Are You What You Wear?
Dress, Appearance and Self
Mitzvot of the self: Tzniut
Written by Amy Dorsch as part of Quad Regional Encampment 2009: Mitzvot
Goals:
- “Image is everything.” Or is it? USYers will explore what messages one’s outward appearance says about a person and how the outside self must reflect the inside self
- USYers will explore the Jewish value of Tzniut (modesty) and discuss how their clothing choices reflect their own expression of self respect.
Objectives/enduring understanding:
- USYers will understand that although it is “what’s on the inside that counts,” appropriate dress and modesty ensures that the true self is reflected and respected.
- USYers will recognize and internalize the relationship of the inside to the outside of one’s self. Through an understanding of Tzniut, USYers will understand how the messages of self respect are conveyed by what they wear.
Materials:
-source packet handouts
-Images found in Facilitator Guide
-Character cards for USY What Not To Wear (2 per team)
-2 large poster papers, markers
Step 1: Create an Experience
“You are What you Wear,” “Image is Everything”
Explain: Teens today are obsessed with image. How often are messages of image, beauty and new expressions of “what’s cool” flashed at you each day?
Are you ever able to pass a mirror and not take a peek? When you first meet someone, how do you decide first impressions?
Image is everything, right? Pass out a number of images (Google images!). We’re going to play a game similar to word association. When you look at each image, name one character trait or lifestyle choice you would assume about this person based on what you see.
Pass out images and solicit responses.
Image 2
Image 3:
Image 4
Image 5
Step 2: Discuss activity
Explain images to the group: more than meet’s the eye
Image 1- this man has 3 children and a law degree. What assumptions did you make?
Image 2- This young man is standing in front of his high school. He’s holding a text book.
Image 3- Where would this young woman be? Have you seen people at school dressed like this? At synagogue? She’s seated on a ledge of her college campus
Image 4- Do these people look like nice kids? Would you be willing to befriend them?
Image 5- is this person popular? Is he nice? Funny? Would you be his friend? Why or why not?
Step 3: Integrate experience and discussion
Explain:
Image isn’t everything, but it does count for something, especially in today’s world. Years ago, no one cared what your design your dress or suit was, as long as you looked “proper and decent.” Laws for modesty were in place compared to today where you can basically wear anything, as long as it’s something!
People in general, but especially teens, make judgments about character according to how they see someone on the outside. Look at what you’re wearing right now. What does your clothing say about you? What would someone looking at you say about you? Ask them to share responses of what people may say about them based on what they’re wearing.
Step 4: Teach the Concept
USY has an international dress code policy. Some people kvetch about it, others don’t really care and just follow it. So, nu? What’s wrong with a tank top? Why can’t I wear leggings?
Defining Tzniut: What it is, what it isn’t.
Tzniut- the Jewish value of modesty (and in this case, modest dress), isn’t about covering yourself from head to toe or covering shame the human body because it is “dirty” or shameful, it is about what message you wish to portray on the outside that reflects self respect on the inside. You can look fashionable and appropriate at the same time.
Hand out Mission Possible source booklet. Flip to sources for Sicha 2: Are You What You Wear?Have them read the page from the USY sourcebook “In God’s Image” on appearance and dress and review the USY dress policy.
The India Arie song lyrics are for fun. If you have time, you can read through it. Arie explains that image doesn’t really matter, that no matter what you wear you are still you. At the same time, we want to point on that what you wear does matter because it should reflect self-respect and the “you” inside, even if you are still yourself with a different outfit on.
Before reading, ask them to note issues or particular points made as they read that they may agree with or by which they may be bothered, and try and understand the points about Tzniut that both Laura Geller and Benjamin Kreitman and Joyce Kreitman are trying to make.
KADIMA: When reading the text, focus only on the section with the Kreitmans’ article on Synagogue Fashion. Activity should focus on appropriate SYNAGOGUE dress for the Bnai Mitzvah crowd.
Focus on the text of the second column and discuss synagogue and dress. Have them paraphrase and apply to real life situations they’ve experienced. For example: do you fight with your mom/dad about what you should wear to a Bat Mitzvah? Why? What point do you think you mom/dad is trying to make when she/he says “it’s not appropriate?”
Examples: “more time is spent examining the nuances of fashion than may have been spent on the nuances of prayer, behavior and repentance [on High Holidays]”.
