PACKET ONE
Never Say Never: Anything Goes
Written by Schmeliza Schrames and Schmelanie Schmeating
Disclaimer: This tournament should not be played sober. It is intentionally bad and unedited. Please direct all hate mail and pictures of quokkas to Gaurav Kandlikar.
One song with this title opens with the line “when the truth is found to be lies”. Anne Hathaway sung this song in Ella Enchanted in a pub with giants. Usher sang another song with this title, that claims he would“tell the violins, it’s time to sink a swim”, though the Justin Bieber version is more famous. For 10 points, name this song by Queen that asks “can anybody find me” this title phrase.
ANSWER: Somebody to Love
This athlete voiced Captain Charles "Chuck" T. Baker in Planet 51 and voices Cliffjumper in Transformers: Prime. He told Patricia that her books helped him through his divorce at the end of Why Did I Get Married Too? and played the title role in Tooth Fairy. He played the de facto head of KAOS and rival of Agent 86 in Get Smart and drove teenagers Sara and Seth in Race to Witch Mountain. For 10 points, name this former wrestler who played the title role in The Scorpion King.
ANSWER: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson [accept any combination]
This character is released from a freezer at the Sizzler and attacks Dog Poo before Al-Qaeda come to the rescue and Bin Laden is captured. This character's third novel, Gorilla Beach, was released a year after she spoke at Rutger's University. Often parodied by Bobby Moynihan on SNL, this character was punched by Brad Ferro and recently launched a spin-off with Jennifer Farley, or JWoww. For 10 points, name this guidette who starred on Jersey Shore.
ANSWER: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
A K-pop band with this name sings the songs “Be My Shine” and “Melody of Eyes.” The music video for a Big Time Rush song with this name features Snoop Dogg living in the year 2099. An Ashlee Simpson song with this title is about a love triangle and includes the lyrics “hey, how long till the music drowns you out?” Another singer of a song with this title sings “so say hello to falsetto in 3, 2, swag” and if he was this person he’s “never let you go.” For 10 points, name this title word, the counterpart to a girlfriend.
ANSWER: “Boyfriend”
In this movie, Alex is tased while carrying a stolen burrito. An amputee reminisces about his dog Mustard while hiking with Sam prior to taking out the communications tower on Oahu. Rihanna swims dramatically and retired veterans take over the USS Missouri near the end of this film to fight the aliens that have landed near Hawaii. For 10 points, name this awful 2012 film named for a game in which players attempt to sink naval vessels.
ANSWER: Battleship
Slade broke up with Jo De La Rosa on Season 2 of this show and they both later appeared on Date My Ex. And now Slade is engaged to Gretchen Rossi. Lydia McLaughlin is the most recent main addition to this show and Vicki Gunvalson is the only person in all eight seasons. Spinoffs are set in New York City, Atlanta, New Jersey, D.C., Beverly Hills, Miami, and most recently Vancouver. For 10 points, name this reality show on Bravo about wealthy women.
ANSWER: The Real Housewives of Orange County
When one contestant is asked to describe her perfect one of these in Miss Congeniality, she names one where all you need is a light jacket. In a movie titled for these, Grant shoots rejected bachelorettes and proposes to Julia while Frodo attempts to auction off engagement rings. Rosalee wins one of these with Tad Hamilton. Peter and Ethan are kicked off a plane and travel across the country to be present at the birth of Peter’s first child. For 10 points, name these events that come in “blind” and “speed” varieties.
ANSWER: date
When this show first started in 1991, it was produced by MoPo Productions. Some episodes help people confront their fears with the help of Gary Coxe or Boris Cherniak and Trisha Goddard has been a guest consultant on episodes dealing with out of control teenage girls. The host of this show hosted A Current Affair before this eponymous show that frequently uses the phrase “you are not the father!” For 10 points name this talk show that commonly deals with paternity tests and lie detectors.
ANSWER: Maury (accept the Maury Povich Show)
At a hurricane party at their boss’s house DJ Tobias thinks up a scheme that eventually gets Adam in trouble when he leaves ecstasy at a sorority party. Dallas is the owner of Xquisite and Tarzan wears a knee brace during his routine. The title character tries to get a loan from the bank to start a custom furniture business and becomes interested in Adam’s sister, Brooke. For 10 points, name this film about strippers starring Alex Pettyfer, Matthew McConaughey, and Channing Tatum.
ANSWER: Magic Mike
The end credits for one episode of this title only acknowledge "Jane Smith" and "John Smith". In one story of this title, Bridget is revealed to be allergic to cherries but bakes a cherry pie for a visiting midget. Nicole Kidman and John Travolta attempt to persuade Tom Cruise to leave this title state after he believes Stan is the reincarnation of L. Ron Hubbard. In one story of this title, Gwendolyn's visiting brother Twan is shot soon after Sylvester returns from his affair with a pastor's wife. For 10 points, name this R. Kelly hip hopera in which he hides in the title location.
