A few years ago, the Community Foundation did an official tally, and they reported that there were over a thousand nonprofits in San Luis Obispo County. Which really boggles the mind, and begs the question: What are they all doing? So as a bit of a public service tonight, and to satisfy my own curiosity, I thought I would get out into the community, ask around, look under a few rocks, and learn what some of these little-known nonprofits are up to. So here are some of the programs taking place that may not be on your radar. For instance…
The Bubblegum Alley Genome Project. Researchers are hoping to recover and separate DNA from all the samples in the alley, and then construct a historical timeline of the entire Central Coast along with detailed family trees for several prominent California families—and it’s very exciting work, they are literally racing the clock, because they’re trying to accomplish all of this before they get too grossed out and have to stop.
The Preventative Municipal Depression Clinic. They’ve been established to address the question of what we’re all going to do come the day we are no longer considered The Happiest Place on Earth to Live. Can we learn to live with being a Pretty Happy Place on Earth, or a Happier Than Most Places Place on Earth? Or, as an entire community, are we going to be wandering around like abitter Tennessee Williams character, with a cigarette and a drink, muttering about how “We were so happy, Goddamnit!” This is important work, I think we can all agree.
As many of you know, there is a serious environmental issue in Morro Bay, especially around the Harbor and the Embarcadero. I’m referring, of course, to the growing number of abandoned sourdough bread bowls. Children and tourists eat at most half of their clam chowder, and then chuck these hollowed out loaves away, and they pile up in trash bins and alleyways, contributing to seagull overpopulation. A new grassroots organization, Bowls for Bumps, is currently collecting all these uneaten bread bowls, reinforcing them with vulcanized rubber, and then lining them up to create speed bumps in residential areas with too much commuter traffic.
Marijuana Legalization Coalition. This group is still forming, but they have already asked Spokes for help with their mission statement, they sent us a very early draft:
The MLC is dedicated to local community outreach and dynamic, aggressive advocacy for state-wide policy change
along with the responsible, legal distribution of medical marijuana
and adedication to local community outreach and dynamic, aggressive advocacy for state-wide policy change.
Wait, did we just say that?
OK, does anybody want to order food?
It’s a work in progress, of course.
The Hotline Hotline. This is for staff and volunteers who are manning hot lines throughout the county and are not getting any calls and are really starting to get bored and a little frustrated and questioning the whole time commitment thing and they need someone to talk with about it.
Happyface Charter Elementary School is a bold attempt to teach classical curriculum and the great books, and combine it with the integrated use of emoticons. Now, as an English Major, I was skeptical about the whole idea. But they recently sent to our offices a book report by one of their 5th graders on “Romeo and Juliet”which I thought I would share with you right now.
How about that? Let’s hear it for the kids.
Many of you may be aware that in the last year, the Snowy Plover Emergency Response Line was established to benefit that beloved endangered species down on the Oceano Dunes. First reports indicate that resource simply wasn’t used very often, and now they’ve created the Snowy Plover Digital Literacy Council which is training Snowy Plovers how to peck out the Response Line number on a cell phone, should they find themselves in danger.
And while we’re talking about Help Lines, here’s one I’m very excited about: the Out the Door Crisis Center. This is a hotline for people who are all set to go and can’t find their keys. I’m not clear what kind of technology they’re going to use, but I think it’s a wonderful idea and if I had it I would have been on time tonight.
And I just want to wrap up with a few quick mentions:
The CARL fund, which is Communities and Real Learning.
The JANE fund, which is Juveniles Advancing through New Enterprises.
And The TODD fund.
Which doesn’t actually stand for anything. It’s just a guy named Todd. I don’t know how he got himself declared a 501c3, but apparently he wants to redo his backyard, and acquire a set of Tiki torches. I’m not sure that SPOKES can help him.
Anyway, that gives you maybe a little bigger picture of the nonprofit pool we all swim in. And now back to our prime time messages.