The Last Brontosaurus

The Last Brontosaurus

Lyrics and Chords

1. Brains Brains

(First verse and bridge – 1999 Everything else – 2005. Was originally about Celina.)

I’ve got a paycheck in my front pocket,

A speeding ticket in my back pocket,

If I even things out, I might have enough to get drunk.

I’ve got a phone number, stuffed in my wallet,

I know I shouldn’t do it but I think I’m gonna call it,

And if I get nuthin’, that’s fine, cause nuthin’s what I got.

Brains, brains, you can’t kill a zombie with a wooden stake.

Brains, brains, any one could make the same mistake,

So go easy on the girl.

I just wanted what every pirate wants,

I got some booty now I’ll never get enough,

I just wanted, I just wanted . . . .

To sail, to pillage,

So pass the rum and draw your swords,

Let’s burn down, the village,

Then we’ll grab their boards and surf their girls away . . .

I’ve got a picture of a mermaid, hidden in a box,

A dollar fifty six and a dirty pair of socks,

An ‘X’ on the map, if I don’t come back,

Here’s where you’ll find me.

Brains, brains . . .

First Girlfriend

(About Shannon - written December 2005 about December 1995. A combination of Elvis’ Sun Records, cold winter weather and literally catching Shannon’s old perfume on the wind brought the song all at once.)

First girlfriend, first girlfriend,

I still remember that winter,

Yeah I’ve had other girlfriends,

But only one when I was a beginner.

I was so happy just to get what I’d been wishin’,

Prettier than a Titian,

First girlfriend.

First girlfriend, first girlfriend,

The perfume, the platinum,

The stockings, with garders,

What she had you couldn’t help but look at them,

I was ready to apologize for anything she did,

Except for when she left,

First girlfriend.

And when she left,

It killed me,

And it took me years to fix it,

But now that I can see her clearly,

I have the strength to kiss her,

Goodbye.

First girlfriend, first girlfriend,

Tell me was I really that silly,

I’m a whole lot smarter now,

But never will I be so pretty.

Sometimes I catch her perfume floating on the wind,

And we’re in the snow again,

First girlfriend.

3. Vincent and Theo

(2004 – 2005.)

Vincent and Theo,

Suped up my Geo,

Now it’s burning oils,

All the Cobalt blue,

Blew the gaskets.

I traded an arm for a Bedroom in Arles,

At least I still got my ears,

But now I can’t sit still,

For the Absinthe.

And you always swore that I’d be the one to make it,

Then how come I could never get you to pose, for me naked?

I haven’t gone too far,

There’s a room,

There’s quiet,

And the doctors, tell me it’s good for my health.

I haven’t gone too far,

There’s paint,

There are flowers,

And the doctors, promise me I can get well,

I’ve got the fields, and the clouds,

And my Geo.

I’m goin’ away,

I’m fadin’ away,

I’m fadin’ away, away.

Vincent and Theo,

Souped up my Geo,

Now it’s burnin’ oils,

Now I don’t know which way,

To go.

I got drunk on beer,

And then went to see her,

Now I hang my head,

Now I’m sanding notches,

Off the bedpost.

And you always swore . . .

4. Grass Stains

(Summer and Fall, 2005.)

Here comes the moon saying ‘Hi’,

Let’s tip this bottle till it’s dry,

And if we end up, rolling on the floor,

Score one for being us,

Score zero for being bored.

I found this bike for you to ride,

And we can roll soon as the spray paint’s dry,

We can start living soon as you come outside,

I’ve got a kiss here with your name on it.

And I’ve been thinking all day about this dream I had,

Where I never lost you,

But the only mermaid that’s flesh and blood is a bad tattoo,

The stars are out and the moon is new,

How long do I have to stand here praying?

I know that you’re in there,

I know you can here me,

I want you to crawl out, of that window,

And get your body near me,

I know you were sleeping,

I know you’ve got school tomorrow,

Well if you’ve got nothing to put on,

I’ve got a birthday suit that you can borrow,

And the bonfire, it’s gonna burn, burn, burn,

There goes your math book,

There goes your bra,

There go your heartaches,

Let’s burn them all.

Grass stains,

Will be the proof of tonight,

So beautiful,

Will be the rest of our lives,

If you want it,

So say you want it.

5. Mary (1994)

(This is the second song written for Mary, late in 1994.)

I’ll be your man,

If you’ll only take me,

I do all I can,

But you only laugh at me,

And the first time I saw you,

I knew you were for me,

The girl of my dreams,

But not for real, and not at all,

And you say you’ll marry me,

In a couple of years,

When I’m old enough to buy beer,

But will you run off and break my heart again?

I want you,

You make me so darn blue,

I love and I hate you,

But Mary I’d still marry you,

Mary I’d still marry you,

Mary I’d still marry you.

You gave me a chance,

But I guess I cared too much,

And you blew my chance,

You never cared enough,

And the first time I saw you . . .

6. A Song From Sanford Raccoon

(Originally a singing-email sent to Karina June 2000. I was about to drive across the country to visit her in Hollywood.)

