Marilyn D’Auria, Professional NJ Wedding Officiant
Thank you for clicking on this tab! I am very happy to share my story with you and I’m thrilled that you
want to know more about me. Your ceremony is all about you, but this tab is about me, in an attempt to
share aspects of my life that you might be curious about. Some of you may interview me before your
wedding day, but most of you will not due to travel or time constraints.
If I were in your shoes, and about to pay someone a few hundred dollars to participate in one of the
biggest days of my life, I’d want to know the character, personality, and the competency of the officiant
I was going to choose.
In the same way that I am transparent enough to list my fees for services on my website (many officiants
do not) I am also transparent enough to let you know things that will help you get to know me.
Employment History
I am a 1980 graduate of Temple University Tyler School of Art where I earned a BFA with enough credits
accrued in painting and photography to be able to claim a double major. I worked for many years at
PECo in the capacity of a forms and graphic designer. Later in life I earned my teaching credentials by
continuing my education through the New Jersey Alternate Route Program for Teachers.
For seventeen years, I worked as a New Jersey educator. I’ve taught every grade between kindergarten
and twelfth during my career as a teacher. I have two New Jersey teaching credentials; one in Art
Education K-12 and the other in Elementary Education K-6. Part of that time I also taught art to children
in community art centers and I was privileged to serve as a weekend docent at the prestigious
Philadelphia Museum of Art and also participated in the museum’s weekend children’s programs.
My experience in education and at the museum obviously required solid writing skills, creativity, a loving
nature, and being confident enough to speak in front of and to instruct others. Some of my significant
writing accomplishments include being the author of the Accreditation Proposal which successfully
resulted in one of my former schools gaining accreditation in the state of New Jersey. I have also been
hired for more than one position where there was no curriculum in place, and I created the curriculum
that is still used by subsequent teachers in those positions. It has been confirmed to me that lesson
plans I created through the years have been used by my successors.
Unfortunately, my career as an educator ended when my most recent school district cut the budget in
the art department where I was working. Despite stellar rankings in all my observations and evaluations,
and being told by my employer that I was the one teacher he didn’t want to lose, I was still the one to
get the pink slip because I had only worked at that school district for two years and I was the only nontenured
teacher in the department. To add insult to the injury, I had signed a mortgage only seven days
before getting laid off.
How I Became a Professional Wedding Officiant
Obviously, with a brand new mortgage, and by now a single parent with two sons in college, I was frantic
to secure a teacher’s position for the following year. As painful as it is to admit, I learned the brutal truth
that at fifty plus years, nobody wanted to hire me. In fact in two years time, I was only granted one
teacher’s interview. It was heart breaking, because being a teacher had been my whole world. Nobody
loved being a teacher more. It also felt like a huge betrayal and the experience took the wind out of my
sails.
With my life savings all but depleted, I understood that I had to reinvent myself once again and I had to
do it quickly. After assessing my strengths as an artistic, creative person, with good writing and speaking
skills, and as someone with lots of love in her heart, the idea came to me that maybe I had the skill set
to create custom wedding ceremonies and officiate them for people in love.
I must have gotten it right, because I am now entering my fourth year as an officiant and I can’t imagine
doing anything else. I have met hundreds of wonderful people, been privileged to learn their stories, and
have managed to create a niche for myself that I feel no one else in South Jersey has been able to fill.
Not only do I create one-of-a -kind ceremonies for my couples, I also create the handfasting cords, love
letter boxes, and decorative wine glasses for the couples who choose those ceremonies. Every item is
custom ordered and created uniquely for the couple it is intended for.
My Ordination
I was ordained in 2001, many years before I ever became a professional wedding officiant.
As a child I was reared in the Catholic faith, went to Catholic school, and received Catechetical
instruction through the twelfth grade.
During my childhood I began having unusual experiences that might be considered paranormal or
psychic, and my interests always leaned toward the metaphysical. They didn’t go over so well when I
told the nuns and priests back in the 60’s. Since I knew my experiences were genuine, I eventually and
very privately drifted from my religion of origin and began searching for my own truth.