“What is acceptable in daily life need not and should not be admitted into the synagogue”
Discussion Questions (bolded questions are important to highlight):
- What is the issue withTzniut expressed by Laura Geller? What do the Kreitman’s say about appropriate Synagogue clothing?
- Where do you think the line should be drawn in terms of synagogue clothing? Should synagogues enforce a dress code?
- “Who is to judge what is modest and what is appropriate?” What do you think about this? Would a synagogue policy infringe on people’s rights to express who they are through dress? Does the USY policy infringe on your fashion preferences? Why is there a USY policy in particular? Do you understand the rationale explained?
- “not an issue of modesty, but rather appropriateness in dress.” Agree or disagree. How does modesty make dress aJewish decision?
- Should your dress be different depending on location?
- “more time is spent examining the nuances of fashion than may have been spent on the nuances of prayer, behavior and repentance [on High Holidays]”.
- How does Tzniut convey self respect? Does a really short skirt or a t-shirt with inappropriate language mean the wearer doesn’t respect him/herself? Discuss howappropriate appearance conveys self respect, elf esteemand the Jewish concept of B’tzelem Elohim?
Spend some time really discussing these issues. As the article point out, the idea of modesty is not so black and white. You want to make sure that they understand Tzniut from a perspective of self respect, Btzelem Elohimand appropriateness
Step 5: Practice Defined Givens
Materials: Character cards (2 per team)
2 large poster papers, markers (1 paper per team, 1 side per each character)
USY takes over TLC! What Not To Wear: Tzniut Edition
Explain: One of the best features of the TLC program What Not to Wear, is that they outfit each person not just to what best fits their body, but they dress them fashionable and respectfully while keeping in mind the person’s interests and character traits! They don’t dress an artsy person in a stiff business suit or a 50 year old high school teacher in a biker chains. The clothing choices reflect character content and are respectful and well put together. Let’s try and reflect the inside of the following characters using the song “Video,” the USY dress policy, and texts on Tzniutas background.
Split the group into 2 teams: Team Stacey and Team Clinton (from What Not To Wear).
Give each team 2 USY character to “dress.” Have their draw it out on poster paper (Use front and back). *Males may not take such interest in this activity. Ask the teams to focus less on the ‘design aspect’ and more on the description and concepts behind their ideas. What could be articles of clothing that would depict self respect and tzniut and still “look cool,” or be acceptable for teen standards?
Character cards- tear at the dotted line
Team Stacey
Character 1: This young woman listens to musicand loves to draw. She is artsy and outgoing and hates sports. She likes to relax and be comfortable and can usually be found in sweats and an oversized top. In synagogue, she will wear clothing with tons of color and flare, sparkles and flash. She refuses to put on a skirt but her pants are usually not appropriate for the prayer space.
Design an outfit for her that reflects her sense of self but is also appropriate and modest. How can we have her outside match her inside?
------
Character 2: This young man thinks he’s a rock star. He wears clunky chains and heavy metal t-shirts. His shoes are usually untied and he occasionally adds acolored stripe to his hairstyle. In synagogue, he’ll wear nicer pants but refuses to give up his rock band style shirts, even if they’re torn.
Design an outfit for him that reflects his sense of self but is also respectful, appropriate and modest. How can we have his outside match his inside?
------
Team Clinton
Character 1: This young woman is fun and friendly. She is spirited and energeticand is really into trends. She really appreciates what God has given her and feels she should show it off. She has trouble sitting and bending down without exposing herself but is “okay” with whatever happens to be seen.
Design an outfit for her that reflects his sense of self but is also respectful, appropriate and modest. How can we have her outside match her inside?
------
Character 2: This young man is acasual guy. He isn’t bothered by much and can be described as “chill.” He doesn’t put much effort into his “look” and shows up to a Shabbat dinner wearing jeans with giant holes in them and a shirt with a lewd joke on it.
Design an outfit for him that reflects his sense of self but is also respectful, appropriate and modest. How can we have his outside match his inside?
Step 6: Present and discuss
What Not to Wear Friends and Family Party- present and discuss
Have each group present each character’s new look
Questions:
- When you decided on this person’s new look, how did you choose how to dress him/her? Was it difficult to consider appropriateness while respecting his/her tastes?
