This Paper Was Awarded a 4 Because Although It Is a Well-Organized Response, It Uses

Comment

This paper was awarded a 4 because although it is a well-organized response, it uses

simplistic language and sentence structure. Content, while lacking depth, is adequate.

The challanges we face in our lives, can promote maturity and make us

better people. Some of us face divorce, death and tragic experiences

all of which play a role in how we develope as people. Some of us just

mature as a result of those around us and we become who we were ment

to become.

I believe I matured quite quickly compared to my peers. I never faced

divorce or death, but people among me did, and I helped them deal with

it. I never really liked to talk about my problems so I helped others

with theirs, in hopes to forget about mine. I matured because I felt

if I pushed problems aside, I’d grow out of them and they would

disappear. I know all about the world around me at a young age. I

guess late night television helped a lot at that . Basically I pushed

maturity and it came pretty fast.

Eventually all the pushing took its toal and my problems all flooded

back, along with the memories of others and all the stress of what was

going on around me. People had so much going on, and I felt so dead

like everyone else. I was able to deal with my problems because of my

developed maturity. People came with problems and I helped. I don’t

think I could have let others deal with my problems.

We develope maturity from those around us and what happens to us.

Anything that happens to us, can forever change the way we grow up and

who we are as adults. When someone around us dies, we must go on and

allow ourselves to grieve, but not forget to carry on. When we get

dumped, or we dump someone, we become more mature because we can

better understand who we are and why.

We become who we are ment to be because of experiences in our lives. I

am the sensitive person I am because of what has happened to me

(nothing bad, I just get my feelings hurt easily) I think our lives

are ruled by the way we act and our maturity comes from our actions.

If nothing bad ever happened to us, how could we mature and move past

them? It is possible that every action in our lives determine who we

will become later on. Some of us mature faster than others, but that’s

because of different life experiences. I think its better to live

happily instead of trying to grown up and be more mature. I wish I had

slowed down and took more time to enjoy my childhood.

Comment

The paper was awarded a 4 because although it follows a traditional expository format, it uses vague generalizations to support the topic. In addition, the student repeats the same ideas without specific support.

The experiences we face and the challenges we over come help us to

grow to maturity. Everyone learns from their mistakes and that enables

them to grow emotionally and mentally. It is a natural thing to try

and do something right because we all like the praise of others. We

also might want to improve our situation so that we can gain more

experience to become more mature. But not every challenge or situation

will help us grow in the direction of maturity.

Wanting to be mature and actually being mature are to different

things. We can not tell ourselves that we are mature we just have to

continue trying to be. We will never reach a stage where we can no

longer mature. We are always changing our view, likes and dislikes, we

just have to continue working on it. So we need to have a focus on

what type of maturity we have.

If we don’t ignore ourselves to different situations and challenges we

won’t know how we will act. But if we are somewhat mature we will

think before we act. Doing that will help us govern other disisions

that we make bringing us that much farther to our maturity level. All

of our challenges and decisions that we make make us grow. Whether we

realize it or want to take advantage of it is up to us.

We need to grown in our decision making because that makes life

easier. It eliminates regretting decisions that we make. It also makes

others feel good knowing that they can trust you. Growing changes who

we are and that changes what we do and who our friends are. Having a

different environment will make us realize how much we have grown. I

also shows us how much more we need to grow.

So all of us should experience new things and new situations. That way

we can learn and grow to maturity. Doing that will help us in later

life and will help other. They can learn from our examples and how we

act to grow their maturity. So all of us should pay attention to how

we act so that we can become a mature person.

This paper was awarded a 4 because, although predictable and simplistic, it is clearly

adequate. The tone is conversational, but there are no significant writing errors.

My name is Tom Cruise, I am 16 years old and I consider myself to be

maturing more and more every day. For me there has been countless

experiences in my life that have made me mature but to me the ones

that stand out the most have happened in my teen years.

The one experience that first came to my mind when I saw “maturing”

was my frist day of highschool. To me this was a huge deal. I remember

having so much more freedom and responsibility. This was a huge change

for me because in elementary school I never had to get to class on

time or even find the class you were already there. Coming home after

that first day of highschool I felt different and more like an adult.

Another significant experience that happened to me that matured me

more was my first girlfriend. I was so nervous around her and I never

know what to do or say but I still felt more mature because I had a

girlfriend. It was one of those relationships where you don’t even

really talk to the person you just say “ya we’re going out”. This was

a big deal to me because I had just started highschool and now I had a

girlfriend and I kept feeling more and more mature.

I remember coming home one day from school and hearing my Dad say “you

need to shave”. I had never shaved before and I didn’t know how. He

showed me in his bathroom then gave me my own razor. This to me meant

that I was really growing up. I remember how my face burned after the

first time I shaved and I looked at myself in the mirror and thought

about how much I was growing up.

My sixteenth birthday was unbelievable for me. Everyone waits for

their sixteenth birthday their whole life up to it. It’s the year when

you can finally drive. I remember going to get my learner’s liscence

and driving around thinking “I’m so cool”. That feeling wore off

quickly when I realized always driving with your parents isn’t that

fun. When I finally got my real liscence I felt very mature because I

could drive a car without any parents in it. I think this is a very

maturing moment in everyone’s life because you suddenly get all of

this freedom that you never had and your trusted with it.

These are just several experience that have stood out in my life

making me more mature. There has been countless times when I’ve just

realised “wow I’m getting mature”. I think that with every day I’m

getting more and more mature even if something doesn’t happen to me

that day like shaving, or getting a drivers liscence. I’m not sure if

I will continue to mature after highschool or if I’ll get less mature

in college but whatever happens I’m looking forwards to it.