As a kid, I invented my own private, inward belief system. I was propelled by the idea, ‘If I was born on
an isolated island, and no one taught me anything about God or Jesus, what conclusions about the
spiritual world would I come to on my own?’ I decided that being loving and kind, and doing good things
was the secret of a life well lived. Maybe there is an afterlife, or maybe there isn’t, and maybe heaven
and hell can be found right here on earth. I decided that being as honest and caring as I could be was its
own reward. I also figured that God was everywhere, probably not a man, but more like a supreme
being who was approachable for guidance and support when needed, but did not concern Itself with our
everyday lives. As a young adult I became fascinated by the laws of physics and science, and decided
that nature was as genuine as reality could be, and everything in nature is the result of the cause and
effect of natural forces at play. This observation led me to believe that maybe our rewards and
punishments come as a result of our own life choices, along with some circumstances beyond our
immediate control, and our way of dealing with those things that seem to come from nowhere.
I determined that nature was evidence of forces beyond my understanding. Respecting the earth, for
me, means to take care of it, and also to take the time to observe it every few weeks as it makes its
subtle changes through the seasons. I also figured that like ancient people, the sun and moon and stars
should have some significance because without them there would be no warmth, no mystery, no
creativity, and no life. What a ball of energy the sun is, and there is no denying that without our unique
relationship with it, we’d be a lifeless ball of dust ice.
I began celebrating and observing my own personal religion, one that made sense to me, while going
through the motions of getting married in the Church, baptizing and going through First Holy
Communion with three children. Still, I never kept it secret from my children that I went outside at the
crack of dawn every six weeks to observe and take note of the progression the earth was making as it
made its trip around the sun. When other kids were given crucifixes by their parents to protect them
from harm, I gave my kids ‘magic’ rocks to keep in their pockets and hold onto when they became
frightened. It’s not that the rocks were the same as a deity, but they were solid objects, millions of years
old that stood the test of time. They are imbued with strength and witnessed the secrets of the
universe. Is there a more powerful object to hold in one’s hand? My children also knew that I read tarot
cards, not to divine the future, but as a method of reflection and for seeing possibilities. I read cards for
profit and also taught adult tarot classes. (In fact, if you’d like a tarot reading you may request one from me at tarotclarity.com) My kids were raised with a little bit of magic in their lives.
My community was decidedly Christian, and someone like me was akin to being a little bit of an oddball.
When my father died in 2001, it was an awakening for me. While my father was alive I maintained the
façade of being a good Catholic; partly out of respect to him, but also because frankly, I didn’t want to
deal with his disapproval. The irony is that now, I think he might have understood and supported me.
Access to the internet by 2001 was a staple in our home and it was my desire to learn if others believed
as I did. I didn’t want to join any ‘covens’ as by now, I had always practiced my religion in solace and did
not feel the need to shout it from the rooftops. People who impose their beliefs on others have always
offended me. But I did want to validate that I was not alone in my beliefs. Universal Life Church offered
me remote learning and support. It is a community of people, of all belief systems and walks of life.
Universal Life Church was established in 1959, long before the internet. People consider it an online
ordination, but in order to become ordained, I had to write a letter justifying why I wanted to become
ordained and a human had to read it and grant me the ordination. I had to wait it out. I also had to
prove my identity, and prove that I wasn’t a made up person. When people earn online college degrees
they never step foot on campus either. In fact, some online colleges don’t even have campuses. But ULC
is a real brick and mortar church and though based in California, I remain connected to ULC and
continue to learn from it. I never expected to do anything with my ordination, but I liked the idea of
being ordained because it gave me ‘permission’ and the responsibility of owning my own spirituality and
helping me find my own way.
Ten years later, I came full circle. My ordination is what offered me a new profession, and allowed me to
reinvent myself once again on this journey we call life.