JOINING TOGETHER IN LOVE

Starting a New Marriage Encounter Community

SECTION 7

CONTINUING THE JOURNEY PILLAR

______COMMUNITY ______DIOCESE

COMMUNITY/CIRCLE HANDBOOK

Table of ContentsPage

  1. Introduction
  • WWME Mission Statement3
  • Community/Circle Mission Statement4
  • Goals of a Community/Circle5
  • Prosperous Community/Circle versus Weak Community/Circle6
  1. Community/Circle Meeting
  • Meeting Guidelines & Agenda7
  • Rules for Sharing8
  1. Presentations
  • Presentation Tips9
  • Formation Presentations
  • Mission / Vision Presentation10
  • Prayer Couple Presentation11
  • The Importance of Sharing12
  • Inviting13
  • The Importance of Community16
  • Relationship Presentations

WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER

VISION:

Love one another as I have loved you.

MISSION STATEMENT:

WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER’S mission of renewal in the

Church and change in the world is to assist couples and priests to live fully

intimate and responsible relationships by providing them with a Catholic

“experience” and ongoing community support for such a lifestyle.

Seoul – January, 1995

Adopted by the U. S. Secretariat January, 1996 – Dallas, Texas

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COMMUNITY/CIRCLE HANDBOOK AUG 15, 2004

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COMMUNITY/CIRCLE MISSION STATEMENT

Community/Circle is a monthly gathering that provides support of sacramental spirituality through presentation, dialogue, prayer, sexuality, journeying with others with similar values & reevaluation.

Community/Circle provides enthusiastic support for the Weekend by being focused on the values and mission of Worldwide Marriage Encounter.

Community/Circle extends to its members the Lord’s call to be Open & Apostolic

  • inviting and encouraging members to help strengthen the Marriage Encounter Community
  • being actively involved in promoting the Weekend through the local inviting structure
  • supporting the Weekend as prayer sponsors or by participating in a prayer vigil for couples/priests/religious
  • inviting members to consider other “ministries” in the community
  • “angeling” new couples/priests/religious into Community/Circle

Through Community/Circle we hear and act on the final instruction:

“Go forth to Love & Serve”.

Goals of Community/Circle

  1. To renew the Church by showing and sharing our love with others.
  1. To unite in community and sincerely try, as couples/priests/religious, to develop our spirituality through daily dialogue, sexuality and prayer.
  1. To invite to the Weekend which allows us to spread our special gift of the Weekend to couples, priests and religious.
  1. To provide monthly presentations that are challenging and motivating.
  1. To enthusiastically support the needs of the Weekend (ie responding to the Friday / Sunday night greeting, being a prayer couple for a couple/priest/religious, taking an hour on the 44 hour prayer vigil) and to support each other as we face the struggles in today’s modern world.
  1. To encourage couples/priests/religious to be open and apostolic in seeding God’s plan in their relationship.
  1. To recognize and call forth gifts that couples/priest/religious possess that benefit the WWME community.
  1. To accept responsibility as part of the WWME Community by participating in community sponsored events.
  1. To include family in community events.

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WHAT STRENGTHENS AWHAT WEAKENS A COMMUNITY/CIRCLE COMMUNITY/CIRCLE
  1. Focus on relationship1. Focus is only on socializing

** Be a Couple****Relationship Takes a Back Seat**

  1. Couples care about each other2. Gossip

** Be Lovers****Negative talk about others**

  1. Couples believe in dialogue3. Couples are not committed to dialogue

** Be Dialoguers****Commitment of Other Couples Weakened**

  1. Gathering format is followed4. Gathering format not followed

** Be Faithful to Schedule****Gathering Becomes Long**

**Erratic Schedule Inhibits New Members**

  1. Guidelines for sharing followed5. Sharing guidelines not followed

**Establish a Quiet Atmosphere****Sharing is Inhibited, Intimidating**

  1. Sharings are accepted as gifts6. Sharings are answered

**Be a Good Listener****Sharing is Looked at as Problems**

  1. New couples are special7. Community/Circle becomes “cliquish or closed”

**Welcome New Couples Enthusiastically****Inward Focused Community/Circle**

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COMMUNITY/CIRCLE MEETING GUIDELINES & AGENDA

  • Send a monthly invitation for Community/Circle Meeting to all couples/priests/religious. Make sure the words Worldwide Marriage Encounter are included on the invitation.
  • Greet attendees as they arrive. Be sensitive to new couples/priests/religious. (Couple hugs for example)
  • Begin the meeting on time
  • Begin with a prayer or prayer service (can be delegated or part of volunteer sign up process)
  • Read the WWME Vision and Mission.
  • Introduce new couples/priests/religious. Everyone should wear nametags.

