Fobbies Are Borange Episode 39 the One Where Too Hot for Sm.Net Stuff Happens, Apparently

FOBBIES ARE BORANGE
EPISODE 39
THE ONE WHERE "TOO HOT FOR SM.NET" STUFF HAPPENS, APPARENTLY. D:> WE NEED AN ACTOR SWITCH FOR THAT PART, THOUGH. I NOMINATE GEORG.
NARRATOR
Last week on Fobbies are Borange, we created some pretty massive plotholes, and Poo singlehandedly murdered the entire population of Fobbies. What a JERK! *sigh* Anyway... The end of the Chosen Four's journey is viewable on the horizon, and with two more sanctuaries to go, it won't be long until it's here. Ahhhhh... Anyway, what will happen today? I think you'll find out TODAY ON
[Theme Song]
[LUMINE HALL MUSIC]
JEFF
Good job again at wiping out an entire race, Poo.
POO
Yeah, I totally.. ehhh. owned some foo's!
NESS
Hahah, I'll own your MOM'S-
JEFF
Stop. Right. There.
PAULA
I do want to thank you, Poo... Not that I entirely know why, but thanks. A lot.
POO
Hooray, recognition! Next thing you know, I'll be starring in "UrfBownd: Da Muzikal In Da Hood!" Watch out, Eagleland!
JEFF
*sigh* Look over there, I think I see a shiny spot.
NESS
I see shiny spots all the time, if you know what I mean.
POO
I do not, what do you mean?
PAULA
We are not going there.
NESS
You see, first I start staring at the sun reeeaaaally hard and then I--
PAULA AND JEFF
NESS!
[SANCTUARY MUSIC]
ELECTROSPECTER
This is the Seventh MySanctuary location! But it's YOURS, now! Give it to me, IF YOU DARE!
NESS
Uhh.. Nah... I think we're gonna keep it.
ELECTROSPECTER
DAMN. :(
[YOU WON!!!]
POO
Yaaay, we beat the giant metal fobby!
JEFF
I'm going to go through this door here today.
[HAPPY AMBIENT TONE CHORD SANCTUARY DINGLYJINGLY]
[MELODY]
NARRATOR
Ness and friends saw a giant wall and stuff.
LUMINE HALL ECHOEY NESS VOICE:
Hello, Ness.
Hey, me.
Yup.
Uhh..
Well, okay, here's what happened... I was in the grocery store and there was this guy and he was like can you help me get the pizzas off the top shelf? I knew what he was talking about, I knew, but just to be cute, i acted like it was a reference, like hahaha, you want me to get the PIZZAS off the SHELF.. And he just starts looking at me like what are you thinking? And I've got my two kids with me in the cart and they're like "what's going on" and I'm like LAUGH CHILDREN LAUGH, and then they were like, "SMELLY PAULA SHOULD HIT HERSELF WITH A FRYING PAN"
PAULA
Ness, what are you doing?
NESS
What are you talking about?
PAULA
The wall. It says I'm smelly, and should hit myself with a frying pan.
NESS
Well... you better obey that wall, then!
PAULA
You forgot that I read everything BEFORE that, you idiot, I know it's you.
NESS
Oh. Dang it.
JEFF
I... this wall is amazing. How can this even possibly work?
THOMAS DOLBY
SCIENCE!
POO
Oh.. kay, friends, let us descend this hole.
NESS
You know, a boy can only go through so many holes. This is really ridiculous.
POO
It sure is a _whole_-lotta pain!
[RIMSHOT]
PAULA
Never do that again.
[HOLE FALLING SOUND]
[LOST UNDERWORLD MUSIC]
NESS
Woah... we're microscopic!
JEFF
I'm pretty sure it's just supposed to be perspective.
POO
[humming Jurassic Park since the start of Lost Underworld music] This seems pretty prehistoric, friends. We might even see...
[CHOMPASAUR ROAR]
PAULA
Ohmygod. Those... those dinosaurs are HUGE!
JEFF
They're pretty big.
NESS
They're... everywhere, guys.
JEFF
They're pretty... uh.. everywhere.
POO
Hmmmmm...
PAULA
Guys, they're getting closer... I don't even think your Bottle Rockets will work here, Jeff.
JEFF
Oh hoh hoh hoh, you question me, do you?
[CHOMPASAUR ROAR]
[DEAD NOISE]
PAULA
...Well, later, Jeff.
NESS
Oh god.. you know... this reminds me of a-
[DINO RAMPAGE clip]
POO
This is no time to be talking about Pigeon Drama, friends! Using my superior acting skills, I will BECOME a Chompasaur!
