Looking Closely at Voice: Part 2
Step Five: The following Voice To-Do List includes some things writers can DO to increase voice. Take a moment to read this list. Then, look back at the samples from Bryson and Seife. How many of these strategies did each use? What additional strategies did we overlook? Add those to the list now.
Strategies / Bryson (Sample # 1) / Seife (Sample # 2)1. Strong, active verbs
2. Figurative language (similes, etc.)
3. Sensory language (appeals to the reader’s senses)
4. Vivid details and images
5. Emotion or feeling
6. In-depth knowledge of the topic
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Step Six: Here are three short examples of student writing. Read each one aloud to yourself. Then, rank the samples from 1 (weakest voice) to 3 (strongest voice).
Writer 1:
I used to be quite a troublemaker when I was younger. Hardly a day went by when I didn’t get into some kind of trouble at school and home. I used to blame everyone else. When I would get in trouble, I would make up excuses and tell teachers the other kids were picking on me. Now that I’m older, I realize how I should have taken responsibility for my actions. The mistakes I made when I was younger have made me a better person today.
Voice rank
How did you come up with that ranking?
Writer 2:
I’d had my driver’s license for exactly three days when I made a left turn at precisely the wrong time. I was alone in the car, the music wasn’t on, my blinker was flashing, the light was green, and the roads were dry. What could go wrong? I was the best driver on the planet, and I was invincible. With the courage that only comes from inexperience, I turned directly in front of a maroon convertible carrying four equally courageous guys about my age. The maroon car slammed into the passenger door of my car, pushing the seat almost ninety degrees toward me. The window exploded into thousands of tiny fragments, but I don’t remember hearing it break. For what seemed like the longest time, I just sat in the car staring at my hands on the steering wheel, thinking, “my dad is going go be mad. He’s going to be so-o-o mad.”
Voice rank
How did you come up with that ranking?
Writer 3:
Jason said he’d go to the dance with me, but I think he really wanted to go with someone else. He kept trying to dance near this one girl and her date. I didn’t really like that. He was pretty quiet in the car and at the restaurant.
Voice rank
How did you come up with that ranking?