- What do you think of a show like What Not To Wear where they redesign a person’s wardrobe based on appropriateness, self respect and yet still keep the person’s tastes and personality in mind? How can you apply this to the Jewish concept of Tzniut?
- Right time, right place- Apply the idea of Tzniut to appropriateness of location and time. Would you wear an “I’m with Stupid” t-shirt to acamp job interview? Than why wear a tube top dress to a prayer service?
- Do you think those you are trying to attract will find you more attractive in particularly inappropriate clothing? Do you think that people dress inappropriately or provocatively for attention or they genuinely like the “look?”
- How would you define Tzniutafter this exercise? It is all about covering yourself up or diminishing self expression or how else could you define it (using the material we read through, including the background to the USY dress code)?
- How can you apply this exercise to yourself? When you choose what to wear in the morning, do you consider appropriateness at all? Other than the opinion of others, what do you consider when you decide how to present yourself on the outside? How can you think about your inside and make it match your outside and really ensure you are dressing appropriately and respectfully?
Step 7: Apply to a new concept
Clothing doesn’t “make the man”, but should still portray self respect and decency. When you go home (or even back to the bunk), try a “closet analysis.” Pull a Stacey and Clinton and decide on a few items to give to Good Will that do not reflect the same messages of Tzniut, self respect and appropriateness or really don’t speak to who you are. Be honest with yourself and understand the message behind your clothing choices. Remember that in today’s world, you are what you wear so…wear with care!
HANDOUTS BELOW
*optional*
Are You What You Wear?
Mitzvot of the Self: Tzniut
India Arie – “Video” lyrics
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I don't
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I won't
Depend of how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
[Chorus]
I'm not the average girl from your video
And I ain't built like a supermodel
But I learned to love myself unconditionally,
Because I am a queen
I not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what I'm wearing I will always be
India.Arie
When I look in the mirror and the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where it's suppose to be
And I know my creator didn't make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes, I'm loving what I see
[Chorus]
Am I less of a lady if I don't wear panty hose
My momma said a lady ain't what she wears but what she knows
But I've drawn the conclusion, it's all an illusion
Confusion's the name of the game
A misconception, a mass deception,
Something gottachange
Now don't be offended this is all my opinion
Ain't nothing that I'm saying law
This is a true confession
Of a life learned lesson
I was sent here to share with y'all
So get in when you fit in
Go on and shine
Clear your mind
Now's the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
Cause everything's gonna be alright
[Chorus]
Keep your fancy drink, and your expensive minks
I don't need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive cars and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your crystal and your pistol
I'd rather have a pretty piece of crystal
What God gave me is just fine
Are You What You Wear?
Mitzvot of the Self: Tzniut
Excerpted from “In God’s Image” by Bernard Novick (a USY Publication). Begin reading with the paragraph following the questions at the top, that starts with “One of the issues…”
Are You What You Wear?
Mitzvot of the Self: Tzniut
Recall (just in case you didn’t already know):
Appropriate Dress Policy for United Synagogue Youth
Beresheit 1:27
כזוַיִּבְרָא אֱלֹהִים אֶת-הָאָדָםבְּצַלְמוֹ, בְּצֶלֶם אֱלֹהִים בָּרָא אֹתוֹ:זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה, בָּרָא אֹתָם. / And God created man in His own image, in the image of God created He him; male and female created He them.Tzniut (modesty) is a long-standing Jewish value. As a people who see ourselves as reflecting the image of God, our Jewish community believes we should act accordingly; thus, some things are not appropriate, for they do not reflect our Jewish values. How we dress is a basic example of these values.
“The privacy which Judaism requires of sex (in Hebrew, tzniut, modesty) affects our clothing, or speech, and our publicactivities. We may dress in accord with the styles of the times, but never should our apparel accentuate the sexually arousing parts of our bodies. Thus sexually suggestive or revealing clothes for either men or women are not in keeping with Jewish law or sensibilities.” (Rabbinical Assembly, Rabbinic Letter on Intimate Relations).
This policy represents the minimum expectations for modest and appropriate dress at USY events. It is divided into two sections, one for all USY activities and the other for Shabbat. We have included only the section for all USY activities. Your Regional Youth Director will have additional expectations for Shabbat dress.