Classic Mae West Quotes from “I’m no Angel” (1933)

“Beulah, peel me a grape!”

Grant: “You were wonderful tonight.” West: “I’m always wonderful at night.” Grant: “I mean you were especially wonderful.” West: “When I’m good, I’m very good. When I’m bad, I’m better.”

Grant: “If I could only trust you.” West: “Oh, you can. Hundreds have.”

“It’s not the men in your life that count. It’s the life in your men.”

“I want to thank you for those beautiful flowers. They were lovely. And don’t forget, why don’t you come up and see me sometime.”

He “I’m glad it wasn’t the money you wanted.” West: “There are a lot of other things it takes to make a woman happy.”

As they think about their honeymoon, she pauses. He “What are you thinking about?” She “The same thing you are.” Last remark is essential to West – she openly desires sex as much as any man.

Some Groucho Marx Quotes from “Duck Soup” (1932) – Groucho’s grand entrance when he is announced the new prime minister of Sylvania

Marguerite Dumont: “As chairwoman of the reception committee, I welcome you with open arms!” Groucho: “Is that so. How late do you stay open?

“You can leave in a taxi. If you can’t find a taxi, you can leave in a huff. If that’s too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff…..”

Groucho: “Not that I care, but where is your husband?” Marguerite: “Why, he’s dead.” Groucho: “I bet he’s just using that as an excuse.”

Ambassador of Sylvania: “I’m sorry but I can’t stay for very long.” Groucho: “That’s even a greater pleasure.” …. “Your Excellency, haven’t we seen each other somewhere before?” “I’m not sure I’m seeing you now. It must be something I ate.”

To Raquel Torres: “I picked up this (dance step) in a dance hall. I picked up this (girl) in a dance hall. I could dance with you ‘til the cows come home. On second thought, I’d rather dance with the cows until you came home.”

Marguerite: “This is your gala day for you.” Groucho: “Well, a gal a day is enough for me. I don’t think I can handle any more.”

Groucho: “Here are the Rules of my Administration,” excerpts.

If any form of pleasure is exhibited,The last man nearly ruined this place.

Report to me and I will prohibit it.He didn’t know what to do with it.

If you think this country’s bad off now,

Just wait ‘til I get through with it.

Expect taxes to go up; women will be expected to choose between their husbands and their lovers, and the loser will be shot.