Believing Witnesses
John 20:19-31
Every once in a while, you come across a quote that you want to tuck away for a special occasion. Or, maybe, it’s just preachers who do that. A few years ago I found one that is a doozy. It is fairly dark and pessimistic, and I am usually in the business of talking about light and hope, so I have had to keep in stored away until just the right moment. And our reading for today practically begs for this quote.
I found it inan interview with an actor who was a regular on a soap opera that has since gone off the air. He was trying to explain how his character was going to deal with all the twists and turns in the plot that were part of the story line. It was very twisty plot that required viewers to know the backstory of other characters, with all of their twists and turns as well, before it would make any sense. Fortunately, soap viewers tend to be invested in their stories, and they enjoy the twists and turns from the inside.
It seems that the character’s ex-wife, who was thought to be dead, had actually been hiding for the last 4 years. Her half-sister, who had come to town pretending to be the ex-dead wife, had kept the secret that the ex-wife wasn’t really dead, even as it tore the family apart. His step-son of the dead ex-wife now returned from the grave had been lashing out at everyone, out of his sense of being abandoned by his mother, the aforementioned, ex-dead, ex-wife.
You throw into the story some surrogate pregnancies and stolen babies, along with persons who lash out rather than reach out, and you get the idea of what this character is facing. The actor summed up his character’s viewpoint on all this by saying (and this is the quote), “All the word is a toilet, and we are just swimming laps.”
It can certainly seem that way in life – to most people, in most places, most of the time. We are working as hard as we can to keep from drowning in “stuff,” only to discover that is a closed system and there is no way out. The only thing worse that swimming in the stuff is not swimming at all.
Our lives can feel like that when we are worried about job security, and the rise in taxes, and the cost of college educations, and the threats of terrorism, and the frailty of our bodies, and on and on and on. We look to those in power, and we see the deal-making, and the ethical lapses, and the compromising for personal gain, and the polarization of society, and it can be easy to believe that “the world is a toilet and we are just swimming laps.”
If flush toilets had been available then, I think the disciples in our reading would agree with that assessment of the world. In the week before our reading, they had seen the people turn against their rabbi. They had seen a member of their group betray him. They had seen the soldiers arrest him, the religious leaders accuse him, and the Romans sanction his death on the grounds that he and his followers were a threat to the Roman peace, as well as a heresy before God. Their world was a toilet, and it was all they could do to keep from drowning in it.
Because of Roman policy, as followers of Jesus, they knew they faced the same death sentence if caught. There would be no trial, no due process, no appeals – just shame and ridicule and crucifixion. Theflush handle had been pushed, the water was swirling, and the disciples were swimming as fast as they could, but the current was definitely against them.
And just when they thought it couldn’t get any worse, they received word that their dead ex-leader was now returned from the grave. At least one member of the group, the one called the Twin, thinks there may be an imposter, someone else who looks like their potentially ex-dead ex-leader. Throw in some rumors of pay-offs and stolen bodies,and you have the closed system that is threatening to take the disciples under.
If this was on television, at this point in the story there would be a break for a commercial. We don’t want the story to end with the good guys getting flushed away. We want there to be a resolution, a happy ending, to the story. Without it, we know that we will likely be in line for the next big flushing. We are invested in this story, with all of its twists and turns, and the unlikely and larger than life situations that seem to follow the disciples wherever they go.
One of the predictable gimmicks of soap operas is what Pam and I call “commercial face.” This is a close-up poseof one of the main characters,which is a slightly less dramatic version of “end-of-show face” and “cliff-hanger face.” It’s that pause in the action when we are asked to look atthe concern and doubt on a character’s face. The soap wants us to make a connection, to feel the same concern and doubt, so that we will have a reason to come back to the story after the commercial.
Our gospel story needs a commercial face right about now. After all, many people have just seen the best resolution to a story line ever. Jesus was betrayed, arrested, dead, and buried. But Jesus appears to the disciples behind closed doors, and we can see it in their faces – it is time we go to commercial.
This is a twist that the world never saw coming. There is happiness. There is peace. This is a resolution that is too good to believe. We need to stay tuned in, to check and see if this was wishful thinking or a dream sequence. And the gospel picks up the story one week later, with Thomas standing in for our interest in the story.
And we need Thomas to be there. Thomas, like most people today, is still convinced that the world is a toilet, and we are all just swimming laps. Ex-dead, ex-leaders just don’t show up behind locked doors offering peace and forgiveness to ex-friends who ran away in the ex-dead, ex-leader’s time of need. A story that outrageous is going to take some proof if we want to be certain that we are not being played for fools.
