Practical Parenting Top Ten List
Express genuine affection to every child, every day, in many ways. Smile, wink, hug, kiss, say the words “I love you,” write a letter, send a postcard, make a phone call, send an e-mail, compose a song, write a poem, give a gift, tell an inside joke, lovingly tease. Refuse to berate, shout at, criticize, or haphazardly criticize.
Teach your children right from wrong. Share your own experiences. Read moral stories. Share experiences. Teach lessons. Let them suffer the natural consequences of poor choices.
Help your children learn to wait. Follow grandma’s rule: “Eat your vegetables before dessert.” Teach deferred gratification. Help them save for major purchase. Teach them to put off something of less importance now for something of greater importance later.
Read with your children. Check out a basket full of books each week from the library. Read a fascinating novel at bedtime. Share the love of reading. Reading each day with your child is the best thing for cognitive development.
Communicate with your children. Shower your child with honest, specific feedback (More positive than negative). Listen with your whole heart, mind and soul. Converse about topics your children are interested in. When disciplining, explain why. Arrange one-on-one time.
Give your children choices. Let your children decide what clothes to wear and what to do with their money. Do not give them a choice that you are not prepared to accept. Help them learn from poor choices.
Filter and meter the media. Limit media time and exposure. Set media-free times, Schedule TV watching. Don’t watch TV while eating. When the media violates the standards of your home turn it off and explain why. Put the computer in a public area of the home. Use media filters (TV-Guardian, internet filters). Avoid premium movie channels. Be an example.
Encourage positive friendships. Live in a neighbourhood with good kids. Go on outings with families who have children that would make good friends. Encourage your home to be the gathering place. Feed your children’s friends.
Work with your children. The family that sweats together, sticks together. Plant and tend a vegetable garden. Assign chores then help the child with his/her jobs. Invite them to help you fix dinner. When a young child wants to help, let them.
Have fun with your children. Play any silly game they want to play. Go camping. Go hiking. Play ball together. Put together a jig-saw puzzle. Go to the park. Tell jokes.
Discipline your children. Set clear boundaries, limits and consequences (with your children when possible). Explain why the boundaries are set. Refuse to use hostile discipline (harsh physical punishment) or to discipline in anger.
Don’t take parenting too seriously. Overlook small annoyances. If it doesn’t matter, let them do it. Don’t carry a grudge. Forgive others. Forgive yourself. Remember you are learning too.
Build your marriage. The best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother. The best thing a woman can do for her children is to love their father.
Make God a partner in your parenting. Pray with your spouse for your children. Pray as a family. Pray one-on-one with your children. Pray with a purpose together for something important. Read the scriptures together. Share your beliefs about God.
“Be the kind of person you want your child to be. Be around your child enough for it to rub off.”
From E. Jeffrey Hill, PhD – BYU School of Family Life 2002