BUSINESS PORTION OF THE MEETING – MAX 20 MINUTES*

  • Announce dates of upcoming Weekends.
  • Allow Prayer Couple Coordinator and Prayer Vigil Coordinator to attain prayer couples
  • Encourage attendance at welcoming Sacraments to the weekend and especially the Sing-out (Afterglow)
  • Encourage inviting for the weekends.
  • Allow Community/Circle Inviting Coordinator time to advise on upcoming pulpits or other inviting events or
  • To plan an inviting event sponsored by the Community/Circle
  • Announce information regarding upcoming events
  • Announce Wedding and Encounter anniversaries for the month
  • Circulate Presentation/Hosting sheet to solicit volunteers

PRESENTATION, 10/10 & OPEN SHARING

  • Presentation 15 – 20 min max
  • 10/10
  • Review the “Rules for Sharing”
  • Open sharing 30 min max
  • Helpful to announce that you will end the sharing by _____ time.

CLOSING

  • Announce location and date of next meeting
  • Prayer and petitions – invite open prayer petitions
  • Song (if desired).
  • Thank everyone for coming and adjourn for fellowship and snacks. (open ended time)

*Business and Presentation sections may be interchanged.

Rules for Sharing

  • Open sharing is voluntary. No one is required to share; however, what you share might help others in the group.
  • Everything shared at Community/Circle is confidential
  • Please don’t comment on someone else’s sharing.
  • Stick to the sharing question and focus on sharing your feelings.
  • Share for yourself with “I” or “me” messages.
  • Please don’t interrupt or finish someone’s sentence.
  • Please don’t offer solutions. This is a time for listening & understanding – not fixing.
  • Avoid saying “I agree or disagree”. Please don’t judge a sharing.
  • Avoid witty remarks or comments in an attempt to ease the situation or change the subject. Such comments can discourage the person from sharing again.
  • Avoid preaching, using “you should” or “you can’t” statements.
  • Try not to be uncomfortable with periods of silence. Some personality styles need time to process or formulate what they want to share.
  • Share your feelings fully, but allow time for all to share.
  • Listen without your motor running, with an open heart. We all want to be listened to.

Presentation Tips

Two types of community presentations follow this page:

  • Formation Presentations
  • Relationship Presentations

Formation Presentations are based around topics that provide ongoing community support for the Worldwide Marriage Encounter movement. It is suggested that communities utilize these presentations on a regular basis. This means that some community couples might hear a presentation on the same topic every year. This is not necessarily bad, as formation needs to be ongoing. The Formation Presentation outlines that follow should be used as a guideline and can be adapted as needed. A potential Formation Presentation schedule might be:

JanuaryMission / Vision Presentation

MarchPrayer Couple Presentation

MayThe Importance of Sharing

AugustInviting

NovemberThe Importance of Community

This is a suggested one-year schedule, but may be presented over an 18-month period, as needed.

Relationship Presentations focus on the ongoing enhancement of our relationship with God, our spouse and the church. These presentations can be done at anytime.

WWME MISSION / VISION PRESENTATION

INTRODUCTION: As Encountered sacraments, we are all called to support the Mission and Vision of Worldwide Marriage Encounter (WWME). In this presentation we will look at what that means and explore ways in which we can do so on a daily basis.

PART ONE: What is the Mission & Vision of WWME?

  1. Define what a Mission Statement is? Define a Vision.
  2. What is the meaning of each of these?
  3. What do these mean to you?
  1. WWME Vision:
  2. Read the Vision Statement – “Love one another as I have loved you.”
  3. Describe what this means to you.
  1. WWME Mission:
  2. Read the Mission Statement:

-“WORLDWIDE MARRIAGE ENCOUNTER’S mission of renewal in the Church and change in the world is to assist couples and priests to live fully intimate and responsible relationships by providing them with a Catholic “experience” and ongoing community support for such a lifestyle.”

