THE FOREST HILLS JEWISH CENTER

106-06 Queens Boulevard, Forest Hills, New York 11375

718-263-7000

BAR\BAT MITZVAH GUIDELINES

A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is a unique and sacred occasion for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family and the congregation. The following guidelines have been provided to help facilitate your celebration, and to partner with you at this special time.

The primary goal of the Shabbat morning service is to celebrate Shabbat via a time-honored liturgy. As part of the service, a number of other religious obligations, or mitzvot, may be fulfilled, including (but not limited to) baby namings, aufrufs, and yahrzeits, in addition to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah.

Our synagogue strives to provide a meaningful setting for this special occasion, and to assist in assuring that every child is properly prepared. In addition, we are eager to be of help in planning the simcha. It is our goal to make this happy occasion religiously fulfilling and memorable.

BAR\BAT MITZVAH ELIGIBILITY

Age: According to Jewish law, a young man or woman becomes a Bar or Bat Mitzvah when he or she reaches the age of responsibility and religious accountability. The ceremony marks the transition from childhood to young adulthood. At the Forest Hills Jewish Center, this transition is usually observed at age 13 for both boys and girls. We recognize that there are times when neither the Forest Hills Jewish Center nor Day School are appropriate educational settings for a particular child. In this instance, the child’s family, along with Lynn Lancaster, Rabbi Skolnik and Hazzan Rosenblum, will work together to find an appropriate alternative.

Education:

1  The Bar\Bat Mitzvah candidate must be currently enrolled in, and have attended religious school with regularity for at least 5 years immediately prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah (Gimel. Dalet, Hai, Vav and Zayin), or be a student at a Jewish day school.

2  Jewish learning is a lifelong process. After becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, the student is expected to continue his/her education at least until the end of the school year, and hopefully through Hebrew High School. Bar/Bat Mitzvah is not a graduation. Please call Lynn Lancaster, the Director of the Religious School, Ext. 213, for more information on post-Bar or Bat Mitzvah education.

Financial Obligation:

The family of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah candidate must be members in good standing of the Forest Hills Jewish Center at the time of booking the date of the ceremony. Membership must be maintained with all financial obligations up to date until the end of the year of the Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Of course, we encourage families to retain membership in FHJC after the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, as well.

1  The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Contract, signed upon booking the date, requires a down payment of $500 and specifies the due dates and amounts of subsequent payments.

2  The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee covers:

a) All preparation of the student for the Bar or Bat Mitzvah service

b) Sponsorship of the standard congregational kiddush

c) A leaf on the Cantor Erno Grosz Simcha Wall located in the Lerner Atrium.

PREPARATION

Familiarity with Religious Services: All Bar or Bat Mitzvah candidates must conform to the Forest Hills Jewish Center Religious School B’nei Mitzvah standard: a minimum of twelve Shabbat services per year. This requirement must be satisfied at least three months prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah date. Junior congregation services are appropriate until approximately six months before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah During the six months prior to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, we recommend that your child attend services in the main sanctuary so that he/she may become familiar with the adult davening. We encourage you to join your child at services and to provide a visible and concrete example for him/her to follow.

Practical Training: The Bar or Bat Mitzvah lessons include teaching the child to chant and to understand his/her Haftorah and Torah portion. Prior to beginning private lessons with Hazzan Rosenblum, every Bar or Bat Mitzvah student in the FHJC Religious School will participate in a trop class taught by the Hazzan in which the skills for chanting the Haftorah and its blessings will be learned. Fulfilling the requirements of this class is a prerequisite for private lessons with the Cantor. SSSQ students have Torah trop included as part of their curriculum in the year or years prior to the pre-Bar or Bat Mitzvah year and are expected to begin lessons with Hazzan Rosenblum with this basic knowledge. Other day school students will be assessed on an individual basis.

About six months before the actual Bar or Bat Mitzvah, please arrange to meet with Hazzan Rosenblum as a family to discuss Bar or Bat Mitzvah preparations. Private lessons will subsequently be scheduled on a weekly basis. Regular and prompt attendance is required. Please note: when Religious School or Day School is cancelled due to a secular holiday, Bar or Bat Mitzvah lessons will still be held unless other arrangements have been made in advance. If there is a question about scheduling, please call Zhanna Krinberg in the Synagogue office at ext. 200. If a private lesson needs to be cancelled, please call at least 24 hours in advance as a courtesy to Hazzan Rosenblum.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah skills are cumulative and are taught in the following order.

1. Blessing before and after reading the Torah.

2. Blessing before and after reading the Haftorah.

3. The Haftorah and its trop (melody).

4. Maftir reading from the Torah (with the Torah trop)

5. Torah reading (one or more aliyot up to the complete parasha).

The Bar or Bat Mitzvah student will learn the first three skills, minimally. At the discretion of Hazzan Rosenblum, those students who are able and motivated will also be taught to chant from the Torah to the degree of their ability. If you feel your child needs more than the six month block of private lessons because of special needs or a desire to surpass the minimum requirements, you may contact the Hazzan to discuss this request, up to 18 months before the Bar or Bat Mitzvah date. Under these circumstances, private lessons with the Hazzan may begin up to a year in advance.

Rehearsal: Plan to attend a mandatory Bar or Bat Mitzvah rehearsal on the Thursday evening just before your simcha (other times may be arranged if necessary – call Zhanna).

Tallit and Tefillin: Both girls and boys MUST have their own tallit at least six months prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Additionally, boys must own a set of tefillin (optional for girls).

OBSERVING SHABBAT

Preparation: Everything needed for your simcha must be brought into the building no later than Friday morning prior to your event. Please coordinate this delivery with Zhanna. Nothing may be delivered or moved from the building during Shabbat (including flowers, food, etc.). You may pick up items after Havdalah (one hour after sunset on Saturday), or on Sunday.