Marriage-Second Try
Carl and Priscilla Bailey
8/07
A bride and groom enter marriage with hopes of being united in love for the rest of their lives. However, statistics show that many first marriages end in divorce, and even fewer second marriages forming blended families survive. So what made the difference in their second try at marriage for Carl and Priscilla Bailey? Each had two children from previous marriages, and they only dated for six months before marrying. How does their marriage continue to thrive?
Religious background:
Priscilla confesses, "Life without Christ I can't imagine, because from a child, my parents took me to church." Baptized at age seven at a Christian Church, she points out, “Christ became more of a reality to me [when I was baptized[, because I had to go through a class.”
Priscilla and her family attended different local churches as they moved within Kansas. Despite church involvement, she says, "I don't think my parents ever let me know that Christ could be daily in my life. I think my dad wanted to teach values, but he didn't give me the whole picture."
As a child, Carl began attending a Baptist church. His mother just dropped him off there. Despite no parental church involvement, Carl was baptized at a young age, went to Sunday school, talked to God a lot, and read the Bible. Also, he got involved with Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts at that church.
First Marriages:
As a nineteen-year-old bride, Priscilla soon learned that alcohol was her husband’s first love. He did not go to church, but Priscilla and her sons, Jeff1 and Curt, often visited her parents on weekends and accompanied them to their church. She kept praying about her married life, for she felt that marriage was a lifelong commitment. Yet after speaking to their church pastor and attending Al-Anon meetings, Priscilla decided that it would be best to divorce her husband.
Carl, as a teen-ager, drifted away from Christ and the church. After he married in 1959, he worked days and taught scuba diving at night. Two daughters, Debby and Pam, were born. His long hours at work increased the separation developing between his wife and him. She divorced him in 1972, and their daughters stayed in her custody.
Meeting each other on a blind date:
After her divorce, Priscilla continued working for a chiropractor whose parents owned and ran a dive shop with apartments. Carl Bailey worked for them as a scuba-dive instructor and lived in one of their apartments. "The owners thought I really needed to meet Priscilla," he says. So their son arranged a party, and Carl adds, "I met her and her boys at this roller-skating party."
Even though her girlfriend acted as chaperone, Carl still thought Priscilla was "hot.” So he pursued her. Priscilla recognized Carl's obvious interest, but she remained cautious. While they dated, Priscilla says, "Carl was wonderful with my boys, including them in everything. He didn't ignore my kids and his girls...they just were being family. That was one of the turning points for me to start caring for him. One day I realized I loved him and wanted to be with him. My kids still are crazy about Carl." They married in July 1975.
The Second Try:
Soon Priscilla said she missed attending church. Carl simply replied, "Well, I want to go with you."
They both became very active in a Christian Church serving as deacons besides helping with youth activities and Sunday school. Also, Priscilla sometimes served as a scripture reader during the worship service.
Their hopes to parent another baby dimmed because of Priscilla’s diagnosis of Asherman's Syndrome. She underwent a procedure to correct the problem, but pregnancy still was unlikely. However, God had other plans! Wendee was born in 1976, and Priscilla says, "She is actually my miracle child," and to this Carl adds, "Having Wendee around gave me the mission to get back in the Bible."
Some years later, Carl and Wendee got baptized together at the Christian Church they attended. Priscilla's sons went their own ways as they became adults, and Carl's daughters grew up with no church affiliation. But, Wendee stayed involved. In fact, when their church experienced dissension and the family felt spiritually unfed, Wendee and her husband Josh led the way.
LifeChurch:
Wendee discovered LifeChurch on the internet, and she and Josh started attending. When she told her parents that she missed them coming to the same church, Priscilla asked, "Isn't it just a lot of young people there?"
Nevertheless, she and Carl visited. Pastor Clint joined them at a monthly Sunday church dinner and introduced them to many Lifers. Priscilla says, "As we started coming to the services, I just felt like new life had been born inside me, because Clint has such a way of presenting the gospel whether you have been going to church for a long time or have never been to church. Christ has taken on a whole new meaning in my life."
Both thank God and LifeChurch for helping them to endure the crisis of a grandson's death.2 Recently, Priscilla and Carl recognized God’s miraculous working. They needed to sell their home in order to gain greater financial freedom. Within 22 days, it sold! In the meantime, new ownership put Carl's job in jeopardy. Instead of losing his job, he is now enjoying his work at the same position with a better boss. God is faithful!
LifeChurch Service:
Currently, they serve as Deacons and Greeters at LifeChurch. Their marriage survives despite statistics. Besides, is not Christian marriage supposed to be a picture of the relationship between Christ and the church? Married for 32 years, Carl and Priscilla’s marriage reflects Christ’s love as they seek to serve one another and others all to the glory of the Lord.