MOCK DRAFT #2 KEY
As you compare your suggestions with the highlighted words/phrases below...
EXAMINE THE IMPACT Choose two of the highlighted words/phrases below that you think will have the greatest impact on the reader. Use the Google Drive ‘comment’ feature to explain why. Reply to at least two comments posted by other group members.
On a fall morning, I went to St. Victor Historic Petroglyphs Park south of Moose Jaw. I climbedin my car to the top of the Wood Mountain Uplands until I reached the park gate, stopped, got out, found the stairs, and beganthe long(enduring)climb[1][2] on foot to the top of the cliff where the glyphs are incised on the surface of the rock. I was the only person in the entire park, and, in the stillness and the clarity of that morning, I felt my solitude gravely and as a blessing.
At the top I stopped andlooked around. The beautiful, treed[3][4][5] village of St. Victor was lost in foliage below, andto the north and on an angle beyond it Montague Lake shone softly. I couldsee for miles in two directions where not a soul, a bird, a cow stirred. On the still air a noise came faintly[6][7][8][9][10][11][12] from the direction of the lake a mile or more away; I listened, trying to identify it. At first I thought it was a dog barking, then it seemed there was more than one voice and I thought, oh, coyotes, but no, the soundcame clearer and I realized it was geese, pausing for waterand to search out wheat kernels in the nearby farmer'sfield that had been thrown over during combining, as sustenance to strengthen them for their journey south. All alone and with no pressing business[13]I took the time to gaze and gaze outacross the landscape. Soon two mule deer broke out of the brush below where I stood, climbed a woodedridge and disappearedover its crown.
Eventually[14]I remembered to look at the glyphs, which were at my feet on the other side of the railing I was leaning on. It took a moment, after that dazzling[15][16],endless[17][18][19][20][21] view, to bring my mind and my eyes into focus so I could pick them out. Then I saw a face staring[22][23][24]up at me, carved when, no one is sure, and by whom, no
one knows. Something gripped me quickly, hard, deep in my abdomen, a chill, frisson of the numinous[25]and then let go.
In that silence and stillness I became aware of the sun hanging huge and yellow just above the back of my head, the guardian, the Other, the powerful and constant presence at that place. Its angled rays brought the glyphs, invisible in higher light, into[26] existence; each morning and each evening its rays created them anew: human handprints, faces and footprints, grizzly bear claws, bison hoofprints leading over the edge of the cliff.
That year I had time to go to only one more prehistoric[27][28] rock art[29] site before winter snows covered them. This one is on another high, rounded, long hill, this time above a creek, and overlooks the city of Swift Current. Here, two bison, their bodies chipped out of the rock till they form small basins, sat enigmaticallyjust where they'd been for as long as two or three thousand years[30].
"Why would they do it?" an archaeologist asked me.
"They aren't work; that is, they don't produce food or clothing, or make houses. Think how hard this must have been to do, how long it must have taken. Their people must have seen it as important, and it follows, then, that these must have had to do with their spiritual life."
I am always trying to see this land as it must have been before farmers plowed [31]it, before cattle came to graze it, before there were highways, towns, power poles, and rows of grain bins. I try to imagine it as the people who lived here must have seen it and, from that, to feel what they might have felt. Now I rose from kneeling in the grass beside the stone bison and looked out toward the city where once there had been only hills and grass. At that moment it seemed less real than the petroglyph I'd come a hundred[32][33] milesto see.
As I'd driven out of the yard that morning on my way to the edge of this city, the sun on my right was only below the horizon, and on my left a, three-quarter moon was riding the serpentine[34][35] hills. For miles as I drove the deserted[36][37] highway I watched the sun rise. First a red glow, then a ruby arc like molten metal dishing to gold at the edges[38], then the sun was above the horizon and too bright to look at. I began to watch its light pouring across the fields that flanked the highway, and beyond them the hills, and behind them the land, as it lifted chunkily in blue folds toward the sky.[39]
To ask what a carving in stone of a turtle, paintings or carvings of other animals and humans on or in stone, or human or animal footprints mean is to be distracted by something that seems to me irrelevant and unimportant. What matters is that they were done by humans like you and me. In such beauty there can be no response but awe[40][41]. It was not an accident that all these sites had views with a clear view of the setting sun ... It was the act of a people who, whether living ten thousand or two hundred years ago, knew desire and hope, remembered long and well, felt respect and reverence, had a sense of grace -- had souls as puny and as magnificent, as various as ours.
