DADS
BABY CENTER
(Online)
August 2006
WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAD MAKES
A growing body of research has found that the more involved fathers are in their children’s daily lives, the smarter, healthier and happier their kids will be. Among the benefits of paternal pampering, according to recent studies:
· Dads who are affectionate and spend time with their children are more likely to have securely attached infants.
· Kids whose fathers do their fair share of hands-on childcare are ahead of the curve developmentally and in problem solving, social and verbal skills.
· Father-child interaction promotes physical well being, perceptual abilities and social skills.
· Children with involved fathers have enhanced cognitive development, greater self esteem and self-control, better life skills and social competence, and fewer behavioral problems.
· Girls who have close, playful relationships with their dads tend to be more popular and assertive.
· Boys with strong paternal bonds do better academically and score better on IQ tests.
· The more involved dads are with their children’s education, the better kids do in school and the more they enjoy learning.
· Children with supportive fathers feel more competent, do better socially and cognitively, and are less likely to be depressed and have behavioral problems.
· Children whose fathers spend time alone with them at least twice a week become more compassionate adults.
· The benefits are not just for the baby either: Fathers are healthier, better adjusted, more involved in community and service organizations, have better relationships with their own siblings and parents, and have stronger marriages than non-dads. Research has found that by middle age the involved fathers are more successful than workaholics.
HOW TO GET INVOLVED
With time, love and tenderness, you and your baby will develop your own special relationship, one that is just as vital as the mother-baby bond. Here are some tips for being the father you want to be:
· Educate yourself. See that stack of pregnancy and baby books laying on a stand? Grab one and start reading. You can also boost your baby IQ by taking a newborn care class, hanging out with friends who have infants, and not leaving the hospital until a pediatric nurse has shown you the diapering, bathing, swaddling, and soothing ropes. This stuff is not rocket science, but you do have to do your homework.
· Be a partner in the birth. Taking part in your baby’s birth will inaugurate you into your co-parenting role and give you the confidence to tackle those early weeks at home.
· Practice, practice, practice. There is not some magical intuition that tells women how to care for their newborns, they learn by doing, and so do dads. So get in there and change that dirty diaper, give your baby a bath, and do your best to comfort him when he is fussy. You may fumble a bit at first, but you will get the hang of it.
· Take the time. Getting your hands wet with baby care is not easy if you are not around during the getting-to-know-you period. Once you are back at school or work, make spending time with your baby part of your evening and weekend ritual. Put her into a front carrier and go out for an after-dinner stroll, or just sit a spell and read to her. No, it is not too soon!
· Step in. Your partner may feel she is failing as a mother if she is not the one who feeds, diapers, dresses and comforts her newborn 24/7. However, it is vital for your development as a father – not to mention for your baby and for your partner’s sanity – that you take some of the load off. So even if she protests, jump in and take on some of those baby-care chores. You will not be sorry you did.
· Stand your ground. Whether they realize it or not, fathers are often under minded of their chances to success by cutting in by mom. When he is gingerly trying to insert tiny tootsies into impossibly small booties or turning their nose up at his bath time technique. If your partner criticizes you, gently remind her that you can handle it – as long as she gives you the chance.
· Get physical. Fathers interact differently with their children than mothers do. This is okay. In fact, researchers speculate that, from a developmental point of view, dad’s high-energy, physical play is the perfect counterpoint to mom’s gentler, nurturing care. So do not hesitate to offer a round of airplane, horsie, or other time-tested dad and baby pastimes. However, do not let that be all you do. “Real men cuddle babies too!”