Joshua and the Cave Man

Written by Alex Baca

June 7, 2003

Once upon a time there was Joshua walking down the street. Suddenly he came to Professor Smith’s house. He went inside and saw the professor coming towards him.

“Hi Professor,” Joshua said.

“Hi Joshua!” Professor Smith said.

Joshua said, “What do you have here?”

“A time machine,” the professor said.

Joshua said, “Can I go inside?”

“Yeah, you can,” said the professor.

So Joshua went inside. He saw a button and said, “I wonder what this button does?” So he pushed it, and the time machine started!

Lightning flashed! The machine started making a loud noise. And then a voice started counting down. “Five…. Four… Three…. Two…. One….”

Joshua heard the professor say “Bye Joshua!”.

Joshua said “Bye Professor!”

Suddenly the whole time machine stopped, and all the lights went off. After a minute the lights came back on. Joshua looked out of the window. It wasn’t the professor’s house any more, he had landed in a place with big rocks, trees, and mountains… And one big cave! Joshua went outside of the time machine and closed the door.

Joshua started walking. Up ahead he saw someone walking towards him. The man had a long beard and was big. It was a cave man!

The cave man said, “Ooga! Booga!”

Joshua said, “H-H-H-Hello? What’s your name?”

The cave man said, “Ooga! Booga!”

“Uh, hi Mr. Booga! Are you a cave man?”

The cave man said, “Ooga! Booga!”

“I have a camera in my pocket. Can I take your picture?” asked Joshua.

The cave man said, “Ooga! Booga!”

Joshua said, “OK, say Cheese!”

The cave man said, “Ooga! Booga!”

Joshua said, “Not Ooga Booga…. CHEEEEESE!”

The cave man said, “Oooooga! Boooooga!”

Joshua took the picture. He showed the cave man the picture. The cave man got scared and ran away screaming.

“Wait! Don’t scream. It’s only a picture,” Joshua said. “I think I’ll follow the cave man.”

So Joshua followed the cave man for a long time. He got tired walking, and then suddenly he came to the cave. It was very dark inside. He peeked in.

Joshua said, “Hello! Anybody home?”

Suddenly he heard a bunch of cave man yelling “Oooga Booga!” They grabbed Joshua and threw him in the cave.

One of the cave men said “ooga booga—sit down! Sit down!”

So Joshua sat down. He decided to take a picture of all of them. Then they all sat around the camp fire and sang songs.

“Repeat after me,” said Joshua.

Take me out to the cave men

Take me out to the cave

We sat around the camp fire

And sang some songs

I don’t care if we never go home

Cause its sing, sing, sing with the cave men

If they don’t sing it’s a shame

For it’s one, two, three songs with the old cave men!

The cave men sang:

Ooog a booga, ooga-booga

Oooga booga oogaaaa

Oooga booga ooga booga

Oooga booga ooga booga boo

Oooga booga ooga booga boo

Ooga booga booga

Oooga boog oog ooga booga booga boo gaaa boooo!

“Very good, cave men!” said Joshua. “Sorry, but I have to go now. Bye-bye cave men!’

“Ooga booga!” said the cave men.

Joshua left the cave. He walked and walked. He wasn’t looking and he fell into a pit of quick sand. He started sinking into the sand, faster and faster.

“Help!” Joshua cried. “Help”

The sand was coming up to his neck. He was going to sink! Suddenly he heard a voice calling his name. “Joshua! Joshua!”

It was the professor!

“Over here,” Joshua yelled.

The professor got some vines and made a rope. He threw the rope to Joshua. Joshua grabbed it, and the professor pulled him out.

“Thanks professor! What are you doing here anyway?” Joshua asked.

“I got worried, so I decided to come look for you,” said the professor. “Let’s go home”

Joshua and the professor walked back to the time machine. Just as the professor got inside, Joshua said “Wait! I forgot my camera by the quick sand. Don’t leave without me.”

Joshua ran off and got his camera. When he got back the time machine was gone. “Professor, come back! Come back.”

In a minute, the time machine came back with the professor.

“Thanks, professor. I thought you forgot about me!” Joshua said.

Joshua and the professor got in the time machine. Joshua pushed the button, and the time machine was off! When they got back to the present, they were in for a big surprise. There was already another Joshua and the professor there! There were two of each of them.

“What happened, Professor?” said both Joshuas.

Both professors said, “We went back to the wrong time, and now there are two of us!”

One of the professors said, “Let’s try this again.”

Now both Joshuas and Professors got back in the time machine and pressed the button. When they got out, there was now THREE Joshuas and THREE professors!

“Oh no!” they all cried. “Not again!”

Three Joshuas and three professors cried, “There’s three of us now!”

They all got in the time machine again, and again, and again. There were 6, 12, 24, 48…. 100’1024, 2048, 4096… 128000, 256000…. MILLIONS of them!!!

One Joshua said, “There are millions of us!”

One Professor said, “Now listen all of you. Who is the real Joshua?”

Joshua said, “I am!” Another said, “I am.” Still another said, “No, I am!” All of them were now saying, “I am… I am… I am…” Thousands of them were talking!

Finally the first Professor found the first Joshua, and the first Joshua found the first Professor. All the others said “Nice finding each other!”

“Let’s go back to the right time,” said the professor.

“Let’s go,” said Joshua.

So just the two of them got back in the time machine. They pressed the button and made it back to the right time at the professor’s house.

When they got out there were no more Joshuas, and no more Professors. There was just one of them each. They were very happy.

They lived happily ever after.

T H E E N D

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