ANSWER: Trapped in the Closet
END OF PACKET ONE
PACKET TWO
Never Say Never: Anything Goes
Written by Schmeliza Schrames and Schmelanie Schmeating
Disclaimer: This tournament should not be played sober. It is intentionally bad and unedited. Please direct all hate mail and pictures of narwhals to Gaurav Kandlikar.
The original fifth member of this group was Jason Galasso. Their first single, “I Want You Back”, was released in Germany in 1996. In one song they ask “would you be so nice to me, if I didn’t have cheese like everyday?” The songs “Space Cowboy” and “Just Got Paid” are featured on their album No Strings Attached. For 10 points, name this boy band featuring Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass, famous for the song “Bye Bye Bye”.
ANSWER: *Nsync
This person was born on September 10, three before her mother turned 19 and Irina tried to kill her a few weeks later. She is played by Mackenzie Foy in the movie adaptation of the book where she appears. Her first name is a combination of her grandmothers’ names and her middle name is a combination of her grandfathers’ names. She is a dhampir and goes by the nickname “Nessie”. Right after she is born is creepily imprinted on by Jacob. For 10 points, name this daughter of Bella Swan and Edward Cullen.
ANSWER: Renesmee Cullen
This actor went on a tour called "My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not An Option" and hosted the 12th annual Gathering of the Juggalos. This advocate of the 9/11 Truth Movement voiced Dex Dogtective in Foodfight! and played Topper Harley in Hot Shots!. This actor overdosed on Viagra as Tom Logan in Scary Movie 4 and played the drug addict who kisses Jeanie in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. For 10 points, name this actor who had a psychotic meltdown and was removed from Two and a Half Men.
ANSWER: Charlie Sheen
After being attacked by a live chicken in a subway, Felix Cedeno sued this film's producers as did Jeffrey Lemerond who ran away when the title character tried to hug him. This film's title character throws money at cockroaches while running away from Jewish bed-and-breakfast owners. One character in this film believes that Pearl Harbor and Texas are in California and later steals a bear from his companion when the two quarrel over Pamela Anderson. For 10 points, name this film about a fictitious Kazakh journalist played by Sacha Baron Cohen.
ANSWER: Borat
Hilary Duff plays Vanessa's roommate in Season Three of this show which featured Tyra Banks as Ursula Nyquist. The title character of this show, voiced by Kristen Bell, is almost discovered by Georgina Sparks but regains the stolen laptop in "Raiders of the Lost Ark" and is later revealed to be Dan Humphrey. Each episode begins by asking "Where has she been?" in reference to Serena, the best friend of Blair Waldorf. For 10 points, name this teen drama set in the Upper East Side.
ANSWER: Gossip Girl
This artist will be part of a collaboration album called Lipsha with the band that sings the songs “This Here Giraffe and “The Golden Path.” In her song D.I.N.O.S.A.U.R. she sings “you should be prowling around the old folks home.” She is featured on the 3OH!3 song “My First Kiss.” A music video for one of her songs involves a fight with James Van Der Beek in a club with unicorns. For 10 points, name this singer of “Tik Tok” and “Die Young” known for using excessive glitter.
ANSWER: Ke$ha
This man has a line of fragrances that includes “Instinct” and “The Essence”. He asks for a strawberry banana smoothie in Burger King commercial. He has an eponymous video game for Game Boy Advance called Go! Go! “this man”! Adventure on Soccer Island. In a recent ad this man runs after a van in his underwear to promote his line for H & M. For 10 points, name this metrosexual football heartthrob that plays for the L.A. Galaxy.
ANSWER: David Beckham
In Dinotopia this person is the granddaughter of Norah and has a dinosaur companion named Kalyptra. One person with this name made the solo albums Northern Lights and Stages after the break-up of the group she was is typically associated with. Tippi Hedren named her daughter this after the name of her character in her film debut with Alfref Hitchcock. Eddie Murphy fathered a child with a person named this. For 10 points, name the first name shared by two spice girls and one of the writers of this tournament.
ANSWER:Melanie
One of these people was the first celebrity voted off of Season One of Dancing with the Stars. The first non-American one of these people mourned Julien Hug's death. The leader of Team We Hate Vienna Girardi was one of these people who left the first show on which she appeared for a job with Facebook. Jen Schefft is the only one of these people to reject both proposals. For 10 points, name these women who participate in rose ceremonies on their namesake reality dating show.
ANSWER: The Bachelorette
The main character of this novel receives a first edition of Tess of the D’Urbervilles after her finals. The main character works at Clayton’s, a hardware store, and her photographer friend, José, has a crush on her. Elliot, the brother of the male main character, dates Kate, who makes her roommate interview a redhead billionaire. That man is the owner of a Red Room attempts to convince Ana Steele to sign a contract with him. For 10 points, name this kinky romance novel by E.L. James.
