Somebody’s Angry
A Screenplay by Paul J Klostermann
We find a restaurant; Credits appear on restaurant items such as menus, trays.etc; two men enter and sit at a far table from entrance
Cam follows men from door to table
Man 1
Hey, see those two women over there
Camera cuts to view of two tables away from men
Man 2
Yeah. What of it?
Cam back to Man 1
Man 1
They’re “together”
Cut to man 2
Man 2
You mean?
Cut to man 1
Man1
Yep…lesbians
to man 2
Man 2
Shut up…How do you know?
Cut to view of tables
Man 1
The one in blue is a cop
Cut to man 2
Man 2
In town?
Man 1
Yeah
(Camera pans to waiter
Waiter
Can I get ya’ll something to drink?
Cam behind waiter so all 3 are in view
Man 2
Yeah. I’ll have a water
Waiter
And you?
Man 1
Could I get a Corona?
Man 2
Alright, so you’re saying that if I go ask them, they will tell me they’re lesbians
Man 1
Yeah I guess.
Man 2
Ok
Man 1
So you gonna go ask them?
Cam cut to man 2
Man 2
For how much?
Cut to man 1
Man 1
I’ll buy your lunch
Cam to view both; follow man 2 in next shot
Man 2
Done
Gets up and goes to far table where two women, one in blue, are seated
Pardon me. Are the two of you together?
Cut to blue woman
Blue woman
Excuse me
Cam views all 3
Man 2
Are you two
clears throat ala John Kerry
lesbians?
Cam cuts to far shot behind man 1
Blue Woman
Slaps man 2
Man 2
Walks back to table
Well apparently they aren’t lesbians
Man 1
I wasn’t talking about those two you dumbass; I was talking about them
Cam focuses on a table where two people, one in blue, are seated
Man 2
You might have specified that much
Man 1
I thought it was understood
Waiter
Here you go; do you guys know what you’d like?
Cam behind waiter
Man 1
Yeah. I’ll have the Cobb salad with Ranch dressing on the side
Man 2
Give me the Chicken Caesar salad please
Waiter
Alright. I’ll have those right out
Cam behind man 1 so man 2 is primary focus
Man 2
So you say the one in blue is a lesbian cop?
Man 1
Yeah
Man 2
You know that is a man right?
Cam to table across restaurant
Man 1
No its not. It’s the lesbian cop
Man 2
No its just a man with long hair
Cam behind man2 where man 1 is the focus
Man 1
I think I know what I am talking about
Man 2
Than why does she have a ring on her finger
Cam zoom on her hand
Man 2
That, my friend, is not yet legal in this state
Man 1
A lot of people wear rings
Cam to man 2
Man 2
Not often on their left hand
Cam to man 1
Man 1
Some do though……Well look at what she has…Steak and a beer.
Cut to man 2
Man 2
A lot of women eat steak when they’re out and drink beer. Anyhow, I don’t think she looks like the butchy one anyway. Therefore, your theory doesn’t work
Man 1
Maybe you should just go see for yourself
Waiter brings them food
Man 1
I swear they are gay
Waiter
Pardon me
Man 1
Oh not you
Waiter
Looks at man 1 oddly
Cam to man 2
Man 2
I am not gonna do that again. Which reminds me, is lunch still on you?
Cut to man 1
Man 1
Those two weren’t the lesbians
Cut to man 2
Man 2
Now that is bullshit. I got up and asked. And I got hit because of it. I think lunch is the least you can do for me…
Stops suddenly; looks up towards the exit
Cut to blue man and red girl
Blue man
Hey look at those two. I bet they’re gay
Red Girl
Just cause they are sitting having lunch together?
Cam focuses on man 1 and 2
Blue man
Well look at what they are eating…salads. And they’re drinking Corona and lemon water. Seems kinda queer.
Man 1 and 2
Continue argument about paying for lunch
Blue man
Uh-oh.
In gay impersonation
Somebody’s angry…
Both laugh as they exit
Cam follows them to door
Door closes with “The End” sign on it