Module 11: Developing Friendships

Effective Teacher Practices for Providing
Targeted Social Emotional Supports
Module 11: Developing Friendships / / 2014

Objectives:

Participants will:

  • Understand how to use instructional practices to help children develop friendships
  • Understand how the classroom context promotes or inhibits friendship
  • Understand how to involve families in helping their children develop friendships
  • Understand how to conduct formative assessment related to children’s friendship skills
  • Understand how to articulate the relationships between targeted instructional practices, Foundations for Early Learning and Development, and NC Professional Teaching Standards in regards to developing friendships

Pre-learning Assignment

  • Instructions
  • Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships: Teacher/Staff Self Checklist
  • Caring about caring: What adults can do to promote young children’s prosocial skills

30 Minute Review of Pre-learning Assignment

90 Minute Face-to-Face Session

  • Script and PowerPoint Presentation
  • Supporting Materials:
  • Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships: Teacher/Staff Self Checklist
  • Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships: Observer Checklist
  • iPoints for Teachers: Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships
  • iPoints for Administrators: Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships
  • Prosocial Behaviors Important for Developing Friendships
  • Developing FriendshipsFormative Assessment
  • Strategies to Support Children in Developing Friendships
  • Embedding Skill Practice into Daily Routines
  • Videos:
  • Module 11: Developing Friendships video 1
  • Module 11: Developing Friendships video 2

Post-learning Activities: Extension into the Classroom

  • Instructions
  • Embedding Skill Practice into Daily Routines

Materials and Supplies:

  • Chart paper
  • Chart markers
  • Index card with one friendship skill (i.e. organizing skills, sharing, being helpful, taking turns, apologizing, giving compliments) listed for each table or pair of participants
  • Index card with disability or risk factor category (i.e. non-verbal, autistic, cerebral palsy, visually impaired, hearing impaired, English language learner, etc. ) listed for each table or pair of participants.
  • Collection of or index cards listing classroom toys such a blocks, dramatic play clothes, balls, puppets, board games, play dough, art materials (i.e. paint brushes, paint, construction paper, markers, glue, etc.), friendship books, journals/notebooks, jars/cans, musical instruments, scripted stories, stuffed animals, baby dolls, etc.)

Supporting Materials:

  • NC Professional Teaching Standards available at:
  • NC Foundations at a Glance:
  • Approaches to Play & Learning
  • Emotional and Social Development
  • Health and Physical Development
  • Language Development and Communication
  • Cognitive Development
  • NC Foundations for Early Learning and Development-NC Standard Course of Study Crosswalks:
  • Approaches to Play and Learning
  • Emotional and Social Development
  • Health and Physical Development
  • Language Development and Communication
  • Cognitive Development
  • NC Foundations for Early Learning and Development available at:
  • DEC recommended practices in early intervention/early childhood special education 2014 available at

Effective Teacher Practices for Providing Targeted Social Emotional Supports: Developing Friendships

Pre-learning Assignment:

  1. Read Caring About Caring: What Adults Can Do to Promote Young Children’s Prosocial Skills -at this link:

Respond to the questions below:

  • In your own words define prosocial behavior. Why is it so important that the behavior be voluntary?
  • Why is development of prosocial behavior important?
  • What strategies can be used to teach prosocial behavior?
  • Describe the process of induction in developing prosocial behavior?
  • How might culture / family impact prosocial behavior?
  • What information from this article can you share with families that would support their child’s development of prosocial behavior?
  1. Come to the upcoming face-to-face session on Developing Friendships prepared to discuss with your colleagues prosocial behavior, why it is important, what strategies can be used to teach it, and how you can share this information with families.
  1. Assess your current practices related to Developing Friendships using theInstructional Practices for Developing Friendships Teacher/Staff Checklist. Reflect on one practice(s) you wish to improve in the current or upcoming school year.Be prepared to discuss in face-to-face session.
  2. Select an instructional practice from the self-assessmenton which you rated yourself as implementing ‘almost always.’ Describe, in writing, a strategy you use to implement the practice. Be prepared to share the strategy in the face-to-face session.

30 minute review of pre-learning assignment

  1. Share your thoughts and reflections from the reading assignment
  1. Share instructional strategies that you currently use related to a practice on the instructional practices checklist

90 Minute module Face-to-Face session

Contact hours: 2 contact hours (90 minute session plus 30 minute pre-learning activity review)

[Trainer: Handouts you will need:

1-Prosocial Behaviors Important for Developing Friendships handout (Attachment 1)

2-Developing Friendships – Formative Assessment (Attachment 2)

3-Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships Checklist (Attachment 3)

4-NC Professional Teaching Standards – at this link:

5-NC Foundations for Early Learning and Development – at this link:

6-iPoints (Attachment 4)

7-Strategies to Support Children in Developing Friendships (Attachment 5)

8-Embedding Skill Practice into Daily Routines (Attachment 6)

[Trainer note: don’t forget to discuss pre-learning assignment (instructional practices self-assessment, reading, and reflection upon article –‘Caring About Caring’ -See also introduction, below).]

