is.
Example:
My favorite musician is the most awesome drummer I have ever heard.
Here you tell what the musician is. Ask yourself what the musician does.
What does he do? He plays the drum well.
My favorite musician plays the drum well.
My mother is a great cook.
What does your mother do?
My mother cooks great.
4. Words like "include" and "exist" can sometimes stand in for "be"
especially when your sentence starts with "there" or "here." Sometimes
simply moving words around eliminates the "be."
Examples:
There are three reasons I like pizza.
I like pizza for three reasons.
Three reasons exist for my liking pizza.
Three reasons I like pizza include the cheese, the sauce, and the crust.
5. Watch out for the following:
*Contractions which contain a "be" verb still count as a "be" verb. Watch
out for "it's," "they're." "we're," and other contractions containing
"be."
*After you remove the "be," make sure you still have a complete sentence.
I would rather see "be" verbs than fragments. Sometimes you must add
additional information to complete the sentence.
*Remember, you committ no sin when using "be" verbs. However, active
action verbs add strength to your writing.
*The "be" verbs include am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being.
More at EPrime
http://www.trans4mind.com/personal_development/GeneralSemantics/KensEPrime.htm
A lot depends on how they're using the "be" verb...
If it's "Melanie was sitting in the classroom," that's
okay. The "be" is part of the verb form that signals
the tense. I think it's officially progressive tense,
but without checking its label in a grammar
handbook...
If, on the other hand, the "be" verb is part of a
passive voice phrase... "the light bulb was changed by
John," --technically, passive voice with a transitive
verb that has a direct object (and in this case, an
indirect object), then in college writing and in
on-the-job writing, active voice is usually preferred.
In the light bulb sentence, the instructor would
prefer students to say,
"John changed the light bulb."
If social sciences writing, the Publication Manual of
the American Psychological Association, 5th ed.,
specifically instructs writers to use active voice.
(p. 41, section 2.06) Actually, APA5 calls the
following sentence poor: "Participants were seated in
comfortable chairs," and prefers "Participants sat in
comfortable chairs."
Now, however, in "bad news" business communications,
the passive voice, when used properly, is a way of
conveying bad news while not assessing blame on
anyone. For example, "Mr. Christine's window was
broken" (said by one of my 4 sons who'd been playing
ball together.) Active voice would have been, "Mom,
Bob broke Mr. Christine's window."
The example I use in class on this is --NOT--"You
schmuck. You overdrew your bank account by $20,000"
but instead, "Dear, beloved customer (grin), Your bank
account is overdrawn by $20,000..." Similarly, "we
regret to inform you that the position for which you
applied has been filled." instead of
"we didn't hire you."
U.S. English, and especially business English, prefers
active voice. Some other cultures consider using it as
"in your face" --rude and bossy.
French (and maybe Spanish and/or Portugese) may use
idioms where we'd use "be" verbs.
For instance, I am hungry = English, but "j'ai faim"
in French - I HAVE hunger.
The window was broken by the basketball.
The family dog was eaten by the coyote pack.
My doctor's appointment will be missed by me unless I
stop posting here.
When I began college in 1994, we were told not to use "is" in our Comp 101
writing. It forced us to use other constructions. It's a good exercise. If
you combine the introduction of gerunds and appositives, it will allow
students to learn those uses, as well.
I'm jumping in without reading all the responses with
some quick thoughts:
"To be" verbs are not vivid verbs. Students often are
lazy when they use those. Verbs should generally be
active (passive uses "to be") and vivid. Sentences
should show, not tell. To be verbs tell: She is happy.
Show the reader she is happy through her actions,
emotions, words. It's the overuse of to be verbs that
grates, I believe. For years, I have told students to
get rid of them. I also discourage the constructions
of it was, there was, there were, it is. (Of course
exceptions exist: It was the best of times; it was the
worst of times, comes to mind.) Look at good writing;
it's filled with vivid verbs and is not overburdened
with to be verbs. I generally have students highlight
all of there to be words and then work on revising.
I heard a report on NPR years ago about e-prime, a
language that doesn't use to be verbs at all. (Call me
Kim, not my name is Kim.) Not that I'm advocating
that, just FYI.
think we have to be careful here. the use of "to be" by itself is
passive by definition. when used as a helping verb, a different
construction is is either passive or active defending upon its use in the
sentence.
I was taught by a good teacher.
I was taught English.
the first sentence is passive while the second is active.
however, by definition, all sentences that use the solitary "to be" verb
are passive.
now there are time s when the passive voice works and there are times when
it does not.
it works well in a cook book or a manual about how to do something. it
does not work well in a piece of fiction.
overuse is the problem. using it in five of ten sentences is fine, not
great as long as we get a balance of active sentences too. the passive
voice tends to tell and not to show and we english teachers seem to be
wanting more showing sentences than tellinng sentences.
i thinnk mch of the confusion with the verb "to be" comes from when it is
used alone and when it is used as a helping verb.
so back to the original question about how a teacher underlined all the
"to be" verbs, the exercise in my mind was that the teacher wanted the
students to consider writing better sentences that show rather than tell
and to even perhaps consider more complex sentences rather than simple
sentences or even combining sentences to make more fluent ones a la that
exercise i like and use: http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/beverb.html
and a key caveat on the page: *Remember, you committ no sin when using
"be" verbs. However, active action verbs add strength to your writing.
it is very hard not to use the verb "to be," but there are so many more
words that are so much richer and more descriptive. i interpreted the
original query as one of overuse of the verb "to be" as opposed to not
using it, though from what i heard, the correcting teacher asked they all
be changed. so it becomes a matter of balance.
as for passive vs active verbs, i use :
http://jerz.setonhill.edu/writing/grammar/act-pass.htm
http://www.northampton.edu/office/lc/rw_tutoring/writinghelp/Voice.htm
http://owl.english.purdue.edu/handouts/grammar/g_actpass.html
i don't think it is either one or the other, rather a successful bllend of
the two is when we get fabulous writing. we unfortunately are a profession
of absolutes because of the nature of charges and sizes of our classes and
time we have with them.