I miss you miss you miss you and I know you’re all alone,

I would pretend to kiss you but you never get the phone,

When I call you,

You’re such a long way for a raccoon to travel.

The road is filled with lines and the highway’s lined with diners,

It’ll take a lot of gasoline to power my raccoon liner all the way,

To California.

Sleeping on the Interstate,

Hope I don’t lose my shirt along the way,

Cause it’s a new shirt,

And they’re hard to find in my size.

Sleeping on the Interstate,

Hope I don’t die,

Along the way,

Cause you’re at the end of the road,

And this raccoon,

Misses you so.

7. Full of Aces

(Begun while on the road, summer 2001. Same road trip as before, for the same girl, but under very different conditions. Finished in late 2004.)

Headin’ out west in my 5.0,

Thinkin’ I still love who I let go,

Got a dream and I need to spill it,

Before I rest, sleep or sit still,

Now it looks like Lubbock will be comin’ soon,

Looks like my luck will lead me to ruin,

Need more money,

Need a beer,

Left a girl now I need her here.

The cards came up and he was full of nines,

I’ll find my way, but not tonight.

So I’m heading for ocean, the one to the left,

The windows are open like the wound in my chest,

Wind and rattles, I’m humming with them

Those radio towers, have got no rhythm.

The cards came up and he was full of deuces,

I’ll find my way, if I ever get through this.

And it’ll take all night, to run back to who I ran from,

It’ll take all my life, to raise up and pay the ransom,

But I’ll kiss her one more time I don’t care if she hits me,

And I’ll wear this highway down to a size that fits me,

And I’ll curse you Henry Ford for ever doing this to me,

At least I’m still moving,

I’m still moving,

And I’m rollin’ at ninety,

Sippin’ the coffee,

A few things behind me,

But nothing’s on top of me,

Got a secret and I want to spill it,

A stain on my jeans and a swallowed pill,

Now it looks like Vegas will be comin’ soon,

Looks like my luck will lead me to ruin,

Top is down,

Nerves are shot,

But I’m flying this solo,

Ready or not,

Cards came up and he was full of Jacks,

I can make her mad but I can’t get her back.

And it’ll take all night, to run back to who I ran from,

It’ll take all my life, to raise up and pay the ransom,

But I’ll kiss her one more time I don’t care if she hits me,

And I’ll wear this highway down to a size that fits me,

And I’ll fool myself and I’ll tell myself I’m not losing.

Just cause I’m still moving,

I’m still moving,

And when the cards came up, the dude was full of Aces,

I’ll find my way, but I’ll never shake this,

Feeling that running’s,

The only hope I have,

The only dream I’ve had,

The only love in my life.

8. Did You Know Rousseau?

(Jan. 2006)

Did you know Rousseau?

Did you laugh in his face?

Did he smile, did he nod,

And did he paint the next day?

Did you go to his house,

To wink while he played?

Was Picasso there,

And did did Picasso say,

“If you dream of a tree,

Does if have to be wood?

Have you not, known a knee,

That didn’t bend like it should?

Here we see, a world, where tigers play,

Don’t you wish you could stay?

Well I do, I do,

And Rousseau knew.”

9. Sarah

(Written in Binnion’s Horseshoe Casino, Bossier City, June 2005)

Sarah, we need to say the words,

‘Cause if we can’t,

It’s gonna come back to haunt us,

Sarah, we need to say the words,

‘Cause if we don’t.

It just might be the end of us.

With regrets, is no way to end up,

I’ve seen it happen, and you don’t want it,

I know you’re scared how it might end up,

But there’s only one way to make sure it doesn’t happen.

You’re my lover, you’re my friend,

And baby, to whatever extent,

We need to say the words,

We need to say the words.

Darlin’, darlin’, darlin’, here’s your lullabye,

And I would love to hear you sing,

Lullabyes to me.

Goodnight, sleep tight,

Sweetheart, my love, goodnight.

10. Hello Buddy

(Parts about Buddy Holly written in 2003 – the rest was done 2005. Written for every guy ever)

Hello buddy,

Look at the hell that they put us through,

She don’t need you, she don’t need you,

So cork the bottle,

And give it a rest, won’t you,

She won’t need you, no matter what you do.

Hello buddy,

Look at the hell that they put us through,

She don’t need you, she don’t need you,

Just look at your knuckles,

Give the wall a rest, won’t you,

She won’t need you, no matter what you do.

We’ve both been broke by girls before,

And here we are still bleeding.

But all we did was shrug,

When it was us, that was leaving,

So get in the car, we’re leaving now!

Clear!

Beechcraft Bonanza give us flight,

Wing on the left, wing on the right,

Let me dream, of Maria, let me dream,

It’s been so cold,

And I’m sick,

And tired,

I want to go home.

Ice on the wings,

Don’t do us any harm,

Let me dream of her arms,

Let me dream,

It’s been so cold,

And I’m sick,

And tired,

I want to go home.

