Goodrich/ Sordid Secrets/ Chapter 20/ Page 8
Chapter Twenty
She had achieved avoiding him all evening. She kept her distance through dinner and the concert Camilla had arranged in the music room with a regional tenor. Though Nicolette couldn’t quiet her thoughts about him, she did keep from speaking to him. She was still furious from her overheard conversation between Colin and Lord Marcus. She even kept herself from getting trapped in his stares which could have melted her resolve. But Colin, too, seemed to also be estranging himself from her. What an odd turn after what Nicolette had heard between Colin and Lord Marcus this afternoon. Wasn’t he supposed to be seducing and ruining her? He removed himself, when they fell into the same circle of conversation after dinner. His excuse was on account of needing to refresh his drink. At first, Nicolette was relieved, but it quickly began to alarm her.
Sure, Nic too was anxious to be rid of Colin, but why was he avoiding her after pursuing her so aggressively earlier? It made no sense. Wasn’t she suppose to be the one avoiding him and not the other way around? At first, Nicolette wondered if Colin had seen her fly past him and Marcus when they were locked in their secret conversation. Was he scared that she knew the Avenry and Garrison’s plans? That she would immediately run to Alexander to warn him of an attack from the Nobles’ rivals?
Or was he annoyed with her possibly new relationship with Sara? The young Marquis’ daughter sure knew Colin well and pushed Nic in every way to know him better as well. She had an agenda— there was no hiding that fact. But was this agenda a part of Colin’s grand scheme? That answer Nicolette was still unsure of.
Now it was past one in the morning and Nicolette was pacing outside Stonefield’s illustrious study like a child. She assumed rest of the house was sleeping due to the silence. Confused in all aspects of the evening, she couldn’t sleep and now couldn’t decide whether to confront him or not. Sara’s words were persistent in her head, but not for the correct reasons. How could she trust Sara’s advice, when all of his actions proved him otherwise? Nicolette only knew of his concealed motives, for she heard his business plans clear enough from the stairs this morning. But in those plans, he played too carelessly with both of their lives and that just wasn’t fair. If Colin wanted to bed every tease from here to Lisbon, she didn’t care. But he was now pursuing her and dangerously.
Nicolette paused in her dance before the study doors. With Colin out of her eyesight, Nicolette could easily disregard any feelings for him as part of the trap she had fallen into; but when his eyes captured hers, she had to admit that there was a strong attraction. She had been courted by plenty of attractive men. In Lisbon, Fernando was the smoothest of charmers, as well as, one of the wealthiest men in Portugal. Then why did she choose to leave with Colin from the dance square?
It wasn’t that Nicolette had made the conscious decision to confront Colin, but something in her mind – most likely desperate for sleep – had decided for her.
As she entered the study, he raised his head from the desk. The crystal bottle of scotch was now only a quarter full, but he was still sober enough to acutely stand when he caught sight of her. Neither had changed from their dinner clothes, despite the late hour. Nicolette was still in her dark emerald gown with gold stitched bodice. Colin’s navy suit had wrinkled some since dinner and he wore the white woven unbuttoned at the neck with his cravat untied about his shoulders. She knew he was in here alone and that this would be the best place to confront him for now. It was late enough that no one was awake, but a public place so she would not give into temptation.
A devilish grin creeped across his lips. “Well, well, to what do I owe this honor?”
Tongue-tied, she watched him raise a brow to her frustration. She could not make out his tone. Was he mad, merry or drunk? Finally she dryly offered, “I came knowing you would be here.”
Slowly, he began to saunter from behind the desk.
She raised a hand to signal a halt to his advance. “I only came, because I want you to know how badly you’ve behaved.”
“Me?” he faultlessly questioned.
“Yes, you! How dare you send Sara to first befriend me then speak on your behalf!”
Colin honestly demanded, “what are you speaking of?”
She stepped forward, pushing her intention. “Could you not convince me on your own, so you begged sweet Sara to act as your emissary?”
“I don’t know what Sara told you, but I didn’t send her to do anything. I can take you myself.” His words were more like a challenge than an explanation. Colin’s formidable, russet brow wrinkled in perplexity. He seemed in earnest thus far. “I’ve never relied on anyone to charm for me. Sara is a mischievous girl with a passion for trouble. She also is not very well liked among most ladies in society, which I account to their jealousy. But she has wanted to meet you—befriend you—since hearing of your infamous escapades. You shall have much in common with her.”
Nicolette was shocked by his flat, crisp tone. Though she had practiced the words in her head many times before entering the study, they all now failed her. So Sara’s intentions were sincere. Nicolette may really have an ally in the house. But this still did not excuse Colin’s other offenses. Tightly gripping the sides of her green gown, Nicolette kept her stormy eyes to the floor. She wanted to scream at him about all the hurtful and vengeful things she heard this morning on the stairs, but she couldn’t tell Colin that she knew of his plans. “I still have every reason in the world to think ill of you. Your blatant disregard for my rejections has insulted me in every way possible. Especially in your actions this afternoon. Marcus could have caught your insinuation—”
“Do you think I don’t know that? However, you have forced me!”Colin’s fists balled and he pushed down onto the desk.
