Tarik Buljubasic

Mr. Jennings

December 3rd, 2013

English 3

325 on the Bench

You just broke the high school record for the maximum bench press. Nice job man you're pretty strong. You might have the strength to join the Buljubasic family. Actually no, you aren't allowed to be called family. You need to be strong to join my family. You’re confused aren't you? Well let me clarify, you have strength but not the strength to join my family. My family has been through hell and back and to this day hold their heads high after everything they've been through. The war in Bosnia, it was the genocide of all people in Yugoslavia who wished to be themselves. All my family members have been through it. All my family members say the same about the war. It’s like nothing you can imagine, it’s scary, it’s something you cannot forget, and they don't wish this kind of thing on anyone. I have no idea what war is like. I dont have the slightest clue on what it’s like to witness someone being killed in front of my eyes, whether it’s a neighbor, friend, relative, or even a complete stranger. But hey, that was just an everyday thing during the war in Bosnia. So good for you, breaking the school bench press record and all. You’re strong I'll admit, but you aren't strong enough to be part of my family. You don’t have the strength to be family.

Let’s start with my father, now that’s a Buljubasic. Rifet Buljubasic is my father and I’m proud to be his son. I couldn't ask for a better parent than him. He may be somewhat of a hard ass but I’m glad he is, it’s helped shape me into the person that I am today and its taught me to stand for what I care about. When I make a mistake he makes sure I learn from it, and I do. A lot of my friends after they first see my father say, “man your dad looks mean.” Yes, my father when you first look at him may look like a strict or mean person but he really isn’t. The way I stand, my body shape, my stern look, all comes from him. I have a lot of people come up to me and say “man why do you always look mad?” I guess I can say I get it from my father. Its not that I’m mad or that he’s mean, its just how we look. My father can do many things and do them extraordinarily well. He can solve problems, build anything with just a hammer, cook, teach me how to do my homework, he’s an amazing driver, and knows how to not let anyone bring him down. If a war can’t break this man then nothing will. I hope I can grow to be at least half the man that he is. You know they say that everyday you learn something new, and everyday my dad teaches me something new. He’s taught me how to drive manual instead of automatic, he taught me how to cook an omelet, and over the summer of 2012 he took me to work with him to see what work was like. Of course there are countless things I’ve learned from my old man but those are just some recent ones. He always wants the best for me, and since he gives me the best he expects the best from me. Whether it’s grades, decisions, or actions it has to be the best, and thats all I give him.

I see myself as almost the same person as him but I’m not nearly as strong as him. My father was a cop before all hell broke loose in Bosnia. He was enlisted to fight for his country along with all the other cops he was working with. His older brother was enlisted too but the rest of his family had to hide. He’s never told me about fighting in the war besides one story of how he was hiding in a trench when a grenade flew in. He had no idea the grenade was in there but decided to get out and after taking a few steps away from the trench the grenade went off. That story is just one of those “woah are you serious” stories, but there was another story that he had just recently told me. He didn't tell me in detail so I don't know if they were captured or if it was while they were fighting front lines but he told me how he looked over to two of his close friends and saw them being killed. I didn't want the details, the death of two close friends to me is unimaginable. My dad probably thought the same until it happened to him. I’d need to recover from an experience like that, but he didn’t. He had to forget about his friends and keep fighting in the war. Two close friends taken from you just like that and having to forget about it and move on right away. Talk about strong...

Then there’s my beautiful mother. Although she was born a Karajic, today she proudly wears her name as Jasminka Buljubasic. My mother is absolutely wonderful. She has medium length brown hair and the face of someone twenty years younger than her actual age. She doesn’t go a single day without saying please, thank you, or I’m sorry. You could not meet a nicer person. I don’t get how she can put up with everyone like she does, including me. All I ever want to do is make her happy and see her smile. She has brilliant pearl white teeth and makes them look amazing when she smiles. I’ve had many people say I look like her. Along with my looks my childhood closely resembles hers too. She’d play outside with her friends all day and only come home to eat and sleep. The difference is she had friends of many ethnicities where as I didn't. Her high school days were kinda like mine too, the obvious difference there is her country was about to go to war.

It’s outstanding how she keeps her head up even after everything she’s been through and seen. My mother saw a relative of hers being killed right in front of her. But she kept going, nothing could make her stop. My family is everything to me and hearing my mother say she just shook off something like that really surprised me. I don’t even want to imagine myself in that scenario, but I don’t know if I’d be able to just shake it off like she did. I guess war really is like that, just trying to stay alive and not look back at things because they would just slow you down. My mother met my dad after high school and went through the war with him. Together they were able to build that strength that help them make it through the massacre of the people of their country.

Lastly there’s my cousin. Her name is Semsa Pilipovic and shes been taking care of me since I was knee high to a grasshopper. I’d go over to her apartments whenever both of my parents were busy working, which was just about everyday besides the weekend. She always made me take naps which I hated so much. What can I say, I was a kid, all I wanted to do was play. Today I’m too old for a babysitter but she’ll still swing by every once and awhile to watch my two younger brothers. It’s unfair that they don’t have nap time and I did..

Little did I know that she had been through things that she can't even get herself to speak about to this day. I was asking her questions about the war and she told me this story about how she saw a little boy trying to escape a burning house and was then blown up by a grenade. I’ve never experienced death in front of me but she was seeing it on a daily. To see a little kid escaping for his life just for it to be ended by and explosion is a lot to take in. She saw this but kept moving on to survive. To this day she keeps that memory of the little boy and lives with it everyday. After I heard that and saw her eyes tear up I didn't want to mention anything else about the war so we moved on to a new topic. I asked her about leaving Bosnia and she told me how she was running away with my parents. I had no idea about any of that. Apparently they made it to a refugee camp and stayed there together. My parents were both approved into America but she was not yet. She kept running, she said “you run to wherever the bullet won't catch you.” She was later allowed into America and told me how life here was hard at first but anything was better than war.

These are just three people of my family. They’ve been through the war in Bosnia and have been scarred for life. But my family doesn't break down, they didn't let that shatter their inner will. The Bosnian War was like a horror movie but even my mother said that no movie producer would be able to portray war the way it really is. There are movies about war but the actual thing is far more horrifying. To have lived through this and to keep your head up makes you strong. Bosnia isn't simply just a country, it’s home to one big family. The people of Bosnia have all lost something and haven't broken down. It’s now a strong and prideful country where my family lives. There’s a saying, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and now i see why people say that. The people of Bosnia were hit hard by the devastation of war, but they weren’t down for the count. They picked themselves up together and went on with life even after losing their land, homes, and even loved ones. So again, good job on your record breaking bench press. You’re strong, but not strong enough to be my family member.