[1]the word enduring is Latin: and shows the continuing or long-lasting efforts to climb
[2]Good observation Issac. Understanding the
Latin roots of the English language can help us to decode the meanings of unfamiliar words .
[3]The word "treed" creates a more visual imagery for the reader to have a thorough understanding of the text.
[4]yea i agree it shows how nature is still a large part of the village and how the coherently exist in the natural beauty.
[5]i agree.Its relates to the expression"beauty is in the eye of the beholder"
[6]its a descriptive word that elaborates the intensity of the sound.The sound is vague or quite
[7]agree, helps invoke the feeling of loneliness that the author is experiencing
[8]A descriptive word that portrays how the noise approached the writer. Aids the reader in understanding that it wasn't a bomb-like sound.
[9]Agree, reader can directly sense the writer's feeling by reading this precise describing.
[10]_Marked as resolved_
[11]_Re-opened_
[12]I agree with your point, because, it makes the reader sense and experience what the the author is going through at the time
[13]Everybody values their time, in this case, the speaker found spending time in nature took precedence over any other matters at hand to witness what was unfolding before her.
[14]Shows how the speaker was in awe and distracted by admiring the scenic nature, that she temporarily became unaware of her surroundings.
[15]The word dazzlingis is descriptive because, it make the reader, imagine the view as extremely impressive and beautifull
[16]The speaker describes an extraordinary view that kept her from her task at hand. .
[17]It insinuated the significance of an grand atmosphere and landscape. Yet showing how puny we are compared to the vastness and sizable surroundings.
[18]This is significant because it shows how minute and insignificant we are and how grand nature is. puts a more urgent feel to the scenery?
[19]_Marked as resolved_
[20]_Re-opened_
[21]it emphases the breathtaking effect on the speaker
[22]The word "staring" gives that creature some human's character. Described every existence here lively and spiritual.
[23]I agree with your point, this choice of wording really gives the glyph living characteristics
[24]Agree. The word choice reveals how others think of the speaker.
[25]I think the feeling of being thrilled is clearly explained by this phrase and it prompts the reader to feel that level of excitment while reading it.
[26]This has impact on the reader because it depicts the symbolization of the light became into existence and how things changes
[27]Prehistoric is of or relating to the time or a period prior to recorded histoy. This reveals about speaker's interest in the history of rock arts.
[28]I agree because, I think it reveals the speaker's interest in history and art; which could be one of the reasons why she is visiting this park.
[29]The mark left by prehistoric civilizations on rocks are referred to as art even though they would't contain much skillful art work. Prehistoric human that lacked knowledge would possess a much more natural perception of the world and its beauty, therefore the ART they created would remain true and innocent. Using the word art to describe this ancient piece work would create impact for the reader to admire prehistorical wisdom.
[30]The idea of the "prehistoric rock art" is reinforced, in which the rock is suggested to be "two or three thousand years". The significance of year, in this case, gives readers insights of the history of art. Consequently, readers develop an admiration in the legacy of art.
[31]This descriptive word helps the reader comprehend the context because, the word plow is directly related with farming.
[32]this is a hyperbole, the author is exaggerating in order to emphasize how unreal the scenery is compared to the stone faces in the mountain that she came a long way to see and study.
[33]I agree, because the individual exaggerated in order to emphasize the sustained emotions felt.
[34]The definition of the word "Serpentine" is characteristic of, or resembling a serpent, as in form or movement. The word serpentine cause readers to understand the imagery of the hill.
[35]Agree, one precise word is better than a thousand plane words
[36]It portrays a visual of the highway with it being bare and empty.
[37]You're more specific which helps on obtaining a bigger understanding.
[38]It is simile which is describing the sun rise with its colors. First the red glow and then the gold covered it. The author describes the gold color as the molten metal and the red as ruby.
I like how she describes the colors.
[39]It is metaphor which describes the sun light. It gets me a image that the sky covers the sun light. A blue round circle is put into boiling oil and then a golden yellow is covered on it, look crisp.
[40]It is an artificial piece of history. Such an aged piece still pertains beauty, that creates fascination and awe.
[41]You also become humbled when you reflect on the impermanence of life. The endless echos of joys and sadness of all the men and women of history, forever etched in time. Life, however fleeting, is beautiful beyond measure.