TrinityEvangelicalLutheranChurch October 15th and 18th, 2009
Brillion, Wisconsin Pentecost 20
Mark 10:1-9
Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” “What did Moses command you?” he replied. They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife,and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
There are two sandboxes. The one sandbox has perfect, white sand; the sun is shining on it, and the happy kids playing in it. It has the best toys. No one there cries. The kids get along. One child even says, “Here’s the bucket. It looks like you need it to make your castle.” None of these children get hurt and none of them die.
There’s another sandbox too. It’s too close. You’ve heard your parents talking about it in low tones, “I really don’t want him to go over there. It’s dangerous.” You eye up the other sandbox. It’s dark over there. The kids fight over the dumbest toys. What’s worse is you can see holes in the side of the box from shrapnel flying. Sometimes kids get hurt over there and they get sucked down in quick sand. It’s not a good place to be. Your Father has one simple rule about that sandbox. He says, “Son, listen to me now. It’s important that you obey this rule. I’m tellin’ you because I love you. Don’t go over to that sandbox. Stay in this one.”
In that same spirit your Lord speaks to you. There are two sand boxes you can play in when it comes to marriage. You can play in the safe, happy one. That’s one the Lord built. You play in that sandbox when you follow his rules for marriage. When you don’t, you’re playing in the dark, deadly one. Listen to your loving Father tell you how to play in his sandbox. He’s saying, “Listen. It’s important you obey my rules. I’m tellin’ you because I love you. Don’t play in that other sandbox. Stay in mine.”
These are the Lord’s Laws of Love about Marriage.
People from the other sandbox, we’ll call them unbelievers, often love to test the Lord’s teaching. They are blind to their dark awful sandbox. This time it’s a group called the Pharisees who come with a question. They ask Jesus, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? (v. 2)”
Let me back up for a second. There was this awful debate going on. Some said, “If she’s annoying, talks too loud, and burns your toast, then divorce her.” Others said, “You can only get a divorce if your partner does something gross.” If Jesus said, “Yes, you can divorce your wife.” One group would scream, “You don’t care about God’s law Jesus.” If Jesus said, “No, you can’t divorce your wife.” The other group would yell, “Jesus, you don’t get it. What world do you live in?”
So these people come with a sickening question, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” Here’s one of my favorite things about Jesus. He never answers the wrong question. Instead, he always redirects people to the right question. “What did Moses command you? (v. 3)” By the way, Jesus sets a good example. Next time somebody says, “What do you think about so and so getting a divorce?” Don’t answer. It’s not the right question. It doesn’t matter what you think. Never did. Never will. Instead redirect, “Well, what does God say about it?”
“They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.’ (v. 4)” No doubt these people knew their Bibles. They knew that Moses allowed people to get a divorce. Of course, that’s not really the issue. The law that they were talking about was the government’s law. It’d be like saying, “Well, the State of Wisconsin permits me to get a divorce. Therefore, it’s ok.” “Not so fast,” says Jesus, “Two things wrong with that answer. #1 I didn’t ask what Moses permitted. I asked what he commanded. Those are two different things. #2 Just because the government allows it doesn’t mean it’s right.”
“‘It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,’ Jesus replied. (v. 5)”Moses let people get a divorce not because it was ok, but because they had a heart condition. We have a word, sclerosis, which means “a hardening.” We often combine it with another word to make “atherosclerosis,”meaning, “a hardening of the arteries.” Jesus says that people who get a divorce have a sclerosis of the heart. Jesus means, “Moses let people get a divorce because they weren’t Christians. They didn’t give a rip about marriage so instead of letting a couple tear each other to shreds he let them get a divorce.” It’s the same reason the state of Wisconsin allows divorces. The state doesn’t allow divorce because it’s good and healthy, but because it’s a necessary evil in an unbelieving world.
“But please understand,” Jesus says, “That’s not the way I want it. Here’s the way I want it,”“But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ (v. 6)” He made a man and a woman for each other. Unfortunately, I also have to point out what Jesus didn’t say. He didn’t say, “God made them male and male.” God hates homosexuality and bisexuality. He made them male and female. They were to physically and emotionally complement each other. And they did and they do.
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife. (v. 7)” God made a man for a woman and a woman for a man. It’s a beautiful thing. They meet. They go on dates. They grow to like each other. Eventually, they make the decision to love. And love is a decision. They choose each other. They leave father and mother, and then they’re united. Here’s where another common sin arises. People get it backwards. They think, “I’m not sure if we’re going to make it. Let’s move in together and try it out.” Or, just as bad, they think, “We’re engaged. We have a child together. Let’s move in. We’re getting married eventually anyway.” They are playing in the dark deadly sandbox. They think they’re making a happy choice, but they’re not. These people have much worse rates of divorce once they do get married, and worse yet they are spitting in the Lord’s face. Jesus says, “Leave Mom and Dad. Thatmeans you publicly get married. Then and only then you’ll be united to your wife.”
