ONE FROM THE HEART
(Hank: cooking dinner. Franny enters)
FRANNY
Hank!…. Hank!
HANK
Hey.
FRANNY
Hey, what are you doing?
HANK
I’m cooking. Special anniversary dinner. (pause)
What are you so dressed up for?
FRANNY
I thought you said we were going out tonight.
HANK
I thought you said you were tired of going out.
FRANNY
I said I was tired of going out to eat! Not tired of going out.
HANK
Oh… Well… then we’ll just forget this.
(Hank leaves the dinner, goes to sit down… after a beat Franny follows him)
FRANNY
I’m sorry.
HANK
Hey, that’s OK.
FRANNY
You OK? (she starts to hug him)
HANK
Fine… just don’t hug me, OK? I don’t feel like being hugged right now.
FRANNY
Alright… I’m not hugging you.
HANK
Can I get a little room?
FRANNY
You want some room? (beat) You know, Hank, we made love last night for the first time in three weeks.
HANK
Oh really?
FRANNY
Really.
HANK
I was there too, remember?
FRANNY
Oh, were you?
HANK
Yeah… some coincidence, huh?
FRANNY
Didn’t you want to, Hank?
HANK
What… last night?
FRANNY
Yeah
HANK
I don’t know. I thought… well… you know, if Franny wants to.
FRANNY
Well, I didn’t. But I figured we might never do it again, so if Hank wants to… I might as well go ahead.
HANK
Aww… come on. You didn’t do it for me. You don’t do anything for me.
FRANNY
A lot of times I don’t feel like making love Hank, and I do it… for you.
HANK
That’s great Franny. Thank You. That’s terrific. What are you… the fucking Red Cross?
FRANNY
(almost to herself) Life has to be more than this.
You know, if this is it… Then it’s just not enough.
HANK
So what do you want from me? I’m not the social director around here. I’m not here to entertain you.
FRANNY
I know… alright! Don’t get upset.
HANK
I’ not upset. It’s just sometimes you piss me off, that’s all.
FRANNY
Well sometimes you piss me off too… (beat)
You know, when I first met you, Hank; I thought this is definitely not the guy for me. Uh-uh… No way. But then… I started to like you anyway. Then… I started to love you because you were nice.
HANK
Nice?
FRANNY
Yeah… nice. Your were really, really nice. And I thought that maybe you would change a little, and I would change a little. And we would both get together and everything would be alright. But… but you haven’t changed. And you’re not even nice anymore.
HANK
So what about you, Franny? You know… you know you use to shave your legs all the time, now you don’t shave ‘em for weeks. When we first started going out together, you really took good care of yourself. You were… very appetizing. But now…
FRANNY
What? What do you mean now? My God, what about yourself? You use to have a damn good build. You did! Now… you’re starting to look like an… an… egg.
HANK
An egg?
FRANNY
Yes… an egg.
HANK
Hey look, if I was getting a little out of shape, you could’ve said somethin’. Why didn’t you say somethin’?
FRANNY
Because frankly, Hank… you never listen to anything I’ve got to say anyway.
HANK
Well… that’s because you generally got nothin’ to say.
FRANNY
Oh I got something to say. I got lots to say! I got lots to say!
HANK
You’re really saying something now.
FRANNY
That’s it! I’m out of here! I’m going for a little ride.
HANK
Great! Run away. Now, that’s what you’re good at!
FRANNY
You know what you’re good at, Hank?
HANK
No, what? I can’t wait to hear.
FRANNY
Being boring. (beat) It took guts for me to say it. So let me get the hell out of here, before I wind up being a bore just like you.
HANK
Good-bye Miss Excitement! You know Franny… you’re full of shit!
FRANNY
Yeah?
HANK
Yeah… You’re always talking about some island paradise; but when you get there, baby it’s just gonna be you and all your shit walking along the beach.
FRANNY
No, no, no, not all my shit, because you won’t be with me.
HANK
You damn right I won’t be with you. Because, I’ll be right here taking care of business. Because I’m solid Franny, not some flake like you.
FRANNY
Flake? I’m a flake? What are you, a rock? You never go nowhere, you never do nothin’. You just sit there like some broken piece of junk.
HANK
Hell… I should’ve walked out of here a long time ago.
FRANNY
Well, you didn’t. And you’re not walkin out on me now. ‘Cause I’m walkin out on you assface!
HANK
Awwww… forget it!
FANNY
Naw… you forget it! Hank, it’s over.
HANK
Oh… I’ll tell you a little secret. I knew it was over last New Year’s Eve. When I didn’t want to kiss you at midnight. I wanted to kiss a… what’s her name, you know… that tall blond from Wal-Mart.
FRANNY
Yeah, I know the tall… blond from Wal-Mart. Well, I didn’t want to kiss you either; I wanted to kiss Moe!
HANK
Moe?
FRANNY
Yeah… your best friend, Moe.
HANK
What?
FRANNY
He followed me into the bathroom. He had my blouse half off and his tongue down my throat. And I was enjoying it.
HANK
You kissed Moe?
FRANNY
Stay away from me, Hank!
HANK
You bitch! (he grabs her)
FRANNY
Don’t you put your hands on me, Hank!
HANK
You’re a fuckin whore!
FRANNY
And don’t you call me a whore; you hypocritical son-of-a-bitch. You called that tall chick from Wal-Mart the next day, didn’t you? And you slept with her… (pause) And I knew. (she cries)
HANK
Awww…. Naw… I don’t know nothin’ about… what, what are you talkin’ about? (he tries to embrace her)
FRANNY
You are so low. You’re the lowest. I don’t even know how I fell in love with you in the first place. (pause) Let me go. (she grabs her coat and things)
HANK
Come on Franny! Come on baby… Awww… Jesus, baby… how did we get here? (franny exits)
Alright, if this is how you want it, this is how you’re gonna get it…. Hey Franny, come on…
You’ll be back, you know that! You’ll be back.
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