Slide 1: Introduction

Hello and welcome to this session on developing friendship skills. Prior to this session you read the article, Caring About Caring. Based on what you learned from this article, why is it important for us to think about helping children build frienships in our classrooms?

[Allow participants to respond.]

Slide 2: Friendship Skills

In Merriam-Webster's dictionarya friend is defined as a person who you like and enjoy being with as well as a person who helps or assists. It indicates that friends are attached to one another by affection or esteem and are not hostile. A friend is a favored companion. (friend. 2014. In Merriam-Webster.com.Retrieved August 25 from adults we understand that the essential elements of friendship are reciprocity and commitment. However, we have to remember that children often see friendships differently based on their developmental levels. For instance, as infants and young children social play depends on proximity so 3-4 year old children might define a friend as someone who happens to be near them or whose toys they like. A 5-6 year old child continues to focus on their own needs but might realize that someone else may have a different point of view. Around the age of 7-8 children begin to realize that friendships are personal and may be based on common interests (Gurian, 2012).

Now let’s think about the skills needed to develop friendships among the children in your classroom. Think about a child who plays well with a lot of other children. What characteristics does the child demonstrate that makes him or her get along so well with others? Take a few minutes at your tables to discuss your thoughts about what skills are needed to develop friendships. Jot down 3-5 characteristics you would consider important in making friends. Also consider what the short-term and/or long-term outcomes might be for these chidren.

[Allow 5 minutes for discussion, ask groups to report out characteristics and chart responses. Prompt as needed to include sharing, taking turns, creating play opportunities, humor, enthusiasm, compliments other children, kind to others, and helps others. Expected outcomes might include development of self-confidence, continual friendships, school success, and healthy adult adjustment.]

What happens when children don’t have these skills? Think about children in your classrooms who don’t have these skills. What have you noticed about these children? What might the short-term and/or long-term outcomes be for these children?

[Allow participants to respond. Prompt as needed to include challenging behaviors such as pushing and grabbing, quiet, hovers arounds adults, shy, sad, plays alone, hesitant to approach other children. Outcomes might include isolation, loneliness, and adult mental health issues.]

Slide 3:Why friendship skills are important

The single best childhood predictor of adult adaptation is not school grades, and not classroom behavior, but rather, the adequacy with which the child gets along with other children.

-Willard Hartup, President of International Society
for the Study of Behavioral Development

Research suggests that young children who learn positive social skills are more likely to have positive relationships, acceptance, and friendships later on in school and as adults (Eisenberg et al. 1991). Competence in developing friendships also correlates with academic skills. For example, a recent Head Start study showed that children scoring higher on prosocial competence were determined later in the year to be the most “cognitively ready” for school (Bierman et al. 2009). Although many children develop these positive social skills naturally, some children do not. Children who don’t develop these skills naturally have difficulty interacting appropriately with their peers and are thus at risk for later social problems. The good news is that adults can teach young children friendship skills – even to children with very challenging behaviors. And in doing so, can make a tremendous difference in a child’s life --potentially for a lifetime.

Slide4: Objectives

Participants will:

  • Understand how to use instructional practices to help children develop friendships
  • Understand how the classroom context promotes or inhibits friendship
  • Understand how to involve families in helping their children develop friendships

Slide 5: Objectives

Participants will:

  • Understand how to conduct formative assessment related to children’s friendship skills
  • Understand how to articulate the relationships between targeted instructional practices, Foundations for Early Learning and Development, and NC Professional Teaching Standards.

In this session we’ll discuss strategies to help children develop friendships while helping them move toward early learning and development standards [hold up Foundations].

We also want you to reflect on how your instructional practices, related to developing friendships, demonstrate your proficiency as measured by the teaching standards in our teacher evaluation system [hold up handout of teaching standards]. We’ll also talk about family involvement and formative assessment.

Slide 6: Reciprocity and Lengthy Encounters are key

When children are successful at making friends, they have opportunities to learn and practice many social skills such as cooperation, sharing, turn taking, helping others and giving compliments. Successful social interactions also provide a context for our English Language Learners to become proficient in their new language (Tabors, 1997). Two elements that have been shown to be important to the development of relationships or friendships are reciprocity and having lengthy encounters or repeated interactions. The Division of Early Childhood (DEC) Recommended Practices in Early Intervention/Early Childhood Special Education (2014)“provide guidance to practitioners and families about the most effective ways to improve learning outcomes and promote development of young children, birth through five years of age, who have or are at-risk for developmental delays or disabilities”. In DEC Recommended Practices (2014), Instructional Practice 10 states, “Practitioners implement the frequency, intensity, and duration of instruction needed to address the child’s phase and pace of learning”. To assist children in developing friendship, we need to not only provide instruction in how to connect with other children but also give the appropriate amount of time and support within play activities to developeach relationship.