  1. Describe what this means to you. Breaking this up in to segments might be helpful.

PART TWO: Living out the WWME Mission

  1. How do you, as a community couple, live out this mission?
  2. What do you do to support the Weekends? What do you see others do? HDIFAT?
  3. What do you do to support your community? What do you see others do? HDIFAT?
  1. In what other ways can you support the Mission? HDIFAT?

10 AND 10: In what way (s) do I take ownership in the Marriage Encounter Mission statement? How do I feel about my answer?

SHARING QUESTION: How do I or don’t I live out the Marriage Encounter Mission.

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE PRAYER COUPLE

INTRODUCTION: As Encountered sacraments, we are called to a constant journey toward intimacy and unity in our spousal relationship. We will never arrive, and we cannot travel alone. We need the love and support of others with similar values, to journey with us. The Sacrament, who are praying and sacrificing, not only for the intention of the Weekend, but for a special couple in particular, are called to share their journey with others after the Weekend. In this presentation, we will stress the importance of this ministry and provide formation on how to be the best prayer couple we can be.

PART ONE: Our First Experience with Our Prayer Couple (5 Minutes)

  1. Describe your thoughts and feelings when you heard a couple was praying for you while you were on the Weekend.
  1. Getting your prayer letter.
  2. What did your couple write to you? (You might want to read your letter to the group.)
  3. Describe your thoughts and feelings when you read your letter.
  1. Meeting your prayer couple.
  2. Did you meet your couple at the end of the Weekend? How did you feel about that?
  3. If you didn’t meet your couple at the end of the Weekend, did someone else greet you? How did you feel when you did meet your prayer couple? Describe feelings in detail.

PART TWO: The prayer Couple Ministry (5 minutes)

1.Discuss the importance of the Prayer Couple.

b.Write a meaningful, loving Prayer Letter.

b.Attend the “sing out” at the end of their Weekend.

b.Provide the bridging into Community for the newly Encounter Sacrament

2.Give examples of actions you can take as a prayer couple (writing a Prayer Letter, getting the couple to community, etc.)

b.Use personal examples if possible;

b.Use examples from Prayer Couple Brochure.

10 AND 10: Think back to your Weekend to the time you read your prayer letter and met your prayer couple. How do I feel recalling this? Describe this feeling in loving detail.

SHARING QUESTION: Share your dialogue or share an experience you have had being a prayer couple.

The Importance of Sharing

INTRODUCTION: Part of our mission statement is to provide ongoing community support to live the Marriage Encounter lifestyle. Meeting this responsibility involves a variety of activities. One of the most important is to build relationships with couples and priests that are built on the same communication technique of sharing feelings and striving to be vulnerable enough to enhance intimacy. Community/sharing groups encourage this model through the group sharing in a way that avoids conversation or consultation and is accepting of all sharing. In this presentation, we will stress that reaching this goal is a process that is worth the journey.

PART ONE:Surviving the Introduction to Sharing (5 Minutes)

1. Describe your thoughts and feelings when the idea of group sharing was first explained to you.

2. How did you feel while you participated in the first group sharing? Did you share?

3. What impact did the sharing of other couples have on your early comfort level in the group? Describe your feelings as you left the first meeting.

PART TWO: The Growth of Intimacy (5-7 Minutes)

1. Discuss the benefits you gained from sharing:

a. Intimate connection with the group in a short time

1. Relief that you are not alone.

2. Revealing feelings that would never come up in normal conversation.

3. Experiencing the acceptance of others for your feelings through their ability

to listen without counseling or rebuttal.

  1. Accepting couples who are not ready to share or are in a difficult place

tonight.

b.Reinforcing the communication technique of using feelings.

c. Growth of Community/Sharing group into a Marriage Encounter family through being vulnerable enough to expose our struggles.

2.Describe a time that you shared on a difficult issue and what were your feelings afterward?

10 AND 10: Think back to your first exposure to group sharing. Now remember our last meeting. Has your feeling about sharing changed? HDIFAT?