Hello Buddy,

Just look at the hell they put us through,

She don’t need you, she don’t need you,

No matter what you do,

So cork the bottle, and give it a rest, won’t you,

No matter what you do,

She won’t need she won’t need you,

It’s been so cold,

And I’m sick,

And tired,

I want to go home.

11. Ernest Hemingway

(Written for Erin, late summer 1997.)

The best days,

Start out as the worst days, it’s true,

Like when I met you.

You kissed me,

Then drove away, and now I’m dying,

Just to see you.

I got the pictures back,

Right now they sure look pretty,

But I know, they’ll fade in time.

You still haven’t called me,

You know I still care,

And when I kissed you,

Why were you so scared?

I didn’t care if your parents,

Hated me at all.

I know we’re both busy,

But now you’re not there,

I wish you were still here in your underwear,

Or with your clothes still on,

It doesn’t matter at all.

I’m waiting, and waiting,

You’re fading away.

I still see, you at work,

Shelving books by Ernest Hemingway.

And the girls round here just aren’t the ones for me,

The last girl I was with was from Albuquerque.

I got grass stains when she kissed me,

But I know that she won’t miss me,

The girls round here just aren’t the ones for me.

Ernest Hemingway,

Ernest Hemingway.

12. First Girlfriend, Part 2

(Feb. 2006)

First Girlfriend, first girlfriend,

So I get out the pictures,

They show me who she was,

But that’s not quite who I remember.

We’d have a daughter,

8 years old if we’d had a kid,

I almost wish we did,

First girlfriend.

CHORDS

Below are the chord progressions for every song. I only list the chords that are played and their order. For strange or made up chords, I provide simple notation.

Examples of simple notation:

0003 would be a C Major chord.

2010 would be a F Major chord.

0232 would be a G Major chord.

And so on.

Solos are not transcribed.

All songs for soprano ukulele.

All transcriptions are approximate.

Please use the recordings as a guide for what to play when.

Brains Brains

Tune uke down to the key of B, low G string.

When I say C#m, I mean 6444

EB, EB, AB, ABAB, C#m AB C#m, AB C#m AB AB,

E C#m, AB, E C#m AB C#m, AB C#m, AB

E A E A C#M AB AB

And back to the beginning, more or less.

2. First Girlfriend

C tuning, low G string.

C Am F G

F G C F C F G

C Am F G

F G C F C G C

Em F Em F Em F Dm G

Em F Em F G

C Am F G

F G C F C G

C Am F G

3. Vincent and Theo

C tuning, low G string.

G Em C D G

Am Bm C D

G Em C D

C Cm

G Em C D G

Bm C Bm C Bm C

Back to the first verse.

Grass Stains

C tuning.

D 2120 G A D D7 G A D 2120 G A

D 2120 G A D 2120 G A D 2120 G Gm A

D G D G A

D 2120 G 0233 G A D 2120 G

G Gm Em A G Gm Em A

Em A D 2120 G

G A D 2120 G

G Gm Em A

D G D G A

D 2120 G

D Bm G A (repeat this line)

Mary 1994

C tuning.

F C B C

B C F B F B C

B C F B F B

Gm C

B F B F B F

Gm C Gm C Gm F

F B C 0005 0007 C 0005 0777 C

C 0005 0007 C 0005 0007 C

C 0005 0007 C 0001 0000 0030

And back to the beginning.

A Song From Sanford Raccoon

C tuning.

9999 999(12) 999(10) 9999

7777 7779

G 0230 G 0230 A 0100 D D7

D G D G D

G A D 2120 G D

G A D 2120 G A

D 2222 D

9999 999(12) 999(10) 9999

7777 7779

G 0230 G 0230 A 0100 A 0100

D 2120 D 2225

Full of Aces

C tuning.

G Em C D

G C D

C D C D

G C D

C D C D

G 0230 C

4320 0432

4320 C D

G C D

C D C D

G 0230 C

4320 0432

4320 C D

C D C D

G Em Bm C

Did you Know Rousseau?

Tune up almost to C# to match the recording. Low g string.

D A G D

D A G A

G Gm D Bm

G A G A

D A G D

D A G A

G Gm D BM

G A

G Gm

D A G 4447

G 6669 A

D A G D

D A G A

G Gm D BM

G A

G Gm D

9. Hello Buddy

Tune to C.

C G F G

F C F G F G

C G F G

C Am F G (repeats until the end)

Sarah

Tune to C.

Bf is Bflat

Ef is Fflat

Es is Esharp

Bf 0231 Ef 3321

Ef Es Bf 0231

Ef Es Bf Ef Es

Ef Es

Bf 0231 Ef 3321

Bf 0231 Ef Es

C Dm C Dm C Dm C Dm

C F C Em G

F G C F C

Ernest Hemingway

Tune down one whole step to Bflat. High G string!

F Dm

Bf C

F Dm

Bf C

F Bf C

F Am Bf c

F BFC

F Bf C F

Bf C F Bf C F Bf C F

12. First Girlriend, Part 2

Tune to C.

C Am F G

F G C F C G

C Am F G