ANSWER: 50 Shades of Grey
END OF PACKET TWO
PACKET THREE
Never Say Never: Anything Goes
Written by Schmeliza Schrames and Schmelanie Schmeating
Disclaimer: This tournament should not be played sober. It is intentionally bad and unedited. Please direct all hate mail and pictures of kinkajous to Gaurav Kandlikar.
During the sequel to this film, one character performs a parody of Buffalo Bill's dance from The Silence of the Lambs to "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus. One song on this film's soundtrack exclaims "Chewbacca - what a wookie!". A Norwegian in this film rhymes "my love for you is like a truck" with "would you like some making fuck" in the song "Berserker." "Got Me Wrong" plays when Randal first appears in this film where he works at RST Video next to the Quick Stop convenience store. For 10 points, name this Kevin Smith film about Randal and Dante who work in the title occupation.
ANSWER: Clerks
One person on this TV show wrote the autobiography My Teenage Dream Ended. Catelynn and her stepbrother, Tyler, get tattoos in honor of their daughter, Carly. Amber from this show is currently in jail for drug possession. Derek Underwood died in a car accident before the birth of his child with Farrah Abraham. For 10 points, name this MTV show that follows the lives of the girls from 16 and Pregnant after they give birth.
ANSWER: Teen Mom
In a 2005 film, this actress played Maggie Peyton, daughter of Ray Peyton Sr. played by Michael Keaton. In her first movie appearance she goes to Camp Walden. McFly sings several songs for the soundtrack of Just My Luck, which she stars inwith Chris Pine. In one movie she sang the song “Ultimate” and Chad Michael Murray sings “Hit Me Baby (One More Time)” to her mother after the fortune cookie incident. For 10 points name this actress who played Cady Heron in Mean Girls.
ANSWER:Lindsay Lohan
David must avoid these creatures in Venice in order to save his girlfriend after he discovers the long-lost fortune of the Medici. One of these creatures dubbed the "Ancient Snow Beast" is shown about to eat a family building a snowman in one film. A tornado composed of these creatures is accompanied by the tagline "Enough said" in an upcoming film by the Asylum. Pheromones bring one of these creatures to battle with a giant octopus in a series in which the same "mega" creature also battles crocosaurus. For 10 points, name these animals that star in Jaws.
ANSWER: sharks
This singer was called “a disgrace” by Margaret Cho who said that she “made some chinky eyes standing behind an Asian guy.” A twerking unicorn is revealed to be this pop star who is the originator of the “Hoedown Throwdown”. This singer got in a fight with Tyra Banks over a pair of shoes and painted a chicken coop with Travis in her self-titled movie that features her song “The Climb”. For 10 points, name this Disney pop star whose alter ego is Hannah Montana.
ANSWER: Miley Cyrus
A Colorado first grader was suspended for singing this song which was performed as a church worship song in Joplin. Reportedly a favorite of Bashar al-Assad, this song’s music video features a speedo-wearing man ride a skateboard down a bar and a man wearing a gold box on his head. The singer of this song tries to tan his cheeks at the beach and claims he has passion in his pants. For 10 points, name this song whose singer proclaims “I work out” by LMFAO.
ANSWER: “(I’m) Sexy and I Know It”
In one movie with this word in its title, Hogan makes out with his professor Glady Goodbey, played by Carrie Fisher. In an episode of 30 Rock named for this animal, Liz Lemon goes on a date with Jamie, a coffee delivery man. A reality show hosted by Vivica Fox on TV Land was called this and the contestants were called cubs. Courtney Cox stars in a show that is named “this” town. For 10 points name this slang term that refers to an older woman seeking a much younger man.
ANSWER: cougar
Eura did not speak until the final episode of this series which replaced Maxxie Oliver with a lesbian cheerleader named Tea. In the first episode of this series, Stanley purchases $900 worth of weed but loses it when he accidentally drives a stolen car into the river on the way to bring the overdosing Cadie to the hospital. A squatter locks Chris out of his house after a party in one episode of this series which was not renewed for a second season in the US despite its popularity in the UK. For 10 points, name this short-lived MTV show accused of child pornography.
ANSWER: Skins
In this event, Trina McKay and Bobby Pietrick gave conflicting descriptions of the accuser. Lindsey McKinney testified that the accuser in this case was taking anti-psychotic drugs and had overdosed on sleeping pills twice. Prominent clothing during this event included dirty yellow underwear and a t-shirt with the accuser's blood on it. After this event, the subject appeared with wife Vanessa and confessed to adultery. For 10 points, name this scandal involving number 24 for the Lakers.
ANSWER: Kobe Bryant sexual assault [or equivalents]
Katie Couric launched a segment asking viewers “What’s your?” followed by this. This phrase opens a Lecrae song featuring Suzy Rock and is preceded by “now she want a photo, you already know though” in “The Motto.” The singer recommends to “bury all your money in the backyard like a beagle” in a song that calls this phrase “the battle cry of a generation” by The Lonely Island. For 10 points, name this phrase that means carpe diem for dumb people.