EQ Thot 4 2day –Thursday
5 ingredients of Emotional Intelligence
# 1 KNOW -- # 2 SOOTHE -- # 3 MOTIVATE Yourself! -- # 4 KNOW Others!
# 5 SOOTHE & MOTIVATE OTHERS!
EQ is not just for YOU!
…Consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:Heb 10:24
…Comfort…and edify one another… 1 Thess 5:11
EQ is learning to RECOGNIZE,take RESPONSIBILITY for and RAISE our own emotions and then to RECOGNIZERESPOND to the feelings of others. The pinnacle of a high EQ for a Christian is to learn how to RAISE the emotions of others. We have a greater impact on others than we realize. Researchers have found that just being in the presence of another person who is depressed, joyful or peaceful changes our emotional state. The first step toward helping others is to let God transform you. Then you make an unbelievable difference in the lives of others.
In Vietnam, during a firefight, a group of monks peacefully walked right between the two armies. Neither side would fire on them. They calmly left, but no one started firing again. The men who were there said that there was no fight left in them after seeing the peace in the hearts of those monks. When we have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Phil 4:7), our peace becomes contagious too! That kind of peace comes from having the kind of love relationship with God where we talk to Him and trust Him with every care in our lives (Phil 4:6) and from choosing to think on all the good in our lives (Phil 4:8). There is enough bad or bad in every life to leave you depressed or joyful depending on what you dwell on. An emotional revolution occurs in your heart when you finally realize that YOU get to choose!
So how do we help others with their emotions? 1) Manage your own emotions; 2) Model the peace & joy you want to help others find; 3) Be genuine when you try to help others – no one is changed if we are fake; 4) Receive & pass on the Comfort & Healing God has given you (1 Cor 1:4); 5) Model & Offer Calm from anger & anxiety (a soft spirit does turn away wrath (Prov 15:1); 6) Listen and let them pour out their hurt or frustrations before offering any counsel or solutions (people feel better when someone cares enough to reallylisten; 7) Empathize - feel what they are feeling with them; 8) Offer help when they are ready; 9) Refocus them on positive things.
A violent drunk was threatening everyone on a train in Japan. A martial arts expert stepped between the man and the crowd, ready for a fight. Then an old man behind the drunk cheerfully said, Hey, what’cha drinking? The man angrily shouted back, none of your business, but it’s sake. The old man warmly said, Oh wonderful, that’s my favorite. I love to warm it up and drink it with my wife on a little wooden bench in our garden under our persimmon tree. The drunk softened. His fists unclenched. Yeah … I love persimmons too… Oh yes, said the old man, and I am sure you have a wonderful wife. No, he sobbed, she … died. Then he told the old man the story of losing his wife and his job, of starting to drink and of being ashamed of himself. The old man invited him to come tell him all about it and the story ended with the drunk laying against the old man, fully opening his heart to the man who had opened his heart to him. That is emotional brilliance!
Be the kind of person that makes people feel better just to be around you!