Communicating with Families about Challenging Behaviors
June 2017 /

Guiding Practices for Engaging Families in a Problem Solving Conversation

Informing a family of their child’s challenging or problem behavior is a process rather than a one-time event. Preparation, planning, teamwork, and open and honest communication is essential to a successful outcome. Remember that families may be distressed when hearing of concerns regarding their child. It is also true that professionals delivering the news or sharing observations may also be distressed. Planning and preparation for the meeting will provide support to both families and professionals during the meeting.

Things to consider beforethe conversation:

  • Understand the relationship between you and the family/parent
  • Recognize the strengths of the family and the dynamics of their family life
  • Clarify the goal of the conversation
  • Know how to open the conversation
  • Identify objectives and anticipated outcomes
  • Be prepared to share observation and objective data
  • Be able to articulate the impact of the behavior and the preferred behavior
  • Be willing to ask for clarity and clarify as needed
  • Be willing to accommodate, collaborate and compromise
  • Be ready to revisit the goal at the end and adjust as needed
  • Be willing to provide support to the family throughout the process

Things to consider during the conversation:

  • Truth: do not promise what you cannot deliver or say what you do not mean
  • Reframe and reflect: reframe when and if appropriate; listen, reflect and clarify
  • Understand the feelings of others
  • Strategies: offer concrete strategies and determine follow-up steps
  • Together: seek common ground when developing strategies and next steps

Things to consider at the conclusion ofthe conversation:

  • Was the goal accomplished and, if not, has a time been set to re-meet?
  • Were the objectives met?
  • Is there a clear, written plan for moving forward?


When talking with a family about challenging behaviors, it is helpful to follow a problem-solving model. This is an example of a problem-solving model:

  1. Define the problem (ex: Stewart is having a difficult time transitioning from a preferred activity. Are you noticing this at home? What is your child doing that concerns you? What times of the day are especially difficult for your child? What activities is your child involved in during those times? Who else is involved in the activity with your child? What is happeningbefore and after? How well do you understand what your child is trying to communicate during these difficult times of day?)
  2. Explore solutions (ex: Have you found anything that works to stop the behavior? How have you been able to re-direct your child to more appropriate behavior?). Offer solutions such as:use a visual transition cue, use a timer that buzzes at a set time, have an adult assist with transition, use a First/Then board to offer choices, etc.
  1. Choose an appropriate strategy (ex: What is your hunch about which strategy would work best for your child both at home and at school? How would this strategy help you at home? What would it look like if you used this instructional strategy at home? How can we support you in implementing this strategy at home?)
  1. Act on the strategy (ex: Together decide on a strategy the family can use and discuss how they can gather data to use later to determine if the strategy is effective.)
  2. Evaluate the effectiveness of the strategy. Review data from the classroom and home and discuss with the family to determine if the strategy was effective or if more time is needed to implement the strategy. (ex: How are things going now that you are trying this new strategy? Have you noticed any changes in behavior? Do you think we should continue using this strategy, or should we try something else?)

Sources:

National Center for Family-Centered Care, the Association for the Care of Children’s Health.Key Elements of Family-Centered Care.

Brazleton,T.B., 2000. The Touchpoints Model. Individual Level Training Program.

Exceptional Children Division, North Carolina Department of Public Instruction. Effective IEP Team

Practices. Retrieved January 29, 2011 from

NC Early Learning Network is a joint project of the NC Department Of Public Instruction, Office Of Early Learning
and UNC Frank Porter Graham Child Development Institute