Slide 7: What prosocial behaviors are important for developing friendships?

There are several discrete behaviors that young children engage in during play with each other that seem to be directly related to having friends (Tremblay et al., 1981). That is, children whodo more of these behaviors are more likely to have friends and have more positive experiences playing together. You hit on a lot of these in our previous discussion but to review the specific behaviors include giving suggestions to organize play, sharing toys and other materials, taking turns, being helpful, being affectionate, giving compliments, understanding how and when to give an apology and beginning to empathize.

Slide 8: Handout – Formative Assessment

Now take out the handout Prosocial Behaviors Important for Developing Friendships [Attachment 1]. Take a few minutes to read through the descriptions for each behavior.

[Trainer note: Ask experienced teachers to bring ideas / suggestions related to formative assessment of Developing Friendships and share with the group when reporting out on each skill area.]

[Allow participants 5 minutes to review handout.]

Let’s spend some time thinking about how we can conduct formative assessment around each of the prosocial behaviors listed on this handout. We are going to divide into 6 groups by counting off by 6s. Group 1 will focus on organizing play, group 2 will focus on sharing, group 3 will focus on being a team player, group 4 on taking turns, group 5 on giving apologies, and group 6 on giving compliments. Each group needs to write a definition of target skill (clear learning targets), list characteristics of target skill, list examples and non-examples (define criterion for success), list evidences that can be used to determine progress in this area (collect and analyze evidence). Document your work on handout 2 Developing Friendships – Formative Assessment[Attachment 2] and we will report back in 15 minutes.

[Allow 15 minutes to complete activity]

Can we have group 1: organizing play report out?

[Allow group 1 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Can we have group 2: sharing report out?

[Allow group 2 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Can we have group 3: being a team player report out?

[Allow group 3 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Can we have group 4: taking turns report out?

[Allow group 4 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Can we have group 5: giving apologies report out?

[Allow group 5 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Can we have group 6: giving compliments report out?

[Allow group 6 to report out definition, examples, non-examples and evidences]

Slide 9: Instructional Practices Checklist

Now look at the instructional practice checklist [Attachment 3] for developing friendships in your handouts. This is the same checklist you used to assess your practices before attending today’s session. The items on the checklist have been adapted from the Center on the Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning (CSEFEL) and the University of Iowa. The checklist items are part of the Teaching Pyramid Observation Tool or TPOT. The SEFEL (Social and Emotional Foundations for Early Learning) project has recognized that this information is research-based and shown to be effective in helping children learn.

Slide 10: Video of Lisa promoting prosocial behavior in the block center

Let’s watch a video clip of a teacher as she helps two children start to learn how to play more successfully together. To give you some background on this classroom at the time of the videotaping it included 17 children age three to five. Four of the children were identified as Exceptional Children: three as Developmental Delay and one as Speech Impaired. Several children were identified with social emotional needs in the classroom including five children who had been referred for play therapy due to severe emotional trauma. One child was a Dual Language Learner. The classroom staff included one teacher and two assistants. At the time of the videotaping an additional support person was working in the classroom. One of the students you will see in the video was new to the classroom and had exhibited many extreme physically aggressive behaviors. The other child was identified as having significant delays. As you watch think about what friendship skills Lisa is addressing as well as what instructional practices she is using.

Find the Instructional Practices for Developing Friendships Observer Checklist[Attachment 3] from your handouts and take a moment to review the instructional practices listed. We will look for these practices when we observe the classroom.

[Show Module 11: Developing Friendships video 1.]

Ok, first let’s think about what friendship skills we see Lisa teaching. What did you notice about specific skills addressed in this video?

[Allow participants to respond to include sharing, taking turns, being helpful, and organizing play.]

What clear, descriptive feedback did you hear her using? Are there any changes or adjustments you would make to instruction?

Let’s again look at the instructional practices checklist for observers on Developing Friendships.To what extent did you see these practices in the video you watched? What did you see that was evidence of each of the practices on the checklists? Discuss this at your tables and we’ll come back and talk about it.

[Allow 5 minutes for participants to discuss what they saw and strategies they could recommend.]

Let’s come back together. What instructional practices did you see and what evidence of the practice did you see? Is there anything you would have done differently?

[Groups report out. Prompt as needed to include:

  • IP 1: Comment positively and descriptively on children who are working together, helping each other or engaging in other friendship behaviors
  • IP 2: Encourage children to play together
  • IP 5: Provide increasing levels of assistance to help children enter and maintain interactions with their peers
  • IP 6: Explicitly teach or prompt children how to initiate and respond to their peers.

Slide11:NC Professional Teaching Standards

Now pull out the handout that lists our NC Professional Teaching Standards. Put yourself in the shoes of the principal who is observing Lisa’s classroom for evaluation purposes. Which teaching standard(s) did the teacher demonstrate? Please talk at your tables, and we’ll come back and discuss.