Some Notes on Gender Perspectives of a Filipino Migrant in Germany
by Jack Catarata
How do I perceive/experience myself in Germany?
I see myself as an emigrant, coming from a colonized, calamity-prone, poor and politically unstable South-East Asian country. Due to my country’s historical ties with the US and its pervading influence in almost all aspect of our socio-polititical life- from foreign policy to pop culture- I am more familiar and at ease with the Anglo-Saxon Leitkultur and language.
As migrant here, I belong to the non-white-non-European racial minority, but coming from a predominantly Catholic country with strong ties to Christian Europe and the USA, I am- at least- considered belonging to a “non risk” group and one that is “easy to integrate”.
Gender-wise, I also belong to the minority, since 8 out of 10 Filipino migrants here are women.
Like most Filipinas here, the raison d’ etre why I’m here is because I’m married to a German national, and is raising a bi-cultural family.
I’m here since 9 years now and except for a short period of two years I have been unemployed.
So, practically I’m the “houseman” and this experience impacted many of the gender role perceptions I acquired back home.
What are thetypicalgender role perceptions of Filipinos?
1)All Filipinos are taught the idealized picture of specific gender roles: men are expected to be the breadwinner (meaning the “head” of the family and the women are ideally considered as home-maker taking care of children and the family.
2) Women are trained to be feminine and submissive, to the will of the male members of the family and young men, on the other hand, are expected to exhibit machocharacteristics. such as male mastery, affective callousness, and dominance. This is the most clear cut gender roles which can also be seen in hierarchy of the country’s institutions like the Church, the military, and until the ascendancy of Cory Aquino as President (now followed by the current President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo) also in government or politics.
Men who do not fit in the category of “maleness” are considered “Bakla” (a weakling, which in the Philippines are manifested through gay transvestism). Women who exhibit “macho-like” characteristics are called “Tomboys”and generally earn more respect in the society than gays.
3) That said, there is another gender role which could be considered subversive yet widely accepted by many Filipinos: Strong women are actually respected- even venerated-in our culture. And strong-woman gender role is very much pronounced in our iconography: example: Virgin Mary, mother of God as protector of the Filipino people. The highlight of this example is of that of a protestant macho general – former President Fidel Ramos- embracing the statue of the Virgin Mary (now affectionately called as the Our Lady of Edsa)to “protect” him during the first People Power Revolution against the Dictator Marcos.
General Ramos with the statue of Madonna as “protector” during the Edsa Revolution in 1986
Here Mr. Ramos as President of the Republic of the Philippines celebrating the first Edsa Revolution in front of the Lady of Edsa which was built after during Cory Aquino’s presidency as memorial to the People Power Revolution in 1986
Translated to Filipino family dynamics, this is manifested by the presence of a strong matriarch in the family- somebody who really makes the big decisions in the family. It is said that many family-owned Filipino businesses like the National Bookstore, Gaisano Department Store chain, etc. were built by women.
4) Acceptance of strong but feminine wives in popular culture are manifested in the so-called “ander de saya” (“Pantoffelheld”) husbands which are immortalized in so many a film esp. by one of our quintessential macho symbols: the disgraced former President “Erap” Estrada.
How are my gender role perceptions informed by my stay in Germany?
To start with, I was never the macho-type and I know that here in Germany, gender role perceptions are—thanks to the feminist movement- relatively progressive.
That said, it is not easy to go against the normative gender roles even in Germany, in my experience.
Either the archetypal Filipino gender roles are so in-grained in my psyche, or that even in Germany I experienced gender role stereotypes at play.
I remember often feeling uncomfortable, for instance, being surrounded with women knitting to pass the time away while waiting for our daughters to emerge from their ballet class. Or sitting in the waiting room of our pediatrician where I was the only father bringing a sick child around.
Or, when my then 10 year-old son asked me once: “Papa, why is Mama the one working instead of you? All other fathers of my friends are working and their mamas either stay at home or work only on some days…”
Rationally, I can explain my context:
as a migrant, it is not easy for me to find work.
I didn’t possess the qualifications – academic or otherwise- expected to become a qualified worker. Coming from a non-EU, non OECD country, I have had extreme difficulty having my academic degree from my home country recognized. Or, as a migrant my German is not good enough to do the kind of work required for a political scientist like me.
Emotionally, it is tough. And therefore I develop coping mechanisms in order to easen my discomfort.
Examples of these coping mechanisms, like I always say that I work free lance. Or that I bring my laptop with me while waiting for my daughter to finish her ballet, just to distinguish myself from those “knitting” mothers.
And of course, it is comforting to look at those posters (Erap, et al) of “Pantoffelhelden” movies from time to time
Interestingly, I find it easier to say that I’m houseman to German women who asked such question. And I think you know the reason why.
The question of my son why I’m not working aside, I think my family appreciate my role as houseman, and for the moment that’s all that matters.
Gender specialists are using the term “emotional labour” to mean the range of activities of women that do not seem productive but crucial in contructing and affirming social relationships.
I believe I’m a very good “emotional labourer” I’m specially good at sorting out my family’s emotional needs. Like when the children come home for lunch, I can see through their faces if they had a good day or bad and we spend lunch usually discussing their day’s experience. In the evening, it’s my wife’s turn.
By way of conclusion, I’d like to share with you this poem I wrote about two winters ago about my experience as a migrant houseman:
The Pinoy as houseman in a foreign land
I'm sitting in our kitchen still full of chaos:
the dishes have still to be washed,
the butter, marmalade
and the quark have still
to be put back in the ref,
the garbage, waiting to be thrown out
My wife had just kissed me goodbye
the childrenhave long gone to school.
Welcome to my Monday morning routine!
The silence and solitude
after the normal early morning stresses:
"Anna, eat your breakfast!"
"Martin,take your medicine!" or
"Hurry, your bus is coming!"—
is the best part of the day, I always find.
The fascinating snowy view from our kitchen window
This, too, I love
The greenpine trees outside
remind me just now of Baguio
and the wooded hills yonder
made me think of Bukidnon
(before the loggers cut its trees down)
How lucky am I just to be at home
a houseman, doing a wife’s routine chores
it wasn’t by choice that I become one
the factory has closed down
went to China or India where
unorganized workers are younger, nimbler
and, above all, cheaper
bringing more profit to a fund’s portfolio
(meanwhile with 5 million unemployed now
There’s no work to be found)
But wait
I’m beginning to enjoy my new life
there’s plenty of work to do:
the dishes have to be washed,
the butter, marmalade
and the quark I have
to put in the fridge back,
the garbage, I’ll throw them now out.
My wife had kissed me goodbye
the childrenhave long gone to school
but later at noon, they’ll come back
and then I can collect my day’s precious reward:
my wife will kiss me gently,
seeing the appartment
clean and orderly …
and the kids will yell out:
“hmmm, the kitchen smells of delicious adobo!”
Danke für Eure Aufmerksamkeit