“And the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. (v. 8)”And in marriage God designed a beautiful union. The two become one flesh. One! He even went on to make sure we understand. He said, “When two people get married, they are no longer two, but one.”You’re one in the way you think, and if you’re not you work towards that goal. You’re one in your vision for life, and if you’re not you find a nice compromise. You share common goals. And last, but not least, you share a common bed. Sex is God’s gift within a marriage and not outside of it. You’re one.
Trouble is, our sinful desires wage war against the oneness of marriage. Whether you’re married or unmarried, you’ve sinned against the oneness that is reserved for marriage. First, let me talk to you single folks. Ever stashed a Playboy under your bed or looked up porn on the internet? Sex is for marriage not for you by yourself. Ladies, ever looked for ways to be alone with your boyfriend? That’s lust and it’s wrong. That’s for marriage not for dating couples. It doesn’t matter whether it’s sexual desires, sexual favors that precede intercourse, self gratification, or pornography. Those are sins against God’s gift of marriage. Now for you married folks. Ever disliked your spouse, yelled at them in selfishness, slept with them to gratify yourself and yourself alone? Ever argued to get your way instead of seeing yourself as a team? Ever lashed out in anger instead of reaching out in love over a disagreement? Ever thought of your marriage as a prison instead of God’s gift? I ask you those questions not to be mean, but with the hope that you’ll say, “God, you’re right about me. I have sinned against you. Forgive me.”
We’ve all sinned against marriage and that means we’ve sinned against God. Yet there’s another gift that God had planned, but this one didn’t start at creation. This plan began before time. God said to himself, “I want to find a way to make people perfect. I want to find a safe place to put the nuclear waste of the world’s sins.” There was only one way. He had to send his only Son. Jesus was born a person. The plan was for him to trade his life for yours. God said, “I want my people to be perfect. You live a perfect life and then give it to them.” So live a perfect life he did. He never lusted, thought, or did anything that disrespected God’s gift of marriage. Just the opposite, he did everything he could to help people respect God’s gift of marriage. Bottom line is he never sinned. Jesus lived a perfect life for you. That’s how he took care of your perfection problem. God also said, “I want the nuclear waste of people’s sin to be gone, to never touch them again.” New Mexico was not an option. God buried our sins in Jesus’ tomb. Our sins are dead to us. They were taken down with Jesus’ body. They don’t count against us anymore. Jesus removed our sins from our accounts. Jesus died for you. Finally God said, “I want my people to believe it. I want to make their guilty feelings go away. I really want them to know they are forgiven.” That’s why Jesus rose. He rose because we are forgiven and we are perfect. Jesus rose to show you that it’s true.
You are holy and perfect. You are loved by God and people who get to live with his perfect peace. That’s what teaches you to say, “No! I don’t want out of my marriage. I want to make it work.” It teaches you to shout a loud, “No, I will not move in before I’m married,” and, “I will love my husband with all my heart.” It teaches all of us to say, “Yes, I agree with Jesus words,”“Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate. (v. 9)”When it comes to marriage, you’re joined. The word joined means, “yoked together.” When you get married God puts a yoke around the two of you that ties you together for life. You can’t leave her and she can’t leave you. You’re yoked and have no ability to take the yoke off. That’s the idea. You’re yoked and contrary to popular belief it is not your right to get a divorce. It is only God’s right to end your marriage. Listen to what Jesus said. “Let man not separate.” And I know that there are difficult marriages out there. The Lord’sword stands. He says, “let man not separate.” And when you listen to his words, you’ll be happier for it. Jesus’ sandbox is always the best one.
Sounds difficult, right? The disciples thought so too. They went and they asked Jesus about it. “Really? Lord,” They were thinking, “that sounds too uptight, too hard to do.” Jesus does not back down, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery. (v. 12)”There are two cases that the Lord imagines. A man divorces his wife and then remarries. Jesus says, “That’s adultery.” Same goes for the woman who does it. Jesus says, “That’s adultery.”
To you divorced out there – these words from Mark are not Jesus’ only thoughts on divorce. He says, “There are two exceptions to my rule about staying married. If your spouse leaves you or cheats on you, then you may get a divorce.” If you don’t fit into one of those two categories, then you have sinned against your Lord. But don’t despair. Divorce is not the unforgivable sin. Jesus died for the sin of divorce too. You have his peace. You are forgiven in Jesus.
Now to all of you –Jesus wants you to play in his sandbox. It’s a place of peace, forgiveness, and happiness. Stay right there. Don’t play in the other sandbox where you and others get hurt by getting a divorce, living together before marriage, and lust. People loved by God, stay in Jesus’ sandbox. It’s the happy place to be. Amen.