Forgiveness and Reconciliation
(I forgive you but do I have to go to dinner with you
or for that matter do I have to be your friend again?)
Genesis 45:1-16, 50:15-21
The background concerning Joseph and his brothers . . .
· A favored son
· A fantastic dream
· A fateful encounter
· A faithful God
· A fruitful abundance and then famine in the land
· A fail proof plan
· A lesson in forgiveness
From the text . . .
· Joseph confronts his brothers (oh no) – 45:1-4 . . .
· Joseph forgives his brothers (oh wow) – 45:5-9 . . .
· Joseph provides for his brothers (oh yeah) – 45:10-16 . . .
· Joseph keeps on forgiving his brothers (oh my) – 50:15-21 . . .
True forgiveness . . .
1. Admits that someone has hurt you.
2. Acknowledges that a debt exists.
3. Refuses to retaliate.
“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God . . .”
Romans 12:19
4. Releases our offender of his or her debt toward us.
5. Seeks out reconciliation.
“Behold how God and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”
Psalm 133:1
“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”
Matthew 5:23:24
Why reconcile?
· Reconciliation displays our love for each other to the world.
“By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13:35
· Reconciliation demonstrates the power of the Gospel.
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciliation the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”
2 Corinthians 5:17-19
· Reconciliation empowers us to the resist the attacks of the enemy.
“If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.”
Romans 12:155
For reconciliation to take place there must be . . .
· Repentance
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Amos 3:3
“If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us.”
1 John 1:8-10
· Restitution
“And Zaccheus stopped and said to the Lord, ‘Behold, Lord, half of my possessions I will give to the poor, and if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I will give back four times as much.’ And Jesus said to him, ‘Today salvation has come to this house.’”
Luke 19:8-9
· Rehabilitation
“Let him who steal, steal no longer, but rather let him labor . . . “
Ephesians 4:28
· Rebuilding of Trust
“Brethren, even if a man is caught in any trespass, you who are spiritual, restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness . . .”
Galatians 6:1
It takes one to forgive.
It takes two to be reunited.
Forgiving happens inside the wounded person.
Reunion happens in a relationship between people.
We can forgive a person who never says he is sorry.
We cannot truly be united unless he is honestly sorry.
We can forgive even if we do not trust the person who wronged us once not to wrong us again.
Reunion can happen only if we can trust the person who wronged us once not to wrong us again.
Forgiving has no strings attached.
Reunion has several strings attached.
Lewis Smeades in The Art of Forgiving
6. Resists the temptation to embarrass our offender.
7. Relieves our offender of unhealthy sorrow and guilt.
8. Is a lifelong commitment.
“Love . . . keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:5
9. Recognizes the sovereign hand of God in all things.
“It was not you who sent me here, but God.”
Genesis 45:8
“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”
Genesis 50:20
How do we I appropriate God’s sovereignty in my life?
· Be mindful of God.
“For this is a gracious thing, when mindful of God, one endures sorrow while suffering unjustly. I Peter 2:19 (English Standard Version)
· Filter every situation through a firm belief in the sovereignty of God.
“God doesn’t cause people to sin against us, but He does allow it, and it is always allowed for a purpose - for our growth and Christlikeness.”
Jerry Bridges