[Poo makes happy cute RAWR noises for a while]
[Morphing noise]
[CHOMPASAUR ROAR]
NESS
POO JUST GOT ANTI-EATEN BY A DINOSAUR!
PAULA
No, he just transformed into one, you dolt!
[ROAR]
[LOWERED SHAQ FU CLIP]
[YOU WON!!!]
[Morphy noises]
JEFF
Hooray, Poo killed things.
NESS
Jeff, how are you alive again?
JEFF
I wanted to create a plothole.
PAULA
Let's just go, guys, this is a crappy place with crappy dinosaurs.
POO
Look, a FENCE!
TENDA
Hello! Do you have some Tendakraut for us?
NESS
...Uh, no, but I have a quarter of a burger that I didn't eat earlier this morning!
TENDA
Oh... well... that's not good. I'm sorry, but order to get out, you need to give us Tendakraut.
JEFF
Oh. Yeah, we forgot it. And by "we", I mean Stephen, Martin, Ben, and Muhammad.
PAULA
Come ON, Tenda! Please let us in, there are dinosaurs out here!
TENDA
Uhhh... well... that's unfortunate, but we really need the Tendakraut, it's programmed into the game.
PAULA
Well we can't go back to GET it, since SOMEONE burned the rope!!
NESS
But you HAVE to burn the rope!
TENDA
Oh... well... Okay, I'll let you out of the dinosaur pen this time, but only this once! Next time you play the game, you gotta get it. Promise?
NESS
uh huh yeah whatever
TENDA
Okay!
[CREAKY DOOR NOISE]
NESS
Wow this village is the pits.
PAULA
That's what you get in these weird foreign places.
JEFF
There's a rock back there. Didn't the talking rock tell us to talk to the talking rock?
POO
That's a clever toungetwister! Audience, try saying it five times fast yourselves!
[BUZZ BUZZ PROPHECY MUSIC]
AL GORE
Hi. I'm a talking rock. I invented the internet.
NESS
.... You can TALK!
PAULA
You're that creep who kidnapped me to Happy Happy Village!
JEFF
You're Al Gore!
POO
You're not butter and I can't believe that!
AL GORE
I understand. Please sit down and let me exposit plot all over you.
NESS
That sounds like just what our listeners want!
AL GORE
Paula, the reason I captured you was to stop an evil plot by an evil alien: the evil Fobby! That Fobby, Paula, is your Father!
PAULA
No! That's not true! That's impossible!
AL GORE
It is - semicolon. your father is an alien, who planned to destroy humanity by melting the polar ice caps. My efforts to persuade people the ice caps were going to melt by calling it 'global warming' didn't work, so I needed your PSI Freeze to stop them from melting.
POO
How did you discover that the Paula father was an alien?
AL GORE
I invented a machine called the suporma that can detect aliens. After you left Twoson, I disguised it as you and left it in your bed to throw your father-alien off the trail.
NESS
That's either a genius plan or really really weird.
AL GORE
Thanks. By the way, I forgive you for beating me up.
NESS
Mmmmm ok.
PAULA
Wow... my father is an alien... that should be surprising but I'm not surprised. I wonder why?
AL GORE
Now, I've disguised myself as this talking rock.
JEFF
And how does that help accomplish your plan? Also, you're just standing behind the rock.
AL GORE
Now I've told you all about it! And quiet, you!
POO
Couldn't you have told Mister Ness this the first time you met him?
AL GORE
Look, you're in the endgame now! All the plot is becoming revealed!
PAULA
But how does that help us in any way?
AL GORE
I guess it doesn't!
JEFF
Awesome.
[FADE OUT AND THEN FADE IN LOST UNDERWORLD MUSIC]
PAULA
My father is an alien... I think... I think my memories are starting to come together... This, the fobbies, the Kraken... I-I don't know what to think anymore... I'm so lost, I need help...
NESS
You just realized that, huh? [Paula starts choking/sobbing] Oh I, uh, I mean, hey Paula, hey... aliens are kind of wacky aren't they I mean if I had a parent who was an alien then well I dunno...that'd be kinda sweet, like that British TV show. So...don't be sad, okay?
PAULA
*start crying like a lady who's child died*
NESS
Well, what I mean is, I uh, oh boy, I think that I--
POO
Can it, friend.
TRISHA
Stop right there, vile fiend!
NESS
Oh thank goodness a distraction.