SHARING QUESTION: When is sharing the toughest for me? How do I feel about that?

Purpose of Inviting (Inviting Presentation 1)

INTRODUCTION:The continued growth of Worldwide Marriage Encounter falls to those that have been Encountered. If we, who have been Encountered, do not continue to invite other couples to experience what we have found, the WWME movement will eventually die. People are hesitant about trying new things and unless asked will not take part in new ideas. The purposes of inviting others to the Weekend include:

  • Share the ME experience
  • Continue the growth of ME
  • Renewal of the Church

PART ONE: Your Original Invitation and Other Inviting Methods

1. Describe your thoughts and feelings about your marriage.

  1. Give examples of how your marriage was before ME (was something was missing?)
  2. Describe how you found out about ME and what motivated you to make the weekend.
  3. Express appreciation for how you were invited or how you found out about ME.

2.Describe different ways of inviting. Share your experiences and feelings.

  1. Mass Talks;
  2. Romance Dinners;
  3. Bulletin Announcements;
  4. Personal Inviting;
  5. Media articles;
  6. Others.
PART TWO: Difficulties and Benefits of Inviting
  1. Share your difficulties and struggles with inviting.
  2. Some of the fears you have encountered in inviting.
  3. How did you deal with your difficulties?
  1. Share the benefits of inviting.

a. For you personally;

b. For the Community;

  1. For WWME;
  2. For the Church.

3. Describe how you were looking for a renewal for your marriage.

  1. Encourage others to overcome the natural fear of rejection;
  2. Suggest they use some of the inviting programs available.

10/10: Jesus invited the apostles to come follow Me. Do I think that I have been invited to follow Jesus through World Wide Marriage Encounter and should I pass this invitation on to others? HDIFAMA?

Sharing Question: Share on the 10/10 question or share on personal inviting experiences.

INVITING PRESENTATION 2

INTRODUCTION: All married couples, priests and religious who have made a Marriage Encounter weekend were invited by someone or some message. Often, those who make a weekend are overflowing with thankfulness after the experience because it has been valuable to them. It is not always possible to give anything to those who originally invited them to the experience, and so they pay their gratitude forward by inviting others (family, friends, acquaintances and even strangers) to make a weekend. This process of encouraging others to participate involves some risk of rejection, but also can result in much joy for those who accept the invitation. Those who invited in the past made it possible for those of us in the present to make a weekend, and through our present inviting efforts, we can make the weekend experience possible for those in the future. Through this presentation, we hope to rekindle enthusiasm for inviting and offer new information to spur community members to action.

PART I: OUR EXPERIENCE AS THE INVITED

  1. Recall how you were originally invited to the weekend (1-2 minutes each)

1.Briefly include the state of your relationship at the time, the circumstances of the inviting, and how your inviters touched you with their offer.

  1. Share how you felt when the two of you agreed to go. (1 minute each)

PART II: INVITING AS MINISTRY

A. Discuss personal growth, new learning and/or changes in your life since your weekend

which motivate you to invite others. (1-2 minutes)

B. Share how you felt when another couple, priest or religious agreed to make a weekend

in response to your invitation. (1 minute each)

  1. Share any other reason(s) why you believe it is important to invite others to make a weekend. (1-2 minutes each)
  2. Describe a time when you successfully overcame your own reluctance/insecurity about inviting others to the weekend. Share your strategy. (1-2 minutes each)

PART III: WAYS TO INVITE

A. Share about a favorite personal inviting experience 1 to 1. Be specific about what

actions were taken, words that were used, props (brochures, date cards, registration

gift certificates etc), circumstances and what the experience meant to you. (1-2

minutes each spouse)

B. Share what a favorite community inviting looks like. Include preparation, task

sharing, pictures, interaction of couples (fun) benefits and feelings after the experience. (1-2 minutes each spouse)

C. Hand out a 5x8 index card with a list of many possible ways to invite divided into

three categories: 1 to 1 personal inviting, Community Inviting and Public Inviting.

A half sheet of paper will do, but the card will last longer and can serve as a reminder

on refrigerators. It should be stressed that these ways are suggestions, not a complete

list of ways to invite. The list can also be printed two/ three to a pageand printed on