Thomas demands a pretty high level of proof before he will believe this latest twist in the story of God’s people. Thomas wants to see the marks in the hands of Jesus, the marks made by the nails of the crucifixion. People today often ask for the same level of proof before they will believe. They ask, “What’s in it for me?” They ask, “Does believing work to make me richer, stronger, better?” They ask, “Is there any other possible explanation, because if there is, that’s the one I will believe.”
Thomas, like most people today, wants to be certainabout Jesus being raised from the dead. He wants to be certain because he has at least two problems with believing the Jesus is risen.
The first is the one most people stumble over. Dead people don’t come back to life – at least, not after three days dead they don’t. Seeing proof that the person claiming to be Jesus really suffered and died would go a long way towards overcoming this objection. But seeing the marks in the hands and the wound in the side of Jesus would do nothing for the second problem.
After swimming in the toilet of life, Thomas knows that peace and forgiveness are not acceptable responses to betrayal and desertion. People can talk about love and forgiveness all they want when things are going well, but it all goes out the door when you are the one suffering.
The smell in his nose, the slosh in his ears, the taste in his mouth, the sights in his eye all remind Thomas that he is still swimming in the toilet. There is nothing peaceful about living in a world where someone like Jesus can be crucified. There is nothing forgivable about a closed system set up to keep you down. Thomas knows this, the Romans know this, Pharisees know this, and every politician wanting to look tough enough to be a world leader knows it.
We all know that when someone smacks you down, the only acceptable response in this world is to smack them back. Jesus had been flogged, crucified, and buried – and if it is true that he is back from the dead, Thomas and everyone else expects a response that is at least an eye-for-an-eye and a tooth-for-a-tooth. If Jesus is really alive, then he must be really ticked off.
A more likely response expected is to take it up a notch or two to dissuade someone from ever messing with you again. Thomas would be more likely to believe Jesus is back if he came declaring that the world had their chance, they blew it, and now the army of angels is ready for God’s holy smack-down. Thomas would be more likely to believe Jesus is back if he came declaring that Thomas and the other disciples now had to pay for their desertion and betrayal.
In other words, based on his considerable experience gained from swimming in the toilet of life, Thomas had serious doubts that peace and forgiveness would really be the response of an ex-dead ex-leader. We see his commercial face, we see his doubt and concern, and we come back to the story after the commercial.
The invitation of the other disciples gets Thomas to show up the next week. Nothing that happened during the week would have changed his mind about the world and what the world did to Jesus. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”
Jesus then offers to Thomas the test to overcome his first problem: “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side.” It is clear that this really is Jesus, the one who was crucified, dead, and buried.
We miss that Jesus then helps Thomas with his second problem. We miss it because the answer is all shoved together with the first problem. Jesus asks Thomas to believe the peace that he has offered to his disciples. Believe the forgiveness. Believe the new life. Jesus says, “Do not doubt but believe.”
There comes a moment when we either accept the assurance or we walk away because we are uncertain. There comes a moment when we believe we are forgiven or we hang on to the guilt. This is the moment when, as Jesus said to the other disciples the week before, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.”
That forgiveness of sins, or the retention of sins, begins with us. Can Thomas forgive himself for deserting Jesus, or does he hold on to it? That sounds like a simple choice to make, but it one we struggle with every day.
With forgiveness comes peace and assurance. With retention comes swimming more laps around the toilet. With forgiveness comes new life with Christ. With retention comes an endless cycle of smacking and being smacked. With forgiveness eternity is opened up to the life of paradise God intended. With retention the system is closed with more of the same old stuff to swim in.
The difference between the toilet and paradise is belief in Jesus Christ. We know how Thomas chooses when he declares, “My Lord and my God!” And that is the same choice for us today. We are either believing witnesses to the grace and love of Jesus Christ to forgive and redeem, or we are swimmers in the toilet. That’s the promise given to us in our reading: “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”
We may never be certain exactly what happened, and how it happened, on Easter morning – but we can be assured that Jesus Christ is risen by asking him to live in our hearts. We may never be certain exactly how Jesus could appear behind closed doors, but we can be assured that even our locked hearts are no barrier to his love and forgiveness. We may never be certain exactly why Jesus has mercy on us, but we can be assured that in his mercy we are called to life in the kingdom of God.
We don’t have to do laps any longer, but the choice is still ours to make. We can be reborn into the kingdom of God. We can receive the assurance that Jesus is risen, that he loves us, that he forgives us, and that he gives us his peace.
UMH 372 “How Can We Sinners Know”