His tone frightened her in more ways than one. His anger was apparent and seemed uncontrolled. But he also frightened her because he seemed so earnest in his intentions. “Pardon me? You’re the one pursuing me!”
“And you’re denying me!”
“How dare you Colin, this is not a game!”
“I know it isn’t. But you are the one who first enticed me in Lisbon. Now you are denying me. How is this to be endured?” His heated eyes bore into her as if they would burn her up.
“What happened between us can never happen again.” She coldly turned her back to him and took a deep breath to calm herself. Nicolette didn’t know if she was referring to their lying, their honesty, their closeness or their kiss.
Swiftly overcoming the gap between them, Colin brushed behind her. She didn’t know how he moved so fast. His fingertips swept under her long raven curls on her back. Ultimately, he clasped her shoulders to keep her from deserting him. “Why do you deny me now?”
She shrugged him away. “Because I’m not yours.”
“In Lisbon you were willing to be mine.”
“But we’re not in Lisbon.” Nicolette wished he would desist from constantly reminding her of that choice of Colin over Fernando. He was using her irrational behavior while she was senseless from a blow to her head.
“Lisbon, London, Stonefield… all I know is regardless whether I see you or not, I feel you inside and out.” He lightly stroked her neck with the back of his hand. His scent of sandalwood and cinnamon overwhelmed her. “Come on, Nic, open your heart if you dare.”
Tears threatening to reveal her true feelings to him, she finally turned back to him. “I always take challenges, but I can’t now. I came back to this damned society because of a promise to my brother, but now I feel again all the reasons I fled to begin with. This society doesn’t have a tolerance for me.”
“You truly fled to Lisbon because of them? Or was it because you’re afraid of trying to live in this society?”
“I fled society because of their judgments…from what you thought when you found out who I truly was. That I was a ruined woman.” Nicolette couldn’t help admitting the slanderous term against her. She turned her face from him, letting the shadows hide the stinging tears in her gray eyes. “But now I’m in even more danger of being branded.”
“Danger from me?”
He was too calm, too collected and this drove her mad. Nicolette resentfully wiped her eyes from the emotions he forced from her and managed to put a hiss in her dry tone. “I don’t know.”
Walking around her, Colin forced himself into her sight. There was such a wealth of heat in his eyes as they fastened on her. “Is why you left me in Lisbon, because you feel unsafe with me?”
“No. I left Lisbon, because I was confused.”
“About me?”
“Yes! You’re an Avenry. I know your reputation. You use people—especially women. You are also ruthless like your family. Now you have the chance to mix the two by getting your hands on the Noble daughter and ruining her…”
He was silenced by her, as if her words hurt him as much as she had been wounded earlier.
Nic shook her head as the words continued to fall from her lips. “But in Lisbon… you saved me... twice. You showed me that you were something more than your name. I don’t know what the truth is anymore—do you want me or just to ruin me? I don’t know.”
“Let me show you the answer.” He directly swept her into his arms and forcefully pushed his mouth over hers. She was helpless in resisting him, but then she didn’t want to. She needed to just feel him. But that feeling of confusion and pursuit to understand him rapidly tuned into an intense, insatiable storm of desire. His hands held her captive, as his palms moved up to her cheeks. Colin pushed her against the desk, heavily pressing his body over hers. Her hands on his chest, she tensely wrung her fingers through his shirt and tugging at his vest. Nicolette sighed into his mouth as he moved his hands down her body and over her gown. He took the opportunity of her open mouth to show her the softness of his tongue. When her hands released his shirt and wrapped around his neck, he took the cue, swiftly. Colin finally clasped her back, pushing her up onto the desk. She didn’t care that they were in a study or that they could be caught. All she could feel was the weight of his body over her. Nicolette was breathless in his arms. Colin moved his lips from hers, sliding down her cheek. Once her mouth was free, she noticed how she couldn’t breath, but she didn’t care.
At first, Nicolette didn’t hear the sound of footsteps against the marble entry hall floor, but the distinct sound shook Colin’s senses. He quickly clasped her wrist and flung her from atop the desk. She clasped the edge of the nearby sidebar for balance, trying to regain her composure as well. Colin moved back pushing as much distance from her as possible, before Lord Marcus entered the study.
“Colin, you will not believe what Eloise—” His voice puzzled by suddenly noticing her pressed up against the side of the room. “Oh, Miss Noble?”
With a wobbly curtsey, she tried to control her breath to speak steadily. “Good evening, Lord Garrison. I couldn’t sleep, so I came for a book and now I am going to bed.”
“Well, goodnight, Miss Noble.”
She confidently walked past him, hoping he didn’t notice that she didn’t even have a book in her hand. Before she had left, Marcus had already begun sputtering about Lady Cawood. Nicolette paused in the doorway and turned back to Colin. His eyes were intensely fixed on her over his friend’s shoulder. She clasped one hand over her heaving chest and then with her tiny finger she traced her swollen lips. Breaking his gaze, Nicolette stepped out the door and into the shadows of the hall. She was thankful for the timely intervention. However, she now invariable had the taste of him. More than ever, she knew that no part of her was safe with Colin Avenry whether he truly wanted her or had another agenda.