TRISHA
Listen up you Chompasaur and listen well! The Forces of Good will see you slain by the end of this day! Our quest will not be stopped by your--
[CHOMPASAUR CHOMP]
JEFF
Wow. All of her in one bite. Impressive.
PAULA
But nooooooooooooooooo!!!! *sob* I wanted to kill heeeeerrrr! *cries more*
TOMMY
TRISHA! Hold on! I'm coming!
[AWESOME TOMMY MUSIC]
TOMMY
Powerful Turquiose Diamond of Will-Energy, lend me your might! I will tear apart this vile Chompasaur with my hand!
[RIPPING SOUND]
TRISHA
Ohmigawd Tommy! Thanks for getting me out of that gross dinosaur, but now my leotard smells like lizard guts!
TOMMY
Oh Trisha, we don't have time for your silly feminine concerns now! The fate of the world is at stake!
TRISHA
You're right, Tommy! Let's get going, the forces of evil aren't going to beat themselves!
TOMMY + TRISHA
whir whir whir whir whir whir whir
[TELEPORT NOISE]
POO
Now _those_ guys know how to act like heroes!
NESS
That was... really distracting. So, uh, Paula, are you--
PAULA
*back to normal* Can it, Ness! Now, let's get on with the plot, shall we?
JEFF
Uh, Paula, wasn't there a problem with your--
PAULA
Shut it, Jeff! *cute paula giggle thing*
[FIRE SPRINGS MUSIC]
NESS
Another dungeon, huh? Man we've done so much today, we're on fire.
POO
Literally, my ponytail seems to be enflamed.
PAULA
No more puns, Poo!
JEFF
I see another sanctuary spot, guys.
NESS
It's at the top of the hill though, Jeff.
NARRATOR
TEN MINUTE LATERS!
PAULA
Gee, that was... something. Or something. Also, Ness, stop running into me, I'm not made of rubber.
NESS
Sorry, I was just testing our bounciness.
PAULA
Bounciness?
NESS
Yeah, to see how well our characters bounce off of each other.
PAULA
Pfft, what do you think this is, Law and Order? This is FaB, we're not supposed to be bouncy. We don't have that special.. foil thing.
POO
Shiny Spot Part 2, hooray!
NESS
Wait a minute... it's... a dog...
JEFF
Good job, Ness.
NESS
No, but... it's... my dog... King...
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC]
NESS
Oh, King, what happened to my dear sweet doggy? I remember the day there was garbage and fire and then later Tracy told me she'd tell me later and stuff but I never knew it would turn you into this monster! King, look at you! LOOK AT YOU! Look at what you've become! I don't think I can stand it! My dear sweet puppy! King!!!! ...wait a second.
[SENTIMENTAL MUSIC STOPS]
NESS
You're not King. Oh, nevermind, my bad.
JEFF
If you're done with this, can I have my fun?
NESS
Yeah, he's not my dog.
JEFF
Sounds good.
[MULTI BOTTLE ROCKET]
NESS
Haha! Take that! ...wait a second...
POO
It's yet another dog!
NESS
Oh my gosh! King! It's really you this time! King you've become all shiny and stuff! Oh you're beautiful, like my mom's jewelry that I accidentally dropped down the garbage disposal when I was playing cowboys and indians! King you need to come home with me right now! This isn't--oh wait false alarm.
[MULTI BOTTLE ROCKET]
JEFF
Ness, I have to ask: do you even know what your dog looks like?
NESS
What? Of course! He had four legs, and a tail... and... a head...
JEFF
Ugh...
[YOU WON]
PAULA
I'm pretty sure that should've taken more rockets.
JEFF
We're on a tight schedule.
[SANCTUARY MUSIC]
PAULA
Ah, finally... the last sanctuary...
[MELODY LAST NOTE]
NARRATOR
Yay, I remembered that one for sure! Ness had the feeling that he was being watched by himself as a baby.
[PLAY ALL OF SMILES AND TEARS IN SOUND STONEY WAY]
NESS
I'm feeling... kinda... fadeouty...
POO
Are you alright, Mistar Ness?
JEFF
...Ness?
NESS
Hello... me... *sigh as falling*
PAULA
Ness? Are you alright? Ness?! Ness!!!
[FILE SELECT MUSIC]
NARRATOR
The Chosen Four's quest is almost complete. Having collected the Eight Melodies, the power of the Sound Stone has seized Ness into a strange world. What challenges await him there? What drama will unfold? How will the series--and our heroes--end? All these questions AND MORE will be answered next week, on the amazing conclusion of.... FOBBIES ARE BORANGE!